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Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: rightly on February 17, 2021, 09:09:37 PM

Title: funk of blue
Post by: rightly on February 17, 2021, 09:09:37 PM
Well the last few days have been quite exhausting
I’ve been composing and mixing and producing this latest song
These are the words below


Funk of Blue


 honey, you've got that voodoo
 'can hardly take my eyes off o' you
'feeling like I could move a mountain
with y' here in this deeper funk of blue

it's funny you just say the word
the ticking of the clock does sound absurd
I can finally hear the voice of nature
asking me if I would have the nerve
 giving all I get both night and day
working up a sweat to throw it away

promise me you'll never be dishonest
 ev'ry distance bridge with your promise
 left without I wear the crown of doubt
no schoolin' is foolin' me to want this
brighter lights are found in darker nights
let the fall precede the greater heights

here in this deeper
funk of blue
Title: Re: funk of blue
Post by: CaliaMoko on March 04, 2021, 07:48:01 PM
Just saw this for the first time this morning. That I can remember, anyway.

I "hear" this as full of polarities (is that the right word?) Feeling great, yet in a funk. Night and day. Working hard for something and throwing it away, brighter lights/darker nights. I especially like the last one: the fall preceding heights. It's the opposite of what I would expect, so it catches me by surprise.

I saw one thing I might change, depending on what you're going for. The word "promise" occurs twice and pretty close together. If you wanted to avoid that, you might say something like, "Swear to me you'll never be dishonest".

That's all I have. And now I have to go look to see if you've posted the final version yet....
Title: Re: funk of blue
Post by: rightly on March 04, 2021, 10:23:55 PM
Just saw this for the first time this morning. That I can remember, anyway.

I "hear" this as full of polarities (is that the right word?) Feeling great, yet in a funk. Night and day. Working hard for something and throwing it away, brighter lights/darker nights. I especially like the last one: the fall preceding heights. It's the opposite of what I would expect, so it catches me by surprise.

I saw one thing I might change, depending on what you're going for. The word "promise" occurs twice and pretty close together. If you wanted to avoid that, you might say something like, "Swear to me you'll never be dishonest".

That's all I have. And now I have to go look to see if you've posted the final version yet....


hi @CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928)
I like that couplet
from promise to promise

please check the audio track of this in
finished songs

Title: Re: funk of blue
Post by: CaliaMoko on March 04, 2021, 10:59:37 PM
@rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) : Just from the way it flowed, I thought you might. I'm on my way to listen now.