The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: LostBoy on January 19, 2021, 05:26:53 PM
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Hi everyone,
I was at work cleaning windows mumbling melodies to the morning sky, when I stumbled upon the phrase “Shouldn’t, but I do”.........I thought to myself that that was a pretty cool line...mainly cos it’s got a bit of a naughty edge to it and secondly, cos it sings like “Scooby dooby doo“ Which appeals to my being just a big kid!🤪🤦🏼♂️ (imho) anyway....I came up with a story, wrote some of the lyrics, melody and sent a voice message of me singing it to my friend Shevaun asking if She wanted to join the project....I was super happy when she agreed as I know how talented a singer she is.
Musically I messed around with some loops and when I found a groove I liked, I then wrote other little bits and then found THAT bass line (thank you Ezbass) it was a lot of fun to put together. I don’t think I’ve ever layered so many vocals in a song before so that was an exciting challenge.
Shevaun recorded all of her vocals just on her iPad headphone mic!!😱😱😱😄 ikr? She came up with that gorgeous high Harmony which I didn’t know the song needed until she sang it and she helped me with the lyrics.
I actually didn’t have to do too much to her vocals despite how she recorded them, which is because her singing is AMAZING...A bit of depopping and a slight, slight hiss, which I think I got most of...some Eq and compression & fx and we were off.
I played it to my wife with the declaration that there was absolutely nothing to worry about!!🤣🤣🤦🏼♂️
Anyway....all feedback is welcome. We hope u like it and thanks for checking it out.😄🎶👊🏻🎶
https://soundcloud.com/leo-b-5/shouldnt-but-i-do
Lyrics...
Got a girl and she means everything to me
So this is crazy...this is crazy.
Got a man and he’s just given me a ring
He’s my baby...he’s my baby..
So what’s going on,
cos when i see your face It all goes wrong
Every time your eyes meet mine I’m hypnotised
That’s why...when I lay awake at night
I shouldn’t but I do...think of you
Shouldn’t but I do....feel for you yeah
Shouldn’t but I do...need you
Well I’m damned if I don’t and damned baby if I do
Every morning work is calling you and me
To the city...to the city
Got a lot to do, but when you talk to me
I’m not busy, I’m not busy
Walking the wire
Trying not to fall for that smile
Tell myself I’ll be ok
I know my place
But I...when I lay awake at night
Chorus...
It’s a crush...dangerous...love when I feel the rush
It’s a crush...dangerous...dreaming about your touch x2
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@LostBo,
Super groove which reveals an instantly catchy song. Th production and song really are very accomplished. It's simply a cool commercial composition!
Paul
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Crazy catchy, amazing to think you constructed it from loops, and used Shevaun's iPad vocal. That bass is super cool. Great vocals as always - and love the way you two sound together. Very hooky too (even the la's)
I did wonder whether this was a time to start with the chorus? Just a thought.
Fantastic work.
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That title made me thing of one of the best pop songs ever, Good Girls Don't (but I do) The Knack.
That aside, top notch stuff as usual, smooth, slick, fab vocals, great production.
Totally not my cup musically but the quality and workmanship is glaringly obvious.
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Hi Leo
as others have said - super catchy groove in this one.
The vocals are the stars for me - not a note put wrong in them IMO.
Sort of 60's funk transported into the 21st century :D
Great collab
Paul
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Oh, man! I want to write catchy songs like that! I do have one nit, even though I hate to mention it because this is so good and I only want to say good things. Still, here it comes. I heard "needjoo" a couple times. I would rather hear a clean "need you".
That's it. It's great, the voices sound fantastic together, it's so catchy and hooky. Not only do I want to write like that, but I also want to sing like that...
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@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) Well I can’t offer any criticism of this it’s just going to be gushing praise!😂
This is Style Council at the top of their game!... super catchy, great hooks, that bass! And the vocals are amazing... how on earth were the female parts recorded on an iPad?!😮 overall, just brilliant!👌
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@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481)
Hi Leo, what they all said x2. The bass, the groove and the outstanding vocals are the highlight.
Good stuff
Jamie
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@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) @adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) @Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) @CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928) @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) @man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704)
Thanks very much for your favourable reviews guys. I really appreciate the support I get on this forum in particular. 🙏🏻😊👍🏻
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Very interesting bass guitar part. Beautiful vocals. The instruments and the arrangements are amazing.
I love how you did the vocal harmony. Really cool!
Maya
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You two sound great together @LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) ! Can't believe that vocal was recorded on an iPad headphones.. So very catchy - and that bass line sets the song off on its way nicely - just quality all the way.. For me, the vox are the star from both of you! Top class as always...
K
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@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481)
One of the forum members whose presence on a track is a guarantee of quality. This is simply top drawer from the off. Everything perfectly in balance, full of production ideas, catchy tune and fine, fine lyrics. Both the vocals are superb and the whole thing is a triumph. If I ran a record label and you turned up at my offices with this, I'd sign you on the spot.
Brilliant
M
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Lovely and groovy song and The vocals are perfect, good work!
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What a lovely well produced piece of modern pop this is Leo. Very modern sound. Great dual vocals, very hooky. Loved the funky bass as well. Top quality as ever
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@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) this track just popped into my headphones again, I’m liking it more and more, that bass is awesome!!!👌
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Yes, an absolutely fabulous bass line. Such great vocals. I like the use of sparse brass in this too. It's not possible to fault something that's as well put together as this. I love it. :)
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Didn't Goerge M do this? Know my good friend Leo :-)
Just got a great, feel good vibe to this.
Catchy, funky as hell bass and great pop with just the right touch of jazz funk I the soundscape, all topped off with you and Shevaun's great vocals.
Top marks, you can here the smiles all round
:-)
Neil
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@Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624) @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) @man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704) @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) @Melusine2 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22580) @ChrisPrice (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22723) @Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856)
A HUGE thanks for taking the time to check this out guys. Makes me wanna do more upbeat stuff.😄👍🏻
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Wow, great bass line ... maybe I should get EZbass ( I just bought EZdrummer :)).
Superb vocals and perfect harmonies, really funky, catchy melodies, this is top class. I agree with @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) , sign 'em up!
Kevin
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What a great song this it. :). Not only transported me from the depths of winter to sunny beaches & cafés but also from a 2021 Covidworld to a 1980`s funky soul period which probably never existed but the sun is shining & theres little to do but dance. Wonderful feel good atmosphere..the vocals are great and it sounds very professional . That chorus is so catchy. Well done @LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) . Brilliant stuff.