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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Maya Clars on January 10, 2021, 09:54:10 PM
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Hi! I wrote another song "My Dreams, My Nightmares". I was struggling with nightmares for a long time and they were always scaring me a lot. I got inspired by them and decided to write a song. Let me know if you like it!
YouTube:
This is the lyrics:
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I guess that I messed up your game
And now I'm lighting this flame
You're driving me insane
Insane
This f*cking world is gonna fail
Can I just exhale?
Twisted legs, sprained hands
My whole body's chained
It's tiring
The truth is lying
Soon this will be burned
Don't take the pressure
It causes depression
Take me like a pill
I'm your drug
My dreams are probably nightmares
And I so like them
May they appear to me tonight?
They say "it's better not to regret"
I don't
I know it's bad
(It's very bad)
Everything makes sense until we're here
So why we need to be afraid
And seek the refuge to be free
The truth is lying
But I'm still trying
Make some mistakes for you
Coz I'm not perfect
But this thought is hopeless
So make this topic taboo
My dreams are probably nightmares
And I so like them
May they appear to me tonight?
Just let me close my eyes tighter
I'm a friend with my nightmare
Don't wake me up when I'm in bed
If time goes by, it passes
So live your life in bad dreams
If time permits, don't rush it
(don't rush it)
If time goes by, it passes
Don't make me feel like plastic
I'm glad I have my...
(I have my)
(I have my)
My dreams which are probably my nightmares
And I so like them
May they appear to me tonight?
Just let me close my eyes tighter
I'm a friend with my nightmare
Don't wake me up when I'm in bed
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@Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624), This I see Melodic and at times menacing. Dreams can be a rich source of inspiration. Your production is clear and this is not at times unlike Allan's Del Ray. You have a lovely voice too.
Paul
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Very accomplished piece of work @Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624) and a very modern sounding production with the use of all the beats etc. Lovely production - Smooth 8)
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This is smooth sounding pop music @Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624)! The production is very smooth and it triggers the ear to listen, and your voice is very smooth too :)
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Hola @Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624)
Nice to meet you! I enjoyed very much the listening, it is a wonderful song and a very good production Congratulations!!
Mora
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Hi @Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624) , such an original contemporary sound you have created there. I liked how you have all those frantic beats from a beats sequencer contrasting with a quite melodic vocal. And a quality vocal texture too.
This is the first one of yours I have heard, and I’d say you have the potential to go far.
Stick at it ;D
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@Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624) - goodness, Sorry to hear of your fight with nightmares, they can be so real can't they...
That image of you with a holly leaf tongue, blimey that gave me nightmares....I remember your last song on here...like the song and the production, as others have said the vox delivery is excellent.
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Hey @Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624) ....... I really like the way this song moves along with changing dynamics that are highlighted by the beats.
You have a nice contemporary sound that is anchored in your super strong vocals.
Great set of lyrics....I hope this song helps you to exorcize these dreams. ;)
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Hi @Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624). This isn’t a style/genre I spend a lot of time listening to, but I can really appreciate the quality of the piece - its melodic and ear-catching enough without getting too easy or repetitive, there’s tasteful backing vocals, the lyrics are authentic and the production is smooth. Overall a very good job here I think.
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Wow! Where to start? Intriguing dark lyrics, beautiful vocals to a great melody, right up to the second stylistically, I really like what Billie Eilish is doing so this really appeals to me... amazing production... a great piece of work! 👌
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A nice contemporary sound I've never been able to manage. Beautiful work. Some nice contrast between sections. The only nit I can come up with is, occasionally there's a word with accented syllables opposite what I would expect, but I hear a lot of that in popular music, so you're in good company.
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A lot to like in this one.
The modern pop sound has been nailed fo'sure. Really nice vocal on this one; eerie and breathy to match the tone of the song. Really like the xylophone in the first verse as it really fits the mood of the song. The bass (synth bass patch?0 line is very simple yet it is natural and hooky and it never over stays its welcome despite repeating itself throughout the song. The chorus takes a bit of a turn by introducing some trapy sounding drums. The only thing that didn't work for me was the glitchy type electric drum rise as the chorus transitions back into the verse - kinda felt a bit out of place.
Lyrically I loved the line 'don't wake me up when I'm in bed'. It's not as poetic or graphic as some of the other well-thought out lines, but it captures the whole song in a nice conversational way (as modern pop should do!).
I got a real Arianna Grande 7 rings vibe from this; that's both the well polished production but also a cool vocal performance.
I'm interested in exploring this type of dark pop meets trap genre further so it'd be very helpful to know a little bit more about what you use to get your modern dark pop sound (ie what DAW, what synth patches, VSTs, loop/sample packs etc).
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That first verse is superb - love the way you play with the "a" sounds all through.
Love the chorus too, perhaps it could benefit from the swirly backing vocals being brought up a bit and maybe even some layered harmonies to really bring it up.
Great song and production again from you.
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First of all, that art covers gave me nightmares!!!!!!!
Very contemporary sounding and vox is spot on for the track. Good production.
My only complaint would be the "percussion" parts that comes in during the chorus.
To me that spoils the groove a little, getting a little too "on". Could have worked if the track was building up but after the chorus it sorts of drops down again. I think I understand what you are trying to do i.e. getting a "lift" to the chorus bit I think it now more or "rushes" then "lift"
Hope that made some kind of sense. Just my personal prefs, keep or sweep.
Top drawer stuff with even more potential.
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Hi, this is out of my normal range of listening, but I recognise the style from my daughters music choices. Very contemporary and actually I found the chord structure to be quite classical, which I enjoyed. Excellent vocals and production (as I said on your last post)
Cheers
Jamie
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Lyrically I loved the line 'don't wake me up when I'm in bed'.
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I'm interested in exploring this type of dark pop meets trap genre further so it'd be very helpful to know a little bit more about what you use to get your modern dark pop sound (ie what DAW, what synth patches, VSTs, loop/sample packs etc).
Hello @Sing4me88 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18817) ! I'm so happy to know you like the line "don't wake me up when I'm in bed". I like this one too :) I use Cubase as my DAW. You literally can do anything with your music. I love it and that's my recommendation. As for synth patches and VSTs, I use HALion 6 (it goes with the DAW). Also, Kontakt has high-quality instruments. I'm sorry but I can't say anything about loops and sample packs for the reason that I don't use them in my music. Thank you for your opinion. Have a nice day!
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Wow I'm more impressed now that I know you use mainly/only stock VST plug ins within your Cubae DAW. Your stuff is really polished that I'd swear blind you used loops of some sort, which shows the talent you've got for producing modern sounding stuff.
Loops are actually really fun to use and finding different sounds and thinking of how to manipulate them and fit them in is really fun. I'd encourage you to have a go with some loops/samples (Loopcloud is a good free resource) as a) I think you'll enjoy the process, b) they'll add something slightly different to what is an already very strong production set and c) foley and found sounds are very 'now' in the dark pop genre you so ably produce/write in.
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As noted, a really good and polished pop song. Great talent on show @Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624), writing, performance and production. Again :)
Karen
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Hey there, really cool song. I especially love the melody of the verses, it dances around brilliantly.🎶👍🏻🎶 Music was fab! I actually really like the glitchy drum/sfx u have going on in the chorus, it kinda musically does what horror movies do when the screen glitches as the nightmare gets closer!😱👻 very cool!
Great job! I look forward to hearing more of your stuff.😄🎶👊🏻🎶