The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Wicked Deeds on January 05, 2021, 08:42:39 PM
-
Spell for transforming a folk song
. Take a winter morning
. A dash of seasonal affective disorder
. ditch your beloved acoustic guitar
. grab your super sexy telecaster
. Politely ask Paul Simon to leave the room (even though he is a genius)
. Invite Scarlett Johannson to make a brief appearance
. Count your blessings
I was looking out of the window at the overhanging branches of the trees, skeletal and almost bereft of life. I truly hate the winter despite the beauty that it can often bring into our lives. I was Feeling more than a little down then into the living room walked Marie and suddenly I was thankful for everything that is now here in my life. I was thinking what would Paul Simon write? He might write about "the sound of the morning in the streets and the park'. I fingerpicked a lovely rhythmic harmony of chords and for once I learned how to play the song that I was writing before I hit the record button. I knew that this song needed an uplifting chorus and so, I sent out an Invitation to Scarlett Johannson to make an appearance. Scarlett is beautiful beyond words but I couldn't welcome her into my life permanently. How could I as Marie looking like a million dollars sang so beautifully beside me...........
and so, we embraced the words:
Scarlett Johannson, couldn't hope to match her beauty or her grace.
When she's beside me, the summer months will always be embraced.
Unlike the seasons, her love will not recede, it will remain,
Embrace my broken heart.
In life, little seems to last, 'They all come and go, each enchanting often fleeting like hellos'. It is is my wish for Marie and I enjoy a long and happy life together, exploring new adventures and perhaps healing together a little along the way.
https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1/unlike-the-seasonsmastered
Unlike the seasons
I look from my window;
the world passes by.
The sun makes me happy.
When she leaves, then I sigh.
The trees are so bare;
there are five more months to go until they're green.
I look to my love;
the most endearing sight that I have seen.
Scarlett Johannson, couldn't hope to match her beauty or her grace.
When she's beside me, the summer months will always be embraced.
Embrace my broken heart.
The sound of the morning
in the streets and the park.
The snow covered buildings,
the moon when it's dark.
They all come and go,
each enchanting, often fleeting, like hellos.
I look to my love, the most endearing sight that I have seen
Scarlett Johannson, couldn't hope to match her beauty or her grace.
When she's beside me, the summer months will always be embraced.
Unlike the seasons, her love will not recede, it will remain,
Embrace my broken heart.
Written by Paul Vasey
From the proposed album 'Let Your Umbrella down'
https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1/unlike-the-seasonsmastered
-
Great introduction to a fantastic song @Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) . Love how it moves and LOVE the chorus.
Great guitars....love how the bass punches through.
-
@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231)
You have the heart and observational gift of a poet. You see everything through the lens of an artist. You create music which reflects your soul. It is so hard to express such things without the music getting in the way rather than acting as a conduit. You have again succeeded here in expressing your emotions perfectly. Instrumentally perfect with your voice soaring over the instruments. Great isolation on the bass - not sure how you do that, mine is always muddy. Lovely song of course and I particularly like this verse which is so simple and plain in it's words yet conveys everything:
"The sound of the morning
in the streets and the park.
The snow covered buildings,
the moon when it's dark."
Oh yes, indeed.
M
-
Hola @Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231)
It's a wonderful song full of deep thoughts and feelings. I love the chorus, the guitar, everything here. Very moving.
Mora
-
You've out-done yourself again Paul though I wouldn't have thought it possible until I listened to this :D
Lovely flowing lyrics and I love how the melody line dances around over the chord progression in the chorus.
True talent on display here.
Paul
-
@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231)
This is a great song. I particularly like the production. Everything is well performed including some great vocals. There's quite a lot happening and yet there's still a lot of space for it breath. I really like the bass - that's my first instrument, and it really stands out on this. I really enjoyed this. :)
-
@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) ,
Nothing for me to say other than thank you sincerely 😀
Thank you @unclenny 😀
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) thank you for listening and reviewing 😀
@Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241). It was really a very basic folk song until I introduced the Scarlett Johannson lyric and provided the melodic lift that's it needed. Thank you. 😀
@ChrisPrice (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22723),
I work hard at the productions to include many instruments and melodic parts without overcrowding. Thank you for noticing that.
Paul
-
@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231)
Hi Paul,Very nicely observed lyric, with that air of anticipation and delicate singing. Loved the bass and the tele sounds, worked really nicely. No strumming along here1
Very good Paul
Cheers
Jamie
-
Thanks @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125),
Definitely not one to sing around the camp fire. At least not in it's current format 😁
Paul
-
Excellent sound, vox and production. Really good!
Maya
-
Very nice, a real sense of yearning in the song, love the bass line, flow and structure and great catchy chorus 👍
-
I love how the bass punches through the mix! Brilliant song and production, Paul! :)
-
It’s like your heartbeat skips a beat in the chorus and everything steps up as you have your beauty by your side. The guitar part in that chorus is both driving and very lovely too, reminds me a bit of The Cure and how they used to underpin great indie pop melodies with killer riffing.
As mentioned above, quite a poetic number and it’s a lovely concept you have brought to life with cool imaginings and rich lyrics.
I’d say this is definitely one of my favourites of yours Paul.
-
@Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624),
Thank you so much for listening and taking time to review this song. .
@Andreas (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22101),
Thank you so much.
Paul
@man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704),
Thank you, great to get some positive bass guitar feedback.
Paul
@Michael (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18732),
Thanks for your review Michael. There were so many good influences around in tge 80's. The Cure were superb. Some of the guitar based bands were so outstanding.
Thanks again @Michael (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18732)
-
I love the music on this Paul, that's a cool bass sound and some lovely guitar work as well. You reminded me of my own time with Scarlet!!🤣 I kinda wish I hadn't put the restraining order on her...sigh...🤣🤷🏼♂️
Good song man and it must be nice to sing with your wife.😄👍🏻
-
Yes that bass is a super thing; I really liked the heavy guitars which really make the chorus take off. The single line riffage is great too (in the lower register it works so well - though there is a part around 1'52" which to me seemed a bit too near the vocal).
I love the way you take both the negative of winter (I also don't like it at all) and the positive of SJ but they both don't matter compared to your present. And the title line and concept is fabulous. Quite the compliment, and a fantastic happy song but without a hint of cliche or derivativeness.