The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Unclenny on December 24, 2020, 03:08:31 PM
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With some time off for the holidays I can do more listening and maybe even get something new going in the studio. For now, though, here's something from some years ago that I dug up from my back pages.
Chuckling after writing out the lyrics....an awful lot of words for a mere 2:47. 8)
Loose Change
https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=11362553
I'm stranded on this rock
With nothin' up my sleeve
I hear all the talk
But I just don't know what to believe
'Cause these times are so strange
I got my hands in my pockets
And there's nothin' else there but loose change
We're stuck here on this rock
Stuck here in this town
Stuck here waiting
For the good times to come back around
And I can feel your pain
I'd really like to help you
But all I got here
Is loose change
INSTRUMENTAL
And while the days go slow
Time flies like a rocket
Guess I won't change much
With my hands in my pockets
Here's a little secret
It's just a little seed
If I dig a little deeper
I'll find just what we need
It might make a difference
It might ease a little pain
Things may seem a little loose
But they're still bound to change
I see you standing in the doorways
And standing in lines
And while I can't stand giving up
The things I hold as mine
If I had a little more
I'd think of giving some to you
But when I stop and think it over
I know just what to do
I'll dig down deep
And see if I can find
Loose change
It isn't really mine
So I'll drop some in your bucket
Buddy I can spare you a dime
'Cause with times the way they are
We could all use a little change
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Hola @Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611)
Cómo estás? I liked your song, its spirit, calm way to tell realities... I love the change over 1'25 it gave the sun joy and sun.
It's curious, lyrics could take me to the today even having been written years ago.
Love this
"I got my hands in my pockets
And there's nothin' else there but loose change"
Stay safe and Merry Christmas!
Mora
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@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611),
Great imagery re hands in pockets and loose change. I'm really enjoying the limited pallete of sounds and then suddenly your song springs to life with a lovely contrasting, fuller musicsl section. It's a cool song for sure!
Paul
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Hey there..............great song. Love the metaphor with the loose change.
Thought provoking, and musically gritty. Love that bayou blues feeling. Awesome harmonica............the keys are a nice touch, as well.
Great stuff, and full of surprises!
-Tom
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@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) .........I'm glad that you think these lyrics are still timely. I do as well. Thank you for listening, Mora.
@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) .......thanks for that, Paul. That middle section does take the song in a slightly different direction.
@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) .......thanks for you appreciation, especially for the harmonica. It's funny.....back in my youth I actually played harp a lot with a full blues rock band. I don't go to it very often these days. Thanks so much for listening, Tom.
Steve
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@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611)
Instrumentally this is gorgeous - the picked acoustic combined with the harmonica is so emotive. I also love your vocal tone - I would kill to have that authenticity. Lyrics are great with some good lines - "Buddy I can spare you a dime 'Cause with times the way they are We could all use a little change"is a great phrase. Where I'm not so convinced is in the thin melody and awkward phrasing where you're trying to get too many words in to the line. It's a good song and with a stronger melody and a little more work on the lyrics/lines balance it could be a great one.
M
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@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) .....I have to say that your comments and critiques of this tune pretty much exemplify my musical style and capabilities perfectly. ;)
If you listen to just about anything in my catalog you'll notice that melody is definitely my weak point. Most songs are only 3 or 4 basic chords. The honest truth is that I am very weak on music theory and I am not a very accomplished player in general. Add to that the fact that I'm really not much of a singer and, well....there you have it. :)
I realized all that years ago and knew that the only way to compensate for my inherent weaknesses was to stay within my limits and just put myself out there with as much honesty and feeling as possible to at least be authentic. 8)
I really appreciate your kind words as well as your spot on critique.
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@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611) This has a great vibe to it. I love the up front vocals and the imagery that you conjure up with the lyrics. Lovely acoustic guitar sound and nice harp too. Quality piece of work for sure :)
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Thanks for that @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) .......I appreciate you giving this one a listen.
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I like the attitude and message of this. And it's kinda amazing how something you wrote years ago seems so topical at the moment!
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Great cinematic feel to this...
The sounds (guitar especially) has a super rustic, roots-y feel to it which stamps its authenticity on the song. There are a lot of words, but there are only a couple of times where they seem to overwhelm the music. "Once upon a time in the West" sprung to mind for some reason. When it lifted, I wasn't expecting it at all...then settled back into it's groove nicely.
Vocals sound suitably lived-in and had a world-weariness that seemed to suggest that the good times might not be coming back anytime soon...if ever.
Nice song!
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Hey @PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) ....thanks for checking this one out. I'm glad that the change up caught you like that and I appreciate your insight into the storyline. Yeah, that old Stella guitar has a seriously authentic sound.
@CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928) ......yes, when I stumbled back upon this one it was somewhere around #150 in my catalog. I was surprised at how well it fit into the feeling of these days. Thanks for listening to it.
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Really enjoyed this Lenny.
Nice feel all the way through and love all the instrumentation. Organ sounds lovely....hey so does the guitar ....and the harp...and you've got a great voice for this kind of thing!
I think the melody is fine....you're kind of restrained in that area when you're doing a blues kind of thing so I wouldn' worry about that.... it's just good as it is anyway and the bridge makes a nice move away from the regular pattern to give the song an original twist.
All nicely played and sung and most importantly a good listen.
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Love this! Vox is a perfect fit for the song, great acoustic and the harmonica is to die for!
The part after the instrumental was a little of a let down for me though, felt like it changed the whole mood too much, almost like it was something salvaged from another song.
Just my personal prefs of course, ymmv and as I said, they rest I love :-)
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Hi Lenny, I really love that bluesey pickin’ riff that underpins this song, well thought up and very well played too. You guys over there have been having fun this week, so don’t give all your loose change away, you may need it! ;D
The harmonica playing is top notch too and one of your best examples. Very tight and disciplined, and all the better for keeping the whole thing short and sweet and full of punch.
Nice work and Happy New Year ;)
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I don't believe I've heard this before... A class act.. That harmonica playing is fab h I have to say and I do like the contrast of the song before and after it. The Loose Change lyric is great as is the full lyric... Some wonderful playing here @Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611).. Great atmosphere and mood to it.. Love it!!
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Sorry to be late in getting back here.....been a little crazy over here in the States.......
@Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra ........thanks so much for those kind words. I appreciate you taking the time to listen.
@Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) ........thanks for swinging by for a listen! Yeah, I knew that middle part was a departure from the pretty straight up blues format but that's where I went when I was tracking the guitar so I went with it. Definitely appreciate that about the harp. I used to play a bit more of that kind of harp in my younger days. ;)
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) .....really glad you like this one, my friend and, again, smiling here about the harmonica appreciation.
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) .....big smile here at your appreciation, Karen.
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@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611)
Hi, First off, this genre wouldn't be a 'go to' for me, but, theres something about an acoustic guitar and a well played harmonica that lifts a song out from the mire of other similar songs. Loved it! And I think you're being too self deprecating in your assessment of your musical abilities if you ask me ;).
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie
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Thanks @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) for your appreciation of a tune that is not right up your alley. ;)
As far as my musical abilities........there is so much amazing talent here in this community and I know my place within it. What I have become good at over the years is knowing my own inherent limitations and working within them to showcase what I have.
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I always seem to like your songs @Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611). I could listen to this in a bar in the deep south all day long. Great.
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I appreciate that @PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588) . :)
Haven't done a bar gig in many years.......you now have me reminiscing. 8)