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Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: Sterix on December 21, 2020, 04:15:00 PM

Title: A Calculated Kiss
Post by: Sterix on December 21, 2020, 04:15:00 PM
Sometime's a phrase will pop into me head and I'll like it so much I'll want to write a song about it. Such a one as this. Less than half an hour after hearing the phrase in my head I had the lyrics fully written to a lovely little ballad-like tune (I've recorded rough vocals for it too - I'll add a link to some when I get a version where I don't cock up the words just so you can get an idea of it).

{EDIT} Vocals uploaded (still managed to cock them up - but only really the last word!). For a short time only: https://sterix.rocks/home/a-calculated-kiss/


A Calculated Kiss

Verse
Suddenly
I was falling
Desperately
For an angel
And she took my heart and tore it from my chest

As we danced
To the music
Of our souls
I leaned forward
And I moved in with a calculated kiss

Chorus
It was a risk
That I was taking
This was it
Time to face it
That the woman in my arms was all the woman that I need

It was a risk
I couldn't pass on
Just one kiss
And a moment
Where the stars align and fortune favours brave men and their deeds

Verse
Silently
Your eyes met mine
Held my breath
For a long time
But you held your answer for a little while

I was sure
I had failed
That our ship
Had long since sailed
But then suddenly you touched my cheek and smiled

Chorus
It was a risk
That I was taking
This was it
Time to face it
That the woman in my arms was all the woman that I need

It was a risk
I couldn't pass on
Just one kiss
And a moment
Where the stars align and fortune favours brave men and their deeds

Bridge
It was a risk
But it was worth it
I took a risk
And now you're mine...

Chorus
It was a risk
That I was taking
This was it
Time to face it
That the woman in my arms was all the woman that I need

It was a risk
I couldn't pass on
Just one kiss
And a moment
Where the stars align and fortune favours brave men and their deeds

Finale
It was a risk...
A calculated kiss
Title: Re: A Calculated Kiss
Post by: CaliaMoko on December 21, 2020, 08:25:00 PM
Your "short time only" was apparently REALLY short. I seem to have missed it.  :( :( :(

So, with nothing to hear, I'm just going to have to get all picky-roony about the lyrics.  :P

So the first verse...I have this image of a man falling "desperately", meaning he's flailing his arms and legs and screaming for help. And then this angel comes along and he thinks maybe she'll save him...but...no--she violently rips his heart from his chest.

Oh wait! It says "falling desperately FOR an angel..." Never mind.

The word "that" is in the first half of the chorus three times.

I like that "calculated kiss" and especially including the word "risk" as well.

Now, if I could just hear it....
Title: Re: A Calculated Kiss
Post by: Sterix on December 21, 2020, 09:16:32 PM
Not sure why you can't hear it... the link works for me! I've double checked it...
Title: Re: A Calculated Kiss
Post by: pompeyjazz on December 21, 2020, 09:21:56 PM
Doesn't work for me either @Sterix (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22024) I assume it's private. Share the private link
Title: Re: A Calculated Kiss
Post by: Sterix on December 21, 2020, 11:07:26 PM
Okay. Is Soundcloud being totally stupid or something. It's not giving me the OPTION to share. Despire me Googling how. When I follow the instructions the option is NOT THERE. I've never had this problem before... I've shared other private vocals quite easily previously. Apparently I can't now (free account?).

Try here instead: https://sterix.rocks/home/a-calculated-kiss/
Title: Re: A Calculated Kiss
Post by: CaliaMoko on December 22, 2020, 01:53:36 AM
There will be some gibberish behind the web link. I wish I could post a screen shot here....although you said you've done it before. What do you see when you click the "Share" icon? In the box under the words "Private share"?
Title: Re: A Calculated Kiss
Post by: Sterix on December 22, 2020, 04:18:17 AM
The "share" button has disappeared. Even on a private track I'd previously shared (I know what you mean by the "gibberish" at the end of the URL). Forget that link. I'll remove it from the first post. Use the one from my website instead.
Title: Re: A Calculated Kiss
Post by: CaliaMoko on December 22, 2020, 02:35:29 PM
That'll work.

I did a search on missing share buttons on SoundCloud. Found this:

"Usually the reason why the Share button could be missing is because of ad blocker or another third party plugin in your browser. Please disable any plugins on your browser (AdBlock, Flashblock, Hola VPN, HTTPS everywhere, VLC Web plugin), since they might prevent SoundCloud from working properly."
Title: Re: A Calculated Kiss
Post by: hardtwistmusic on January 06, 2021, 08:05:12 PM
I had no problems listening.  Very good lyric, and nice vocal melody.  Let me know if you would like me to look and maybe find some musical accompaniment for it.  I might have something that would fit.  I don't want to spend the time writing, but if I have something, I'd let you have it.
Title: Re: A Calculated Kiss
Post by: rightly on January 11, 2021, 03:53:57 PM
hi

I usually find it difficult to judge or criticize lyrics without music

I did like reading these lyrics,
they're quite evocative, and these days
I'm in love and I'm more receptive to romantic stuff.

well written Sterix
I hope to hear this one day as a song.
Title: Re: A Calculated Kiss
Post by: Sterix on January 24, 2021, 04:52:27 PM
Quote from: hardtwistmusic on January 06, 2021, 08:05:12 PM
I had no problems listening.  Very good lyric, and nice vocal melody.  Let me know if you would like me to look and maybe find some musical accompaniment for it.  I might have something that would fit.  I don't want to spend the time writing, but if I have something, I'd let you have it.
Sorry for the slow reply. Been in a bit of a lull creatively this year and I've only been on the forum sparingly (mostly browsing real quick).

Glad you like it. Thanks for the offer. If you have anything let me know but if not, don't worry.
Quote from: rightly on January 11, 2021, 03:53:57 PM
hi

I usually find it difficult to judge or criticize lyrics without music

I did like reading these lyrics,
they're quite evocative, and these days
I'm in love and I'm more receptive to romantic stuff.

well written Sterix
I hope to hear this one day as a song.
Also glad you like it.