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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: PeteS on November 25, 2020, 05:41:23 PM

Title: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: PeteS on November 25, 2020, 05:41:23 PM
No, it's not about football!  A lot more serious is the rate of suicide in the UK.  I saw an article highlighting the fact that every 90 minutes someone takes their life.  I was shocked it was so high so followed the link to https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/ Where the facts are even more startling.  But there are things we can all do to help.  They have an 'Ask Now, Save Lives, initiative to get people recognising the symptoms and talking openly to try to help.

This all moved me to jot down a few ideas, get them over to Neil for him to work his lyrical magic.  I wanted it to be sad, impactful and hope for a potential solution in the message as well and i think it does that.

I know it's a serious message but please also listen to the song as a piece of music and critique in your normal manner.

Thanks


Johnny was the joker, the one who made us laugh
He told us all his stories, now that’s in his epitaph
No one really knew him, what was rolling round his head
Johnny wasn’t coping, and now we mourn his death

Friends and family, the burden never ends
They keep themselves busy, just get through the weekend
Everybody feels the guilt, devastation left behind
People always asking, how could we be so blind?

Every 90 minutes - Someone fades away
Every 90 minutes - Someone ends their days
Every 90 minutes - If we’d only made the call, if onlys never help!
Every 90 minutes - Someone fades away

We need to talk about it, a subject so taboo
It’s so complicated, but it could apply to you
Look beyond the cover, don’t judge by what you see
Open and discover, keep others close and free

Every 90 minutes - Someone fades away
Every 90 minutes - Someone ends their days
Every 90 minutes - If we’d only made the call, if onlys never help!
Every 90 minutes - Someone fades away

Mid 8
One in five they, dare to think about it
One in fifteen they make that fatal choice
It’s way more common than you think so come on make a call and maybe save a life.

Every 90 minutes - Someone fades away, it’s such a waste
Every 90 minutes - Someone ends their days, can’t be replaced
Every 90 minutes - If we’d only made that call, if onlys never help!
Every 90 minutes - Someone fades away

Every 90 minutes - Someone fades away, it’s such a waste
Every 90 minutes - Someone ends their days, can’t be replaced
Every 90 minutes - 5 minutes in your day to talk and save a life!
Every 90 minutes - Someone fades away

Verse 4
A year ago today, we said our long goodbyes
Johnny left this earth and, we got on with our lives
Everyone’s forgotten, His boy is still alive
Sitting by his gravestone, now he's a one in five
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: moraamarolaloba on November 25, 2020, 06:20:45 PM
A very emotional song. I like the melancholic softness of the first part and the contrast of the second ...
A portrait of so many anonymous John
Stay safe @PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588)
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: Unclenny on November 25, 2020, 07:38:08 PM
Very powerful piece @PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588) . The way that you use the soft acoustic guitar against the full production is brilliant and I really like how it ends.

The lyrics definitely stick. I'd like to see the lyrics from the final mix as they don't match up on some of the verses.
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: PeteS on November 25, 2020, 08:05:27 PM
Good spot Unclenny, I used an old version, schoolboy error.  they were all there, just in the wrong place!  We changed the order as we focused in on making verses 1, 2 and 4 about Johnny and 3 more generic about the problem.

I've put the correct ones up now.

I'm glad you liked it, we worked hard to get the various sections to have the level of emotion and power and yet still feel like they belonged there.

@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) Unfortunately there are too many people like this aren't there.  Thanks for listening.
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: pompeyjazz on November 25, 2020, 09:27:36 PM
Delicate subject well dealt with @PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588) I like the subtle acoustic, very atmospheric and it makes it even more dramatic when the guitars kick in for the chorus. Great use of backing vocals as well and you seem to have a knack of being able to write a catchy chorus. My only tiny nit would be that maybe the lead vocals lacked a little volume, presence or errr - balls ? Not a crit on the song at all as I think it's very good, just my personal observation  :) Nice work guys  :)
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: CaliaMoko on November 26, 2020, 12:47:31 AM
This is so good. Great contrasts. I really appreciate how the chorus starts with a bang. The only nit I might pick is in a couple places the rhythm of the words. Not much or too major and I only notice it because I'm an OCD sort of prosody rhythm freak.

It's all put together in such an effective way. Excellent topic choice, very appropriate for the times.
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: man made material on November 26, 2020, 01:21:27 AM
@PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588) a very difficult subject to tackle, but this is brilliantly done, when that first chorus and the full production hits, it really packs an emotional punch... there’s some really poignant lyrics too, and the break down to the final fragile verse emphasises this... powerful stuff👍
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: PeteS on November 26, 2020, 04:22:24 AM
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) Thanks John, vocals are always a problem for me so i experiment with different mixing techniques.  On this one I had duplicated the vocal and panned it left and right but i stopped short of shifting it along the timeline.  That caused all sorts of issues so I muted them, remixed the single vocal track and this is the result.  On the eventual track that sill go on the obviously highly anticipated Echo Dogs album, it will be different!  As a matter of interest are ballsy and volume similar?  I would love to get a more ballsy voice but it just comes out the same!

@CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928) Thanks Vicki.  The rhythm of words is such a personal thing isn't it. I know singers who I just struggle to listen to because of their rhythmic delivery, or lack of it, and yet my favourite singer is Frank Turner who squeezes soooo many swords into a song.  So i guess that rubs off in the way I approach Neil's lyrics.  Where I on'y like the flow, we discuss it and change them.

@man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704) Thanks!  That's what I set out to achieve so I'm chuffed with that!
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: Sebandme on November 26, 2020, 01:03:21 PM
Hey @PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588) i think the lyrics are great! Very well expressed. The chorus is catchy too, love the heavier guitars! Like @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) said the vocal was little lost, but the saying that the backing vocals were excellent. Nice work my friend!
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: kafla on November 26, 2020, 03:02:30 PM
Very brave to take this on @PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588)

If I was being really critical then for me some of the lyrics are genius and hard hitting - One in five they, dare to think about it
One in fifteen they make that fatal choice...the 90 minutes twist is pure genius...

But some for me

It’s way more common than you think so come on make a call and maybe save a life...laugh and epitaph...

I don’t know if they work...I hope it’s ok to say this...

Structurally I love it...brilliant instrumentation and what a chorus !!!!

As an aside have you tried vocal rider ? Would get your vocals balanced perfectly and something like Greg Wells voice centric is a good plug in for getting the vocals centre stage...

I hope you don’t mind my minor crits...I honestly love this and it’s such a brave subject to tackle 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: PeteS on November 26, 2020, 05:27:47 PM
@Sebandme (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22491) Thanks!  Neil is chuffed with the lyric compliments but I do remind him that I had more input to this one lyrically than any other  ;D

@kafla (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=6905) Thanks for the detail Andy, it really does help.  On the vocals, I have looked at a Vocal Rider but currently prefer to do it manually.  However, mid song I upgraded from Garageband to Logic Pro and whilst that gives me lots of new toys to play with, it has caused me some problems in understanding why somethings seem to work differently.  This vocal was perfect in GB but for some reason is all over the place in Logic.  I have made some changes as I think I'm slowly getting the hang of what was going on and I've changed the original link and I've added it here in case anyone wants to see if there is an improvement  :D

Lyrically, I didn't see a problem with rhyming laugh and epitaph to be honest even though they might be somewhat at opposing ends of a scale.  The line in the mid 8 was one of mine I think, I wanted to get that across as the main message (it's common so look out for it and then do something about it) so running it across two musical phases rather than splitting it into 2 lines made sense.

It has been one of the hardest songs to get right (not least because of the upgrade!) as the subject matter was so important, hence moving some of the lines around, but also using the light and shade of the song to communicate the message.

Glad you liked it!
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: kafla on November 26, 2020, 05:41:37 PM
It's a great song honest...

You might not like it but I love the "male ambient vocal" setting which can be found in legacy...vocals within Logic...It's very good at bringing a vocal delivery to life ;D
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: PeteS on November 26, 2020, 06:57:00 PM
Don't worry, I can tell you like it!  I'll check out the Male Ambient Vocal as well.  I say on every song bthat vocals are the biggest struggle not just singing them but mixing them as well.
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: adamfarr on November 27, 2020, 01:10:10 AM
Really like this one. I actually really liked "epitaph" - I always like songs that start strong with a statement of what's to come.

Really like the apt fade away at the end too.

The Middle8 is a bit wordy but I think that was important for the song and the whole point is to send a message in a way that makes people pay attention.

The acoustic bubbly backing is great too - all very well judged I think. For me the slightly human vulnerable vocal is better for transmitting the emotion in this case than a really big thick vocal would be. The BVs and synths provide nice support and it all works well for me.
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: MonnoDB on November 27, 2020, 02:08:48 AM
This is such a sad song.. and very impactful.. I think you've done a wonderful job with a very difficult subject.  I think your arrangement and production suit it perfectly.. The chorus is wonderful particularly when you bring in the "such a waste" etc..

So much to love about this.. that lovely acoustic guitar playing stood out for me.. it's wonderfully played.

Bravo @PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588) - I think I said your piano song was my favourite but you've just knocked that one down to second place!

K
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: Wicked Deeds on November 27, 2020, 03:27:52 PM
@PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588),

Such a well structured song.  Really good vocal here.  Well fingerpicked choice of chords.  I would love to hear the subdued fuzz guitar with limited effects. I think that would really enhance your productions.
Lyrically, a difficult subject to write about and brave to do so. 

Well,done

Paul
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: IronKnee on November 28, 2020, 12:49:52 AM
Good songwriting.
Love the performances, and the production is great.
Good stuff!
                              -Tom
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: MichaelA on November 28, 2020, 05:25:07 AM
I liked the delicate guitaring in this and singer songwriter vulnerable vocals. But then there is real punch in the chorus helping you secure the powerful message of the main theme.

That’s the win of this song, the contrast between the delicate parts and the hard hitting parts. Great tension created guys, and assured songcraft on display. Lesser songwriters would have made a right pigs ear of such a sensitive subject. You got the balance just right for me, and got your point across without it being over pushy.

You continue to grow as songwriters and music makers seemingly with every release. Keep bringing the joy!
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: PeteS on November 30, 2020, 03:17:53 AM
@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) Thanks Adam, I think you’ve picked up on everything we wanted to achieve. The vocal especially has been a struggle, both in terms of singing with emotion and then mixing it.  It’s not mixed perfectly but it’s heading in the right direction.

@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) Karen, what can I say to that, thank you so much.

@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) Thanks Paul, it is a difficult subject but the original material felt so important I couldn’t let it go and fortunately, Neil agreed and rose to the challenge.  I’ll take a look at that fuzz guitar but I really wanted to make the big impact as it comes in.

@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) thanks, appreciate the compliments. 

@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) really appreciate the comments. Thankyou so much for the compliments.
Title: Re: Every 90 Minutes!
Post by: Grubstar on December 02, 2020, 09:54:29 PM
HI @PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588)

Lyrically a very sensitive and oh so sad subject matter that you have handled very well.Excellent piece of songwriting, production and arranging very impressive.