The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: IronKnee on November 23, 2020, 05:45:13 AM
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Hi Everyone....I have a new one. A bit of an emotional snapshot in forgiveness.
Hope you all like it.......as always, any and all comments are appreciated, and first impressions are most welcome.
“Once”
Words & Music by Tom Tognaci
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14147534
Once, can be forgiven!
What kind of fool am I!
What kind of fool am I?
Who makes mountains high
Against the vast blue sky?
Who’d make the world feel small
Just to hear my cry?
Once, I had forgotten
How to forgive with time
What kind of man am I
If I can’t turn time
If I can’t rewind
If I can’t let go
To put it all behind?
What Kind of man am I?
What Kind of man am I?
What Kind of man am I?
What Kind of man am I?
Once, we were as lovers
Two mirrored souls in love
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Today is a nostalgic day, Christmas is coming and... your song has caused me to breathe melancholy ...
Precious song of sadness and questions towards oneself ...
I really like this phrase @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
Who makes mountains high
Against the vast blue sky?
Cuídate
Mora
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Hi Tom,
Loving the vibe.
My very first thought is the vocal sounds a little too far removed from the guitar.
Interestingly when you let rip on the "What kind of man am I " part the vocal falls back and the guitar seems louder.
Very nice song. really like the genuine desperation in it.
Digger
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Really nice tune! I love how you let it rip like that in the chorus.
Relative to @digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823) 's comment.......I agree that there is a bit of a disconnect between the vocal and the guitar. You might consider busing the vocal to a stereo delay that is very judiciously applied.
None of that affected how much I enjoyed this one.
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I don't think I've ever heard you get so emotional in a song before. I'm impressed! Levels seem a bit off here and there but otherwise, I have no nits. Nice to hear something from you. It's been too long.
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@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) offt thats hit me right in the chest! What a beautiful song! Nice lyrics but just you and the guitar gave this so much more! Loved it! Really did enjoy it:)
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Hi @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
I really enjoyed this beautiful but sad acoustic guitar ballad, you have a really outstanding voice that delivers your heartfelt lyrics perfectly. A great song with great lyrics regarding forgiveness, lost love and possible past betrayals, great work.
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Today is a nostalgic day, Christmas is coming and... your song has caused me to breathe melancholy ...
Precious song of sadness and questions towards oneself ...
I really like this phrase @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
Who makes mountains high
Against the vast blue sky?
Cuídate
Mora
Hi M...
Thanks soooo much for listening and commenting...........It's always nice to hear from you.
Thanks, again!!
-T
Hi Tom,
Loving the vibe.
My very first thought is the vocal sounds a little too far removed from the guitar.
Interestingly when you let rip on the "What kind of man am I " part the vocal falls back and the guitar seems louder.
Very nice song. really like the genuine desperation in it.
Digger
Hi Digger.......Thanks for stopping by...........the song was written, and then promptly played and recorded. The recording is always a mystery, as to how it will turn out.
But, I sure appreciate you taking the time to listen and comment!!
Thanks...........
-T
Really nice tune! I love how you let it rip like that in the chorus.
Relative to @digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823) 's comment.......I agree that there is a bit of a disconnect between the vocal and the guitar. You might consider busing the vocal to a stereo delay that is very judiciously applied.
None of that affected how much I enjoyed this one.
Thanks UL..........it is a pleasure to hear from you. Thanks!!!
And thanks to all who have listened!
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I don't think I've ever heard you get so emotional in a song before. I'm impressed! Levels seem a bit off here and there but otherwise, I have no nits. Nice to hear something from you. It's been too long.
Thanks Vickie.............I wish I was good at recording....but sadly, not to the point as to actually work at mastering it ;-)
Thanks again....and nice to hear from you!
@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) offt thats hit me right in the chest! What a beautiful song! Nice lyrics but just you and the guitar gave this so much more! Loved it! Really did enjoy it:)
thanks Sebandme..........that means alot.....I really appreciate those words.
Thanks for commenting and listening!!
Hi @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
I really enjoyed this beautiful but sad acoustic guitar ballad, you have a really outstanding voice that delivers your heartfelt lyrics perfectly. A great song with great lyrics regarding forgiveness, lost love and possible past betrayals, great work.
Thanks you so much, Grubstar...........I really appreciate the comment.
Thanks!! You made my day!!
And thanks to all who have listened!
-Tom
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@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) Loving the guitar work and emotion in the vocal. Love it when it really cranks up as well.
Also liked that when it finished All by myself started. Another corker of yours!
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The song is a kind of throwback to classic singer songwriting from the sixties, very delicate to start along with a lovely melody. This gives you the perfect setting to explode a bit, which you do very well too. I’d only have liked it to be longer.
Lovely atmosphere captured, very artistic and sensitive 👍
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Agree with @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) Here Tom. This one is a real throwback to the 60's which is no bad thing whatsoever. Lovely picking and guitar tone. I love to hear that fret noise, makes it feel real. Fabulous melody and expertly delivered @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
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Excellent work @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
You play the guitar like I do in my dreams...love the lyrics...there's a few well worn phrases in there but you put a fresh twist on them to steer them away from cheese...
Great vocal delivery :-)
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Sad songs tonight on the forum.. this is an emotional shot - short and sharp. Beautifully written and delivered.. just perfect..
K
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@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) wow! Great vocal performance, you have an amazing variation in power of delivery between the intimate up close and when you’re really letting rip! Set against a lovely guitar track... the melody adds a great deal to the lyrics, the rather abrupt ending somehow gives a real sense of loneliness too which is very effective 👍
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@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
Such atmospheric guitar. Gives the impression that's the production has many more instruments than there is. A beautiful ntrospective song that's builds so well with a single instrument and voice. A real skill.
I think that you should steer this one home with an ending befitting of the rest of this lovely gem!
Well done
Paul
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@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) Loving the guitar work and emotion in the vocal. Love it when it really cranks up as well.
Also liked that when it finished All by myself started. Another corker of yours!
Thanks PeteS.........I really appreciate the kind words!!
The song is a kind of throwback to classic singer songwriting from the sixties, very delicate to start along with a lovely melody. This gives you the perfect setting to explode a bit, which you do very well too. I’d only have liked it to be longer.
Lovely atmosphere captured, very artistic and sensitive 👍
And thank you very much.....I appreciate your stopping by!
Agree with @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) Here Tom. This one is a real throwback to the 60's which is no bad thing whatsoever. Lovely picking and guitar tone. I love to hear that fret noise, makes it feel real. Fabulous melody and expertly delivered @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
Hi Pompy..........always nice seeing you...........and thanks for the support!!
Excellent work @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
You play the guitar like I do in my dreams...love the lyrics...there's a few well worn phrases in there but you put a fresh twist on them to steer them away from cheese...
Great vocal delivery :-)
Thanks Kafla.............I appreciate your listening and commenting!!
Thanks, again!
-Tom
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@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
Such atmospheric guitar. Gives the impression that's the production has many more instruments than there is. A beautiful ntrospective song that's builds so well with a single instrument and voice. A real skill.
I think that you should steer this one home with an ending befitting of the rest of this lovely gem!
Well done
Paul
Thanks Paul!!
I appreciate the support!!!
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Sad songs tonight on the forum.. this is an emotional shot - short and sharp. Beautifully written and delivered.. just perfect..
K
Thanks, Man!!
@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) wow! Great vocal performance, you have an amazing variation in power of delivery between the intimate up close and when you’re really letting rip! Set against a lovely guitar track... the melody adds a great deal to the lyrics, the rather abrupt ending somehow gives a real sense of loneliness too which is very effective 👍
Thank you very much for the kind words......I appreciate the support!!
And thanks to all who have listened!
-Tom
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Tom,
you draw us in with the quiet emotion of an assassin and then let it build slowly.
Very clever and raw.
Clearly a man in charge of his craft
:-)
neil
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Tom,
you draw us in with the quiet emotion of an assassin and then let it build slowly.
Very clever and raw.
Clearly a man in charge of his craft
:-)
neil
Hey Neil.............an emotional assassin, eh? Love it!!!
Thanks for the kind words and the support!!
It's always a pleasure to hear from you!
Thanks again,
-Tom
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Love your voice Tom great dreamy sound as well definitely my cup of tea :-)
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Love your voice Tom great dreamy sound as well definitely my cup of tea :-)
Hey thanks Muso, I really appreciate you taking the time!!
And thanks to all who have listened!
-Tom
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@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
I have never heard you write a less than brilliant song and this is no exception. I love the stripped back, simple arrangement and your direct, impact full lyrics. Beautifully sung and I like the way I can hear your breathing as you sing. This makes it so real and personal. What a lovely thing this is.
M