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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Wicked Deeds on November 18, 2020, 03:48:50 AM

Title: Who
Post by: Wicked Deeds on November 18, 2020, 03:48:50 AM
I simply want to get back to writing songs that remind me that I know how to write.  This one is finished and I won't revisit to make any adjustment. Time is simply too precious to keep working on the same song when there are hundreds more waiting to be written. 

From my time away trying to understand the current trajectory of my life.  I was thinking about the big, big picture, inclusive of the end of life, something that I have contemplated so many times. What will happen?  I wondered, who will come to welcome me.  We try to spread love and happiness but we are human and despite our best efforts, we hurt others regardless of our feelings for them. I'm going to be honest and say that I have spent all of my life trying to understand the relationship between my Dad and I.  I believe that I will go to the grave believing that he hated me and nothing will ever change that.  I just wanted to love him and to learn from him. Instead, I have travelled through this life, trying to work out the best way forward without the guidance of someone who might have made a tremendous difference.  My Dad passed away several years ago.  I spent twenty years grieving for him in his absence and then I grieved all over again when he died.  I was thinking, who will come to welcome me when my time is up?  I guess it was a reflection of how I felt during my absence from the songwriter forum. This song was borne from those thoughts.  If it's my Dad who comes to welcome me, that will surely take me by surprise.  The emotion in the lyric "Don't tear me down" really is a plea for a different relationship should we be granted a second chance.

https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1/paul-who-mastered

Who

Who will come to welcome me
when the sun has shut her eyes?
Who will whisper words of love
that take me by surprise?

I always tried to be the one
to put you more at ease.
to comfort you, to make you smile
until it brought me to my knees.

Who will come to welcome me,
to tell me I belong.
We all are made imperfectly;
To some degree we're wrong.

I always tried to be the one
to put you more at ease.
to comfort you, to make you smile
until it brought me to my knees.

I often feel there's something more,
Behind the screen, beyond the door.
Don't tear me down.
Beyond the door, don't tear me down.

Who will come to welcome me
when the sun has shut her eyes?
Who will whisper words of love
that take me by surprise.

Written by Paul Vasey November 2020
Title: Re: Who
Post by: CaliaMoko on November 18, 2020, 09:32:05 PM
Interesting, reflective, meditative. Good one to put on when one is contemplating life...and death. I really liked the strings a lot.
Title: Re: Who
Post by: Neil C on November 18, 2020, 10:10:43 PM
Nice mid paced number. I think Vicki said it well, reflective.
Simple and direct, I liked the backing especially the strings.
I did read your notes... and felt how complicated relationships can be, all we can do is to try and deal with past and importantly doing the right stuff for those important people in our lives.
Thanks fir sharing.
Stay well and keep creative
:-)
Neil
Title: Re: Who
Post by: moraamarolaloba on November 18, 2020, 10:14:50 PM
Hola @Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231)

Time is Life but it is also that sharp pendulum that goes down towards our head, boom, boom, until it separates our body from our essence, and today we contemplate it in a different way because now we are more aware that we are finite ...

Reconciling with the father in your case or with the one who has marked us with a wound that always hurts is a liberation and I think that you are now discovering it.

I like the song, not only because of the sincerity and generosity of sharing it but also because it is deep, authentic and very beautiful.

Cuídate!!

Mora

Title: Re: Who
Post by: MonnoDB on November 19, 2020, 05:46:46 AM
Touching and real @Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) .. Love the chorus.. tugs at the heart strings.. Interesting to hear the background to it.. I hope you find peace with that.. Not easy.. But what a beautiful way to deal with those emotions.. Wonderful, @Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231)  and welcome back :)

K
Title: Re: Who
Post by: MichaelA on November 19, 2020, 10:30:38 PM
A very lovely song, Paul, with a difficult background story that you were very brave and honest in sharing.

The backing track itself is very sweet, with the restrained strings, then contrasting with that more muscular and emotive guitar in the chorus. Vocal melody and singing great throughout, esp that ‘tear me down’ bit, which I did hoped to hear more of.

Great share mate, and welcome back to these boards!
Title: Re: Who
Post by: Unclenny on November 20, 2020, 07:42:15 PM
Pretty powerful back story. The song definitely takes that story in a different direction......

Great sound and moving lyrics and performance.
Title: Re: Who
Post by: man made material on November 20, 2020, 08:25:28 PM
Some very thoughtful, heartfelt and thought provoking lyrics,
 ‘ We all are made imperfectly, To some degree we're wrong.’ is a really great line!
Title: Re: Who
Post by: adamfarr on November 20, 2020, 08:55:53 PM
Love the guitars in this - slightly off-kilter in the intro and more conventionally moody in the chorus.

There's a sadness all through here - perhaps realising somewhere that there are most likely no do-overs and no welcoming...

I felt like there should be more - perhaps there's not much more story to tell but musically I could have definitely enjoyed another chorus.

Lots of depth here - the sun shutting her eyes is a really memorable line. Tough subjects but great to have you back around.   
Title: Re: Who
Post by: pompeyjazz on November 21, 2020, 03:16:22 AM
Very heartfelt Paul. Such a lovely backing track complimented by your superb vocals. Absolutely top drawer
Title: Re: Who
Post by: Sebandme on November 21, 2020, 03:26:41 AM
@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) beautiful song! Great lyrics. I really liked the strings. The verse with "dont tear me down" in it was excellent! Well done :) and thankyou for sharing :D
Title: Re: Who
Post by: montydog on November 21, 2020, 07:33:06 PM
@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231)
A very beautifully written song sung with real conviction and tenderness. I can absolutely sympathise with you in your relationship with your father. Every father/son relationship is different but I could hear echoes of my own issues in your preamble. Songwriting should be about the things we can't express in any other way and I think you consistently achieve that. This is another exceptional example of your talent.
Title: Re: Who
Post by: kafla on November 26, 2020, 02:39:18 PM
Great intro mate with the almost poppy backing and discordant guitar...sets the whole thing up beautifully...

It builds beautifully but gradually at just the right pace and that M8 is gorgeous  8)

Like a lot of your songs, its taken me a few listens to appreciate it but the best ones always do ;)
Title: Re: Who
Post by: rightly on November 26, 2020, 02:54:37 PM
you're an incredible songwriter!
consistent
I imagine an album of yours must be a very heartwarming experience.

This song is another favorite from you

Thanks for sharing
Title: Re: Who
Post by: Wicked Deeds on November 27, 2020, 07:38:12 PM
Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to post a review.  It always amazes me how songs continue to be written over the years. After a while writers do run out of new themes that's they feel strongly enough to write about.  However, I believe that we can explore different ways of conveying our message until something really captures our interest and stirs our imagination. At a time when. I was losing my musical direction a little, I seemed to discover 4 songs that I went on to produce in a three week period. I think that I am now beginning to regain  my faith in My writing ability.

Thank you

Paul
Title: Re: Who
Post by: LostBoy on November 28, 2020, 12:14:23 AM
Hey Paul,

I really like the melody on this one mate and I especially love the way you sing "don't tear me down!" It contrasts nicely with the soft way you sing the rest.
I hope things pick up for you...in the meantime this is a great way to vent through your music. Great job as always.😁🎶👊🏻🎶
Title: Re: Who
Post by: IronKnee on November 28, 2020, 12:42:22 AM
An infectious rhythm.......a nice atmosphere in the sound. The string are a great touch!!
Good stuff..........
                                          -Tom