The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pompeyjazz on November 16, 2020, 06:52:31 PM
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Wanted to something a bit darker and different this time so it's back to those wailing guitars and pumping drums. This started off as a bass riff idea and I built the song around that. I sent the original idea to Cécile who came up with the lyrics and vocals. It was still missing that little something though structure wise I thought so I threw in a crazy M8 section. It all came together in a couple of days :)
Drums - Ezdrummer
Guitars - Guitar Rig amp sims
Synths - Nexus
Trouble
Trouble,
We are in trouble
Through all of these years
What is a normal life ?
Oh ! They lied
Is there something to hide ?
They caused the trauma
They have stolen our life
We live in a fake world
We are fried
Is there anything real in our life?
Because They caused the trauma
We live in a crazy world
Disease, pollution and oppression
And they lied
Is democracy in danger?
They caused the trauma
We own our souls
We own our thoughts
We were fried
Do we have to fight for freedom?
Because They caused the trauma
There’s something wrong
In this insane world
Humanity has to evolve
To Embrace a new life
Let’s Build a new dimension
Let’s Define our values
Apologize for their crimes
Now we have to be free
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What a cool production. The instrumentation creates a perfect backdrop for the lyrics and that great vocal performance. And that wild M8 is just right for this song.
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Oohh yes. I'll give this one a spin very loud next time I need to strip some wallpaper...it's a blistering assault on all the shit going down.
I think we'll look back on this period as being a watershed moment. Watershed Down, probably.
The funny thing is that it's the oldest trick in the book...the old one-two...whereby they terrify you with the bogey man (Corbyn, Trump, C19 etc) and then offer you a far more palatable choice (Boris/Starmer, Biden/Harris, The Needle) that turns out to be even more sinister and ghastly. The trick being that you won't allow yourself to acknowledge that you've been suckered...and by the time you figure it out, your fate is sealed. Two cheeks of the same arse, some might say...but I'm generally of the opinion that the powers that be only seek to destroy those who might conceivably endanger their nefarious schemes...the others, who can be relied upon to obey, sail through into high office on the shoulders of morons.
I think I mentioned on one of the Zoom calls about the irony of sheep living their whole lives in fear of the wolf...so they got herded around by a sheepdog without realising that it's the shepherd who fleeces them on a regular basis and then, when it best suits him, has them for dinner.
Vocals are brilliant, great lyrics and I love that bassline!
And that middle 8 is off the scale!
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Whoa!!! LOVE THAT SOUND! Great heavy guitars leading into a dark vocal by CeMz... Spectacular!!
Fantastic lyrics.. super vocals.. it's the mood of the whole thing with the heavy guitars and brooding bass that makes it for me.. And again WHOA the M8!
Absolutely a.w.e.s.o.m.e!!
K
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nice one
John that is rather dark from you
interesting production and arrangement
Where do you get these Ideas?
nicely done
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Wow that was unexpected! I loved the organised chaos in this, and the dark mood is very immersive. Ce Mz sounds very sexy with that moody vocal, it’s electrifying really!
The M8 is a completely original knockout. Who else does that? Stunning!
Definitely one of my favourites of yours and of you both. Knocked me for six - and once I had regained consciousness I think I really liked it and was ready to go again! :D
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The middle 8 is bonkers but fits perfectly with the rest of the song. As always with you @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) the production is superb & I like the lyrics. How you can create this sound in a small amount of time is beyond me.
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Love it John, Wailing guitars? What's not to like ;D. Cécile's vocals are superb as wever and production is first class, so wide! Good work.
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@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611) Thanks so much - Glad that you thought that it all fitted together
@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) - I hope you managed to get that wallpaper removed Paul - I always enjoy your stories - The sheep story is very apt. Really appreciate your compliments :)
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) Thanks Karen, it's nice to do something dark and moody after my last happy clappy song :) Really appreciate your feedback, I'm bowled over
@rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) Thank you so much - Who knows where our ideas come from. You have some pretty damn good ones of your own :)
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) - Ah ! Like to keep you on your toes young Mr A. I don't really know how I came to that middle 8, but all it really is is a scale and a matter of throwing in some fairly mad drums :)
@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535) Cheers Larses - Bonkers will do me for sure :) I was genuinely surprised how quickly this song came together as well
@PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588) Cheers Pete - Will have to see if I can give those wailing guitars another spin :)
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An enormous soundscape. Sinister melody and backing. I've followed your work closely whilst I've been away and concluded that you are both a great songwriting pair. Lyrically, it certainly reflects my own thoughts. I feel like life is often a rollercoaster. Someone's once said to me that's she would arrive in the afterlife, flying in by the seat of her pants screaming wow, I want to do that's again This was despite some very difficult experiences already endured here on earth. I can't help but wonder, where does that enthusiasm and lust for life spring from? That lady is one in a million an dI wish her live and happiness in this life and the next. I'd come back again but I pray to the universe for a much easier ride next time 'round!
Quality writing as usual and thought provoking too.
Paul
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Hello, Just a word to say a big thank you to everyone :)
I will try to be more connected, go, listen and try to comment on the forum
bonne soirée
Cécile
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I forgot to say...... This song and 11 other collaborations with Cécile, all written between August and November this year are now available on an album - Free download on Bandcamp for you lovely peeps :) :)
https://starcrossed20.bandcamp.com/album/heart-rebellion
:) :)
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Fabulously sinister and ... traumatic. Love how you have everything working together here to serve that theme. So original (and actually melodic and catchy). Great work again you two.
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Well...uffda (if you speak Minnesotan). This is awesome. This would be perfect for some dystopian movie....
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Hola @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) and Cecile.
It seems that something is affecting many of us and the songs that appear on the forum come wrapped in paper of the deep.
The instrumentation and delay on the voice gives it a dark, tragic vibe, and I think that's what you wanted to achieve, good job!!
Stay safe
Mora
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You’ve really captured the angst I’m feeling at the moment, the production sounds great, particularly the drums... the echoing ‘trouble’ motif has a great disturbing, unnerving effect also, emphasis the feeling of not being in control... as someone else mentioned that middle 8 - it’s epic!
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"Don't let it bring you down, it's only castles burning" is what this congers up for me. I do like a bit of bleakness and wailing in the dark. Great vocals and you have managed to reinforce the air of menace effectively with the soundscape and on top of that, the echoing backing vocals are fabulous. So much imagination and innovation - where do you get it from?
Brilliant.
M
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Hi @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) @Melusine2 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22580)
This is absolutely brilliant such an epic sinister sound and the vocals and lyrics are 1st class. I loved the dark brooding production,menacing guitars and the middle 8 is inspired. One of your best collaborations so far in my opinion. Loved it!
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Your top quality John, everything you do is so well balanced, mixed, written and produced...I not just saying that!
Ive said before but I love CeMz's vocals but what a platform you have given her here...Trippy Portishead beats and fragments...
Its like a firework display on my headphones lol
Love it!!!!
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Hey there Pompy..............a dark sound, and a bit disturbing on a subconscious level.
A powerful atmosphere..........who is singing?
An interesting production......Home studio stuff?
Good stuff, man!!
-Tom
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@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269)
Well you hit the dissonance spot like going on a drugged fuelled ghost train!
The chords and arrangements make you reach for a something to hold on as you go on the woozy journey that really matches the lyrics.
Sharp work
:-)
neil