The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: 5 guys named Lars on October 28, 2020, 10:18:02 AM
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Hello everybody, :) Here is a (hopefully) uplifting song about being overwhelmed. Hope you like it.
Put Your Hands Up !!
Put Your Hands Up, put your hands up, put your hands up, put your hands together & scream.
It's the year 2021.
It can`t be worse than last year but I might be wrong..
I've grown accustomed to my mask so it's staying on..it might disguise me.
God knows its going to get better..it couldn`t get much worse !
I´m at the end of my tether & driving in reverse.
Put Your Hands Up, put your hands up, put your hands up, put your hands together & scream.
Straight from the mouth that bites me "10000 for your thoughts!"
Its strange I always try to play with things that can`t be bought.
Overslept through my wake up call..I`d been dreaming I was strapped to a cannonball.
When I woke up I discovered that it hadn`t been a dream at all.
Put Your Hands Up, put your hands up, put your hands up, put your hands together & scream.
You say its going to get better?
I know my race is run.
You think I`m under the weather? I`m trying to find a gun.
Asking for help`s not a weakness.
Its not that easy when you`re proud but when you`re up all night sleepless.
Its time to shout it out loud !
Put Your Hands Up, put your hands up, put your hands up, put your hands together & scream.
Take your wishes & fly.
What originally started as a rap (?!) inspired by one of those US reality cop shows , started as a bile ridden ode for our magnificent leaders . Thankfully @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) said he would produce it for me & thinking about the homeless ,the lyrics changed to about getting overwhelmed (sometimes its all I can do to put the bins out at night ) but I wanted to make a song about depression/oppression sound joyous. Put your Hands Up can represent surrender but also solidarity & defiance.
As its only 3 chords I added a few riffs & noodles & ended up with a very basic home recording with 38 tracks! ;D..no jiggery & certainly no pokery, and gratefully handed them over to John @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269). I can`t say much about the production because his notes cover 3 pages & John did explain what he did & I still don`t understand it. ;D What I do know is that John transformed a very basic home recording dirge into a full scale production thing..very much what I heard in my head & just what I wanted. He added excellent backing vocals & loads of instruments & I`m very grateful to him & his brilliance.
The lyrics are nothing special..took the line "Straight from the mouth that bites me" from a John Lennon interview I heard. Its the best line in there & he`s been dead for 40 years, the swine ! Anyway, hope you can listen & be careful out there.
(At the time of writing its got 5 likes & 0 plays..gotta love Soundcloud! ;D )
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Hey dude, I’m digging this cool sound, you’re like smash in’ it, know what I’m saying. I can get you 10,000 SoundCloud plays. Just check out the link in my profile and you will WIN.
..Ah yes, Soundcloud is much fun! ;D
But hey dude, I really am digging this cool song! The rhythm of it, set off by that percussion frenzy makes it a real foot tapper from the off. The chorus hook line is very memorable. OK you might have repeated it 209 times, but yeah it would have been memorable with even less repetition!
It’s a great idea, this joyous production accompanying lyrics about someone going through a tough time. The mad contrast really drives your idea home, but I could imagine this being played in a club or on the radio and people singing along mindlessly, just enjoying the infectious fun element to it, maybe oblivious to its darker side.
The production is a proper wall of sound, very dynamic and imaginative, and the backing vocals by @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) really add something to the punch of it all.
Really loved this song, full of personality and charm. Bit of a winner, mate!
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@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535) @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269)
Hi, well, all 5 of you were busy there, a lot going on ;)! A very British sounding recording, can't put my finger on what its evocative of..... ;D Enjoyed it, a nice acerbic lyric without overplaying it. A really different sound, but it worked!
Nice one guys!
Cheers
Jamie
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You should have heard the original 25 minute version with the 10 extra chorus`s @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) ;D ..probably a wise idea by Pompey Jazz to edit it down to 4 minutes. :D
Its the neighbours I feel sorry for. Cries of "Put em down, you prick!!" were regularly heard over the fence from next door throughout October. ;D . Cheers Michael.
Thanks for listening @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) & the nice comments. :)
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What a pleasure to be able to work on this fab track with the Larses @5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535) Yeah - 21 minutes of out takes lying on the cutting room floor. I just loved the energy and imagination that Chris had put into this track and had a whole heap of fun working on it. It was quite interesting as I made some production notes as I went along, which is something that I hardly ever do. Quite happy to post them if anyone is interested :)
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I made some production notes as I went along, which is something that I hardly ever do. Quite happy to post them if anyone is interested :)
I’d like to know about how you got that riotous drum sound, so yep from me. Plus I’d like to know more about the Scouse Accent Suppression Plug-In. 😀
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There's something very boy band ish about this - I can see you all on stage (lingering complicit looks, quasi-religious gestures, one goes down on their haunches occasionally, ripped jeans and massive trainers everywhere) and Simon loving it.
It's exciting all through (should out to PJ's production). Great to hear your real voice come through. Lyrics are really consistently great - it's easy to just let it all run over you but it really bears some close listening.
I'd tone the guitar back a bit and bring the lead vocal up a bit but this is a really modern tune with a catchy chorus and great writing all round.
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@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) The Scouse Accent Suppression VST (SAS) Is one of my go to plugins, although I have only really used the "Sounds a bit like a Brummie" preset before. I did struggle at first as I was accidently using the "East Lancs" preset but some subtle manipulation on the "Lah" setting seemed to work wonders.
For those who are interested (and for those who ain't) for what it's worth, here are my production notes :)
Session 1
1.Import into Reaper
2.Bass amp on Bass (Going to re-record this later)
3.Brighten up acoustics
4.Panning
5. Some reverb on synths / strings
6. High pass filter on strings
7. Group vocals together / Different FX on lead / bv's
8. Nylon Guitar FX on track 29
9. More clout on drums
10. First mastering
11. Magic switch on piano on doubles up tracks L / R
Session 2
1. Read Chris' notes !!
2. Analyse all tracks (listen)
3. Re-tracked bass
4. 4 / 5 / 6 / 38 Magic switch and stereo expansion + reverb
5. Added 2 midi keyboard pads - Just chords
6. Twiddled with vocals
Session 3,4,5,6
1. Dropped some instruments to start with to create "Build"
2. Some BV's
3. Bass drum down a bit
4. Tried to equalise vocals
5. Some Turkish bongo - Never tried this before
6. Party noise
7. More party atmos
8. EQ High pass on some keys to make them sound a bit brighter
Session 7
1. Run Neutron elements on some tracks - Drums / Bass
2. Listen to mix in mono
3. Some tweaks to EQ after listening to Mono mix
4. Some delay on Keys
5. Mastering
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Love the way this kicks off - grabs the attention..
Really good lyrics @5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535) - very well written.. Really like the verse melody - very catchy - as is of course that chorus.. Great BVs and whoops in the background - so much going on but nicely clear - I can hear lots but it doesn't distract.. that energy after "and scream" is fab.. And the contrast between upbeat music and serious lyric works really well.
A big hit for me! Great work both of you!
K
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Yeah, brilliant @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269). I will definitely get that app after your detailed endorsement. :D
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@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535)
Your song has made me have a good time. Anyway I wanted to comment on what I perceive in my headphones;
the backing could have a little less volume, especially the volume of the percussion ... and give more clarity to the voices.
For the rest I put my hands up
Love the lyrics!
Stay safe
Mora
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Hi
"The lyrics are nothing special"
I thought the lyrics were good:
Overslept through my wake up call..I`d been dreaming I was strapped to a cannonball.
When I woke up I discovered that it hadn`t been a dream at all
Bang on the money for me. Perhaps could have used "wrecking ball" as the world is being wrecked - but i suppose Miley got there first. :D
Good song and excellent collaboration.
Digger
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Wowee! Love it! Certainly expresses the present time. Very catchy, tapped my foot all the way through. Kinda wanted to sing along but didn't so I'd be sure to hear it all clearly. Excellent. Ought to be playing everywhere. I have no nits. If there were any, I was too caught up in the song to notice.
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Brilliant fun and very infectious...loved this!
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Thanks for the lovely comments & the good feedback guys. I really appreciate it.
Thank you @adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) ..the ripped jeans are no problem but if I got down on my haunches I`d never get up again. ;D . I got my first electric guitar while making this so maybe overused it a bit but to be fair putting my vocals higher in the mix isn´t doing anyone any favours. ;D .Thanks for the kind words.
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) I´ll have you know I`m from Chester & we speak dead proper up there. :D
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) Thank you Karen. Yes my idea of mixing is just turning things up or down :D but @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) (amongst other things)moved the tracks round so you can hear the lot & I think his backing vocals are the best thing about it.
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) Thank you Mora for the feedback. :) As I said to Adam, the best thing to do with my vocals is to hide them. ;D
@digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823) Thanks dig. Yes you`re right..wrecking ball would have been better..you rotter !! ;D
@CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928) Thank you for your kind comments..glad you liked it. :)
@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) Cheers Paul..appreciate it. Now start writing some new songs you lazy bastard !! :D
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When you press play on one of your songs Chris you never know what will come next...
This is a full on audio assault...but a good assault lol
Extremely hooky with an amazing lyric...the chorus is so catchy...catchier than...well let’s not go there 😌
Very feel good catchy pop expertly presented 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
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@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535)
enjoying the funky groove and the dead catchy insistent chorus. And the repeating guitar motif.
Has a great collective feel to it
:-)
neil
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Hi Guys
I’m a bit late to the party with this one but WHAT A PARTY! This is hands down (or up) my fave forum song this year. No disrespect to any of the other songs I’ve reviewed, but this one has so much personality, groove and infectious melody that you can’t hep being wholly won over by it. Definitely should be a hit single and I would promote this heavily if you are that way inclined.
Well done all. Vocals, bass and beat are all perfect. Cheers Micky
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@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535)
Hey Chris,
There's always a market for songs that's are as catchy as this. It's accessible to all. I can hear the pompeyjazz contributions and they work to great effect. Lovely production. I really enjoyed the simple yet very effective musical motifs and delightful break down of instrument that occasionally lay the track almost bare, providing a wonderful contrast. One to market for sure!
Well done.
Paul
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@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535) @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) - Love this track, guys. Great atomsphere and hook with hints of 21 Pilots. I have some minor suggestions, but based on the fact that I was accused of 'sticking the boot in' for an innocous comment by another member, I will refrain from commenting as such from here on in.
Superb job though, guys.
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) - if I read you correctly, Scousers of the world unite, lah!! I assume you are of THE faith ;)
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@BassPlayerPete (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22732) I'm a Cov Kid in Portsmouth :) Although there are a few guys from the Liverpool area on the forum :)
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Ah, sorry @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) for the misunderstanding. At least we're both far from our roots!! Hope you're having a good Saturday.