The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Beebeesmith on October 21, 2020, 08:24:43 PM
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Hi all
don’t believe there is a big fan base for a Country type song on here but thought I’d give it a go.
Thank you in anticipation for any feedback and although this is a finished song any feedback may well help with further compositions.
BB
VERSE ONE
My breaking heart
That ain’t nothing new
Hurting from a love
That’s fallen through
I was just a fool
To think she would be true
(She was) Turning heads
On every avenue
CHORUS
Rosealee
She’s so fine to see
Another woman I can’t live without
Rosealea
Will you marry me
Couldn’t stop the words
From spilling out…Rosealee
VERSE TWO
Story of my life
Wanna make ‘em all my wife
Last count Rose
Was my number three
Well, I should’ve learnt by now
That beauty doesn’t count
But plain and simple
Didn’t work for me
Whoo hoo hoo
CHORUS
Rosealea
She’s so fine to see
Another woman I can’t live without
Rosealee
Will you marry me
Couldn’t stop the words
From spilling out…Rosealee
BRIDGE 1
I should heed the words from my old man
Beauty may bring problems, son
Avoid it where you can
Like Rosealee
INSTRUMENTAL
BRIDGE 2
I’ve worked it out
What I need to find
An ex-beauty queen
Just past her prime
CHORUS
Rosealea
Never meant to be
Realized that I was in too deep
Rosealee
It’s time for me
To find a pretty woman I can keep
Keep, keep…Rosealee
Rosealea
Rosealee
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Hey @Beebeesmith (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22341) You're wrong. Country is big on this forum. Check out the latest forum challenge :) I liked this. Reminded me of some stuff that Dwight Yokam did. Well put together and produced and love that guitar sound. Well done and welcome. Feel free to jump in and review a few songs. The more you put into it, the more you will get out of it :)
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Hi
thank you for kicking off “the more you put into it, the more you will get out” ain’t that the truth 😁. I have been popping in and out for some time and have left a couple of reviews but yes it’s definitely the food of forums and I will.
BB
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Very polished stuff and a very enjoyable listen. I really enjoyed a lot of the minor chords thrown in there and the neat chopping guitar work.
Video is excellent too...I've noticed quite a few people posting videos lately...definitely a great thing to be able to do to support the song and get it a bit more exposure.
Way to go, cowboy or something :)
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Thank you Paul for listening and your kind comments. The video is made from free clips available on the Interweb, takes a bit of time and the help from my son. 👍
BB
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Very accomplished playing BB. I could have done with your voice on my country challenge..I need to do more push ups or something. Very nice. :)
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Hi guys
thanks for the thumbs up, I can take credit or critique for most everything that you can hear but sadly not the vocals. You won’t and wouldn’t want to hear my voice, just the music and melody man.
Cheers
BB
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First up - what a voice! what a voice!
Excellent balanced mix...
Now the writing... shes so fine to me, will you marry me - chord /melody change her changes everything and lifts this to a hit for me! Its interstellar hooky! Can I steal it? :-*
And 2 middle eights- wow!
I cant say anything more other than I love this! very well done ;)
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Hi Kafla
you are very generous with your review. I’ve been looking in on the site for a long while and must say the quality of material submitted is first class.. I recognise the names of members who have responded so far as really good song writers so I’m pleased the song has some approval.
(I so wish it was my voice but sadly not) The upshot of not being much of a singer is I use different vocalists so the songs are inclined to sound a little more varied by default.
BB
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No fan base for county BB? Sooo wrong! Not my main genre of choice but it's in my top 3 especially the more modern country, all those guitars, what's not to like.
A bit like this song! Great guitar work, great tune, loved the lyrics and as @Kafla pointed out, a mid 16 ;D
Loved it!
Oh and I see we get our video clips from the same source ;) Liked the video thoiugh, I've done about 3, way too time consuming for me!
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Hi @Beebeesmith (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22341), I was disappointed at the lack of ABBA in this song. Oh well. ;D Mind it has got a very catchy chorus, a recurrence of many of their great songs.
Love those supporting guitar riffs, very neat and imaginative playing. And the solo is pretty nifty too. Good use of pause and changes of mood in the M8.
To be honest, I don’t know much about Country, but I do think the genre is populated by great musicians, talented singers and smooth productions. This song ticks all three boxes to this non expert. Great listen ;)
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Hola @Beebeesmith (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22341)
Your song and video have made me have a good time. As @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) tells you, country is a style that does not expire, especially with love songs. In my country there are some famous pubs and places that have an audience that is fond of country and dance to it ...
Nice song and production
Mora
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Hi @Beebeesmith (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22341), I was disappointed at the lack of ABBA in this song. Oh well. ;D Mind it has got a very catchy chorus, a recurrence of many of their great songs.
Love those supporting guitar riffs, very neat and imaginative playing. And the solo is pretty nifty too. Good use of pause and changes of mood in the M8.
To be honest, I don’t know much about Country, but I do think the genre is populated by great musicians, talented singers and smooth productions. This song ticks all three boxes to this non expert. Great listen ;)
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) Hahaha ;D ;D ;D
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Hi @Beebeesmith (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22341)
Like others here have said, there's actually a lot of country on the site. It's nowhere near my favourite genre but I do like the odd song or two or hundred.
This was a good one (also the video). Nice to see someone new jumping into the fray. Hope you'll stick around.
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No fan base for county BB? Sooo wrong! Not my main genre of choice but it's in my top 3 especially the more modern country, all those guitars, what's not to like.
A bit like this song! Great guitar work, great tune, loved the lyrics and as @Kafla pointed out, a mid 16 ;D
Loved it!
Oh and I see we get our video clips from the same source ;) Liked the video thoiugh, I've done about 3, way too time consuming for me!
Hi Michael
thank you for listening and taking the time to comment. I don’t know where that came from then, just my impression I quest. This is also my third video and your soooo right it takes forever and that’s with my son doing the clever bit. But I just like to see it and his input helps cover the rent he doesn’t pay 😂
Cheers
BB
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Hey @Beebeesmith (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22341) - great country song! It’s a bit of a theme round here at the moment so good timing 😀!
Very polished playing and production and that chorus is REALLY catchy!!!
Welcome to the forum - look forward to hearing more from you!!
Karen.
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@Beebeesmith (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22341)
Hi, country isn't my favourite genre but I can tell that this is a very good song of the style. Your voice fits beautifully and the guitars sound great too. I must confess that I used to like it when Frank Zappa did a 'country style' as pastiche( eg 'Harder than your husband) ;D ;D
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie