The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: The Estuary (SWE) on October 15, 2020, 11:33:17 AM
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Hello friends!
The Estuary is a small band. One human and one cat. The human does most of the work in the ’studio’, but having the cat around seems to help somehow. I record music on simple equipment and with the least amount of musical or technical skills required (Rec + Play).
Elevated Low is a song about coming out of a dark time in life. I think some of you can relate. It's not intended as a self-pity song. I see it mostly as a positive song because it focuses on healing rather than the bad stuff.
If you have any ideas of improvements – in the songwriting, in the arrangement, in the mixing, anything – please share them.
ELEVATED LOW
I didn’t know what it meant to you
Didn’t mean to ruin it
I keep forgetting myself
Enlightened but vacant
Every word you said is true
That’s who I am
My mind is on something somewhere
Far beyond the light
Elevated low
Everywhere I go
Elevated low
Standing in the cold, soothing flow
Stars delivered as promised
All I ever wanted
Sitting here on my own
Don’t know where this ride takes me
But it’s fine, I’m stronger now
At least I think I am
Time will tell, soon it will
If I can pass the test
Elevated low
Everywhere I go
Elevated low
Standing in the cold, soothing glow
Every word you said was true
’Though I try to deny it
No matter how far I travel
I’m never far from home
Elevated low
Everywhere I go
Elevated low
Standing in the cold, soothing flow
Elevated low
Everywhere I go
Elevated low
Standing in the cold, soothing glow
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Hi
Really enjoyed this.
Love the darkness of the sound but with a slightly uplifting vocal.
I'd be tempted to have that lead guitar line burst out of the track a bit more - give it the limelight at some point - maybe during the keys bridge?
Great overall atmosphere.
Digger
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I am a little partial to a dark song so this was right up my street — as you say there’s positivity there.. lyrics are good - ‘elevated low’ is a great lyrical hook!
Great mood to the whole thing. I very much enjoyed it!
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quite like this, the “ elevated love” is nice and hooky and the song sort of revolves around that which is cool. The instrumental melody is fairly static which means in its current form there isn’t much of a lift to the chorus. The chorus could be punched up a bit musically but if it was me I’d consider stripping the backing in the verse back to almost nothing letting your voice do the work so there is an ever bigger lift to the hooky chorus..
Just how I hear it.
Good work..
BB
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This has got that dark synth vibe. It makes you think of maybe ALT 80's music if you get what I mean. The track is well produced and is sounding great ! Are you having much success with it ? I think it could do quite well
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@The Estuary (SWE) (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22380)
Hi guys, enjoyed this, it had a simple but effective vibe to it. I have a friend who loves shoegaze music, and I could hear this with the full shoegaze treatment 8)
Good song
Cheers
Jamie
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Hola!!
Precious ballad and delicate lyrics, an introspection full of movement.
I like "elevated low" is a very special line @The Estuary (SWE) (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22380)
best wishes to your cat
Mora
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Thank you! I read your comments over and over and relish every word.
@digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823) : That is some valuable piece of advice! I’ve been struggling with the instrumental part of the song and it’s still going nowhere. What you suggested may just be the perfect remedy. Thanks!
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) : Funny thing, that listening to a sad song doesn’t necessarily make you feel sad. Sometimes it’s the opposite. You never know how a song will be received. Every time it happens there’s some kind of magic involved (sorry for going a bit new age on you there...).
@Beebeesmith (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22341) : I think that stripped down version that you’ve envisioned could be very effective. I’m definitely going to try that.
@CharlieSmith (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22647) : Indeeed, sir. Having you guys listening to the song and commenting is plenty of success for me.
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) : I’m not an expert shoegazer but I imagine the song might work in that capacity. If your friend wants to shoegaze this song, he/she is more than welcome...
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) : Hola y muchas gracias! Pippi sends her best.