The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Jamie on October 12, 2020, 12:43:28 PM
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https://soundcloud.com/jamie1802/why-would-you-do-that
Hi all, trying to create an atmospheric soundscape to support a lyric that doesn't tell a story and leaves plenty of room for listeners interpretation. Tried not to use conventional structure/instruments/chord structures? etc. Interested to hear your usual intelligent and insightful comments ;)
Cheers
Jamie
Why would you do that?
I know you've been messing my mind
And why would you do that?
How could you be so unkind?
And why would you do that?
What are you playing at?
And why are you saying that?
Why would you do that?
Is it just another nightmare?
And I'll soon be awake?
I can't do anymore
I can't take anymore
And why would you do that?
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@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125)
This reminded me of Yes. It is open ended and leaves the listener to fill in the gaps. The synths are beautifully done as is your vocal with some really interesting soundscapes which perfectly reflect the mood of the song. A fine example of your abilities as an arranger and producer.
M
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Wow! What a cool atmospheric piece.
Impressive arrangement and production.
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I liked this from the very first note mate...
really diggin the base...the melody line is just perfect
it sounds like one of those great transitional songs that breaks everything up on a classic album.
I always love ambigous lyrics...lots of space for the listener to design their own interpretation.
First class arrangement and production.
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Hi @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125)
Mission accomplished, a really fantastic atmospheric soundscape with great vocals and open lyrics. Absolutely loved the bass
and the 10CC inspired layered backing vocals and swells, all in all a great production job and arrangement, fabulous.
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My favorite part is the backing vocals, but I liked it all. Everything meshed well together for me. And now I'm inspired to try something experimental. Very nice.
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Hola @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125)
Personally I really liked the song, it has space, changes of atmosphere, air, and the voice
is part of the instrumentation 'cause of the melody it plays.
The choruses and FX are very successful, the arrangement has different parts, something that I love and with which I feel very comfortable, natural for me with this style.
It has led me to a time when when listening to the music you closed your eyes and went on a trip, a great way to travel and cheap too hahaha
I would leave it like that, just as it is.
The lyrics ... are questions to the air, so they are integrated.
Stay safe
Mora
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Not Meatloaf then?? :)
Sparse lyrics tell the story perfectly - I like that! Less is more.. The music has tension that matches said story.. As always, lovely rich layers.. Love it when the drums come in... (great drums btw!)..
Lovely vocal @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) ...
No crits.. it's just as polished as I would expect - you are really on a roll.. turning out quality piece after quality piece..
K
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Hi Jamie, this is a really imaginative musical creation of the protagonists tortured mind. The loose structure and the dipping in and out of various themes makes me think of somebody whose head is all over the place. We’ve all been there!
The whole thing is great, but I actually liked the first half better as it was so unusual before it kicked in, a kind of prog rock ballad that was new to my ears at least.
Amazing soundscape, I love all this thought you are putting into this succession of productions, with so much detail for the listener to discover and loads of surprises along the way.
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Hi all, thanks for listening!
@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653)
Hi Alan, thanks for your kind comments. Yes have been mentioned a number of times over the years, but more persistently lately, I take that as a compliment!. Glad you 'got' the atmosphere/emotion I was trying to create.
@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611)
Hi, thanks I think I got the sound I was going for (which is quite unusual for me :P).Glad you enjoyed it!
@kafla (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=6905)
Hi Andy, cool review thank you. It's only fairly recently I've been able to conjure the soundscapes for songs that I could hear in my head. Must have learned something from all the production Yoda's on this forum ;). Pleased you enjoyed it!
Cheers
Jamie
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Hi All, thanks for listening!
@Grubstar (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22532)
Hi, great comments, thanks! I was looking for that 10CC layered vocal sound, glad you spotted it.
@CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928)
Hi Vicki, experimental is good! What have we got to lose? Glad you liked the vocals, mine have gotten better over the years. I like the backing vocals too, they are heavily manipulated, but create an esoteric atmosphere.
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233)
Hi Mora, lovely comments thanks you. Yes, I was using my voice with lots of effects as an instrument. I don't think I've really done that before! I'm glad it transported you, hopefully to a place where the sun is shining! ;D
Thanks again!
Cheers
Jamie
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Hi, thanks for listening!
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820)
Hi Karen, no definitely not Meatloaf! The drums are an apple loop in pro logic, so pretty easy, I think it was my expert crafting of the sound of them that made the difference ;). I'm a big fan of Thom Yorke and he really goes in for sparse, non story telling lyrics. I can only aspire to his majestic level 8). great comments Karen , thanks!
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274)
Hi Michael, lovely comments , you are too kind! Yes, tortured soul was the look I was aiming for. Sparseness works for tortured I think? Glad you enjoyed the soundscape, I've been working hard to try and find new sounds and ingredients to move away from the traditional, guitars, bass and drums backing track. Not that theres anything wrong with that, I'm sure I'll be back there at some point, but it's fun and interesting to experiment!
Cheers guys, thanks again!
Jamie
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Very nice.
I had to go back and delete the word "atmospheric" from my opening sentence...as almost everyone else seems to have picked up on that! And no wonder...it's very atmospheric. Damn!
The chorus hook is really cool. That change just before "I can't do anymore" is lovely.
I love the slightly wobbly three-note bass riff underpinning it. The choral pad (?) gives it an other-world feel which works very well...and leaves the listener pondering what feel likes a musical note of caution.
Excellent!
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Hi Jamie
Your creativity really shines in this one.
I love the non-conventional structure and of course the wonderful vocals and that bass synth meandering around like it does.
Perfect length - say what you want to say and get off the fecking stage! :D
Paul
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@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125)
There are some really great examples of different writing styles on this forum. Yours is certaily one of the most unique styles that I hear on this forum. You've produced a huge soundscape of interesting playing. The song production transports us to a different plateau where we can leave behind the cares of the day and totally absorb ourselves in your creation.
Well done
Paul
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@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) - Yes and an the others left me cold when they were at their peak, however I know how they should sound, and Jamie this could sit easily on any of their albums.
The production is really spacious, lots of energy, and room for each instrument, nice little sparkles all the way through, not a lot of one thing, so key in a song like this.
What on earth is that echoy synth starting :@ 2:35 ish, really like the atonal ending.
Your vocal style suits the song really well.
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I`ve never flirted with prog rock before but your melodies are always so strong they pull you in. Really excellent production @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) ..the synth pad? & backing vocals sit just right alongside the other instruments , its harder than it sounds but you make it work & the vocal is strong too. Good stuff. :)
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Hi @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) I don't know how I missed this little gem. it is an atmospheric soundscape indeed. Your vocal reminds me of Robert Wyatt, maybe because of the style of the song as well. This is a lovely piece with well thought out textured layers of sounds sweeping all over you. You sure are in a rich vein of form at the moment. Love that tasteful bass as well :)
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Hi Jamie. Yeah I really like this one too. Synths and the vocals work really well together. It’s a strong melody but also nice and trippy. Kind of reminds me a bit of some stuff the Flaming Lips do. The introduction of the drums works, but the track is strong enough to hardly need any percussion. Nice one. Micky
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Jamie, definitely not my sort of thing and as it started I thought i wouldn't like it much, but it really grows, especially when the drums kick in. Top vocal performance as well!
Not sure I liked the end but hat's probably back to what I expected at the start.
Take nothing away though Jamie, great work!
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@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253)
Hi Paul 'atmospheric' ;D ;D.That was what I was aiming at, and i like the note of caution comment, that's on the money. pleased you like my wobbly bass ??? :o.
@Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241)
Hi Paul, I'll take creativity......Have I said enough?...... I'll get my coat ;D
@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231)
Hi Paul ( a trio of Paul's!), Unique good I hope? ;)Glad you got something from it!
Cheers
guys, it's appreciated!
Jamie
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Hi All!
@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308)
Hi Rich, not quite sure how to respond to a review that categorises the song as something that left you cold :o ;) ;D ;D. Can't remember what that synth was, I'll have a look later! Thanks for the vocal comments, that's cool 8)
@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535)
Hi, Others have said prog, but I don't really hear it as that but, as I've said many times before, what do I know? There are elements maybe though....Thanks for the melody and vocal comments 8).
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269)
Hi John, great comments, I think I've had Mr Wyatt mentioned before he's a cool writer and singer. Glad you found it!
Cheers, thanks for listening!
Jamie
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Hi thanks for listening!
@mickyplankton (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20769)
Hi, I saw the Flaming lips live( and had tickets to see them this year as well.....oh well!) they were very good, and i see what you mean 8).Pleased you enjoyed it!
@PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588)
Hi, having just reviewed the Bin challenge country songs, I know what you mean, not necessarily your thing, but can appreciate the work. Thanks for the vocal comment, that's cool 8)
Cheers
Jamie
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Hi All!
@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308)
Hi Rich, not quite sure how to respond to a review that categorises the song as something that left you cold :o ;) ;D ;D. Can't remember what that synth was, I'll have a look later! Thanks for the vocal comments, that's cool 8)
Hi Jamie, Didn't mean to be mean, your song is really great, just not my cuppa tea genre wise (don't like everything - but I d like a well written song), it's as good as anything Yes did(at the risk of exposing myself as someone that only heard yes songs via mates of mine who would try and force me to hear their songs, under threats of maltreatment, or artistic coercion)
R
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@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308)
Hi Rich, ;D ;D ;D ;D I never doubted it, just pulling your leg ;).
Cheers
Jamie
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Hi Jamie
Wow, just loved it, definitely a YES influence and as soon as it kicked in I thought this will go on and on and on in the YES tradition. But it didn’t, cooked just right, no time to get board, left wanting more. Top class writing and performing, the bass is definitely the keystone but lovely intertwining elements kept the variation and interest going. It’s more or less all that I would ask for in a piece of music, never listened to the lyrics, didn’t need to, the melody and production was enough on its own. Better give it another listen to hear the lyrics I guess. 😂
BB
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Hi All, thanks for listening!
@Grubstar (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22532)
Hi, great comments, thanks! I was looking for that 10CC layered vocal sound, glad you spotted it.
@CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928)
Hi Vicki, experimental is good! What have we got to lose? Glad you liked the vocals, mine have gotten better over the years. I like the backing vocals too, they are heavily manipulated, but create an esoteric atmosphere.
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233)
Hi Mora, lovely comments thanks you. Yes, I was using my voice with lots of effects as an instrument. I don't think I've really done that before! I'm glad it transported you, hopefully to a place where the sun is shining! ;D
Thanks again!
Cheers
Jamie
I lately work on Voice Live, what effects are you using?
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Hey!! what a super cool song and nice quality mix. Very Well done Jamie
Regards from Copenhagen
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I couldn't think of who this reminded me of til Monte mentioned "Yes". This would be right at home on an Yes album.
Very nice, unconventional, but familiar feeling.
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Hi all, thanks for listening!
@Beebeesmith (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22341)
Hi, great comments ,thanks. It seems it sounds like Yes, of whom I am a big fan, but I can't hear it :P ;) ;D. Glad the melody and production carried it, it is a bit of a minimalist lyric, but I like those ;).
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233)
Hi Mora, on the ethereal vocal I used a chain of effects. Noise gate, tube burner guitar pedal, logic amp, EQ,Vintage VCA compressor, delay designer and ring shift. I know, but it seemed to work :D. I keep experimenting to get different sounds, as you do!
@Krysoe (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21248)
Hi, I've been to Copenhagen many times!Glad you enjoyed it!
@hardtwistmusic (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19215)
Hi Verlon, good to hear from you again! As i've said before I am a big fan of Yes, but can't really see the connection.Just shows what I know ;). Hope you enjoyed it!
Cheers guys and thanks again!
Jamie
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I always expect the unexpected from you @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) very niche I thought! lyrically is very good, the questions are brilliant, simple but give so much room to the listener...... love the drum beat also that's a good funky rhythm :)
excellent production too !!!
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@Sebandme (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22491)
Thanks for listening! I don’t necessarily start out to be unexpected ;), but I try to be creative ;) 8). Yes lyrics are pretty personal, I always think the phrasing and sound of the words is more important than storytelling, but I know many would disagree :o. Glad you got something from it!
Cheers
Jamie
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Hi Jamie,
Another very fine creation.
Loving the clarity on the vocals.
Some great sounds in there coming in at 2.13.
Well chosen synth sounds.
Thom Yorke/Radiohead is a bit of love/hate for me. Their more straight forward indie/rock stuff - really like. (Paranoid Android, Just, Creep, etc.)The self indulgent stuff - does tend to induce sleep.
Can't remember if it was Glastonbury or Leeds/Reading festival, but they spent the first hour or so sending me to sleep then finally played the "good stuff" (For me any how.)
Digger
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@digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823)
Hi, Great comments D, you have a knack of making great choices for instrumentation and production, so I'm delighted with the comments. Radiohead are probably my favourite band..... 8), but even I find some of their more recent stuff impenetrable :P. I do like pretty much all of 'A moon shaped pool" which I would guess is the stuff that sends you to sleep ;) ;D.
Cheers
Jamie