The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Neil C on October 06, 2020, 12:56:09 PM
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Hi everyone, so here’s the final track for our long awaited.. second EP.
So to recap I just make up some music that sounds like it could be a song, and send it over the ether to @nooms (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=11264), where after some passing of time, magic happens and a fully fledged song emerges. And after a few email exchanges voila. Music fully social distanced!
So do let us know what you think and any suggestions. nooms is working on the artwork and I’m planning a massive industry launch party :-)
cheers
:-)
neil
https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/aerosol-master-2-oct-2020 (https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/aerosol-master-2-oct-2020)
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I like the general sound, the atmosphere created by the backing, maybe I would try the bass sound with more low mids to differentiate its presence and highlight it among the guitars, could the voice have something more acute?
I really like when the strings appear, it's a great change, and the harmonica gives it warmth.
Sorry, you say we tell you and I tell you, but you know, it is a personal opinion and it also depends on the speakers with which you listen.
If you could put the lyrics, so I could understand the story in its entirety
Cuídate.
Mora
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Ha ha!
Great song, guys... Nooms is as enigmatic as ever and Neil's backings are always right on the money.
Of course...they've had a more than a few presidents who fit the cryptic description in the title (I'm guessing)
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@Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) , @nooms (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=11264)
Cool listening! It's a delightful production with a timeless arrangement of instruments, complimented by the very unique vocal skills of nooms! Instantly accessible songwriting.
Well done chaps!
Paul
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Great stuff. I love the harp intro.
This is an excellent collab. Seriously good performances and production.
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Neat little number guys. I always love @nooms (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=11264) laid back and understated vocals. They are just so effective. Great backing track @NeilC with your trademark guitars and a lovely bit of harp. As usual, top quality from you two
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I'm new here, and you all seem to have some social familiarity. I don't know who did what here, but the result is tight. The voice is certainly unusual, and is produced to match its character. In general, the production is spot on for the song. The performances are excellent.
It's on the long side, though the ending is my favorite part. I notice that you ended at 4:59, just below the 5 minute mark. Was that on your mind, or is it complete chance? If you're focused at all on getting attention, it's a short-attention-span world. I just released my first official public release, just a single, and it runs just over 5 minutes. It's right for the song, but I knew that it was a drawback in terms of keeping people's attention. In this case the lyrics overruled the music in terms of the length. I'll post it here some time soon, though it's a satire of current US politics, not a UK thing. I don't know how much the .co.uk means in terms of the members here.
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@Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) @nooms (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=11264)
Hi guys, another brilliant collaboration. great chords, arrangement, playing, production and of course Nooms inimitable vocal stylings! Everything you put up is really good!
Fab
Jamie
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Hi Guys,
Had me the moment the harmonica kicked in.
Really like the treatment on the vocal. Sort of lo-fi, but the harmonies give it an added texture that really lends itself. Very cool delivery.
Has a good mish mash of sounds - Bowie, Stones, and some dirty blues.
Great job all round.
Digger
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Ooohhh! I'm loving this. What a superb vocal that could be up in the mix for me and I thought the harmonica was a lovely touch. Fantastic chord changes that really drive this along. It sags around the 2:30 mark for a while before the harmonica comes back in but then is all well again. Highlight is the vocal delivery and the chord changes on the chorus...and the harmonica...and the instrumentation....
What a brilliant piece of music - we are so lucky to have talent like this on the forum.
M
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Very cool you two!
Its always good to hear @nooms (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=11264) coming out from his hibernation! Could maybe get the vocal a little bit more prominent in the mix but I understand that could be a strategic decision!
Youve done a good job with the produsction here Neil because it sounds like a live band , a little loose and not overly quantised...loving the haromica
Great changes along the way as well...really well thought out and arranged ;D
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Hi@Neil C @nooms (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=11264)
This is a really well produced and accomplished song,m loved the guitras and harmonicas and the laid back vocal delivery is spot on. My only improvement suggestion would be that it loses a lot of focus in the middle section and tends to meander a bit thus making the track a tad too long.Still that only my opinion and I did really enjoy the track.
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thanks folks for your listens and comments, much appreciated..
Im rather out of the loop on the forum at the moment ..
Lifes a little complicated but soon be back to my full ten percent..
Twas another fine backing track from neil but it took me an age to get to the final lyric.
it started out as a bunch of bad jokes and cliches about this cowardly bag of incarnate wind in the white house
and 'aerosol' and its similarity to another word was one of them..
i tried to get a little more depth but there was little more than topsoil, no shovel required.. in the bridge hes wallowing in self pity
and everyones against him..
i doubt hes ever had a relationship with anyone..
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233)
apologies for not posting lyrics, mora ive been elsewhere..
thanks for listening and here are the words.
AEROSOL a song about a nobody in particular.
hes checking out the battlefield
he wants to raise them all again
bring me my felt tip he say
and signs each one as they lift the lid
beware of angels, theyre out to get me
do you like me ? tell me twice
and the old dogs wallet
swung like the chihuahua,
that followed him home
not much of a man, the great mistake
no beacon of light in the night
just an aerosol
has a halo of flies, they divide and multiply
but with a whistle they know, daddys calling
not much of a man, the great mistake
no hero that flys in the night
just an aerosol, complete aerosol
only know its a beautiful world, dont let him have it no
only know its a beautiful
beware of angels, they're out to get me
do you like me ? tell me twice
lost am i lost am i
hes checking out the battlefields
he wants to raise them all again
bring me my felt tip he say
signs each one as they lift the lid
not much of a man, the great mistake,
awesome guy
no creature that died in the night
just an aerosol
nothing now
no beacon of light in the night,
just an aerosol
great mistakes are making, great mistakes
c nooms/connor 2020
@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) '.. agree mate and not only presidents, theyre everywhere..
@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) thanks for listening paul and commenting, pleased you enjoyed.. 'cool' ..if only..
@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611)
yes he blows a fine 'monica does neil.. gets in the spirit.. thanks unclenny..
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269)
thankyou john.. im singing in a restricted space at the moment , living elsewhere and the neighbours here all have ears like bats and sleep upside down ! not shy about complaining either .. so pleased it came across.. plus neil gave them some polishing, the vocals not the neighbours !
@Sideways S (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22669)
appreciate your listening.. no its complete chance.. it was shorter but due to a runaway over active brainwave it was extended in the middle..
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125)
thanks for your comments jamie really pleased you enjoyed it
@digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823)
thanks for listening.. agree about the stones thing in neils backing track, he gets a great feel from the start, its what triggered the 'high bvs' .. i was trying to reach those girly singers on stones tracks..
thankfully the bats were at sainsburys that day,,
@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653)
chuffed with your response alan means a lot mate
@kafla (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=6905)
cheers for the listen and comments andy... a cooking band in his loft .. the loftwaffa.. feels great to sing over..
think the man plays kind of freestyle ..reminds me of the guitar player with rem
@Grubstar (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22532)
appreciate your comments grubstar, pleased you enjoyed the song..
the sagging is possibly down to me for suggesting extending the sequence..attempting a kind of dreamscape but..
thanks again and wish you all well..
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Like a bit of harmonica! It's a really solid production, the laid back vocal over the strong instrumental works really well.
Interesting writing style, I don't think I could do that, I have to see something in a lyric that inspires me to create. If I did it the other war round I'm sure I'd just end up strumming a few open chords every time!
Great work guys!
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Some lovely strange chord progressions..a nice vocal delivery & very interesting lyrics. I liked this..sounds like Bowie if he`d smoked more weed & taken less of everything else.
Very nice work @Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) & @nooms (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=11264) ..interesting to the end.
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Love the raw energy and I also heard Bowie come through in places. The harmonica which isn’t featured so much now was a great lift. I love and need songs to keep giving variety to stimulate and this did really well on that score. Production and sound quality first class, Bit long though.
BB