The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: montydog on September 15, 2020, 03:18:15 PM
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Hello everyone,
I have another offering to set before you. This is about how when you lose someone, it can literally rob you of your grasp on reality. The line about the names on the gravestones is from an interview with the great Chrissie Hynde who explained that she liked to go through a graveyard and call out the names on the stones. Any and all comments/feedback very welcome.
M
https://soundcloud.com/alan-walker-4/i-have-taken-to-walking
I have taken to walking these back roads in the sun
Watching from the river as my mind comes undone
And in a far off country
My true love sings our song
I have taken to calling out the names on the graveyard stones
They breathe again for a moment no longer just dirt and bones
And every name has a story
Every soul strives to be born
I'll lift my face to the sky
Look for me in the morning
I will be lifted by and by
I can feel the world turning
I can feel the world turning
I have taken words you gave me as you gently slipped away
I whisper will you save me before the ending of the day
But I'm not the man you made me
From the cold, idle clay
I have taken to waking to the sound of no one there
Just the distant roll of thunder, rain's promise in the air
And far outside my window
The futures silent stare
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Hi @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653)
I haven't heard your songs for a long while but it's noticeable how good your production has become - you are really pushing those dynamics to every boundary and your vocals never disappoint. It kind of fades out a little weird at the end to my ear...
The instrumentation is sublime!
This is my new favourite lol
Superb!
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I like the melancholy mood; it's done well. A lot of good images. The ending--I'd like to hear it get closer to the end of the verse before fading out, I think. Or maybe even not have a fadeout? I'm not sure. It felt a little off balance, to me, as is. <<Listening again>> Maybe just a longer and more gradual fadeout, all the way to the end. Although, thinking from another angle...this type of fadeout could be considered a strong support for an unstable theme, which this is. That could work...there's discomfort in the theme and the ending is not comfortable.
I'm just rambling now. Great vocal, as always, nice and mellow. I know next to nothing about production, but it all sounds good to me.
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Yep, lovely melancholy feeling on this one Alan. Lyrics fit in with the mood of the music. The acoustic sound that you have is fabulous and the song is extremely well structured. Your production seems to get better and better. Another top tune from you.
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Hi M
Another great offering from you, a lovely atmospheric melancholy ballad of loss and longing.beautifully sung and produced. I loved the acoustic and the fabulous lead break and your vocals are spot on. My only negative comment is as Kafla and CM have said the end fade sounds a bit odd, easily remedied I would have thought. Anyway I really enjoyed it.
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I just love that opening line....”I have taken to walking” its an open door to anywhere from there and you do such a great job lyrically in this one Alan. I love it. That bridgey bit is superb as well. I have no nits mate. I just sat back and enjoyed it.😄🎶👊🏻🎶
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Monty ;D. Another lovely track my friend. Excellent guitar playing, I'm hearing all your dedication, practice and love of the instrument here ;D You make it sound so easy.
I'm 'with you' on every note and strum. I just knew they were coming.....excellent ;D. The organ works really well. Great laid back country/folk feel.
Words fail me ;D ;D ;D
Loved it mate ;D
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Hi Alan, I love that idea of bringing the dead somehow momentarily back to life by calling their names in churchyards. Plus the idea of taking to walking to think things through...poignantly hits on a truth, I know I’ve done that,
The verse is quite long, so smart to bring in that organ and shaker in on the second half to seal interest and help the build.
A terrific, reflective song, one of your best both for the lyrics and melody. The instrumentation just washes over you so gently. My only nit was the fade out which didn’t seem to start in a natural place...maybe I was thinking an instrumental outro would come at the end of the fascinating narrative. But still, you’d of course know what to do if you agree.
But I do like this thinking person’s kind of song ;)
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Beautiful guitar sound and lyrics well up to your ever high standards - the second verse in particular is perfect for me (inspired by Chrissie).
The only tiny thing that caught my ear was where you have a more complex guitar chord (example 0'56" - "names"). I think the organ reproduces it faithfully but seems to slightly over-emphasize the dischordant notes which makes it really dark - perhaps a different voicing or simplified chord on the organ could sound smoother?
But now I sound like a glass half empty person - this is a great musical piece and a fantastic example of revealing the emotion without really needing tell us what happened. Excellent.
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Nice bit of melancholia. Well produced with a very good acoustic guitar sound and a nice dynamic mix.
Nice electric guitars as well.
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@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653),
Alan, that is so true. Whether we lose someone at the end of their lives or through a relationship breakdown, including losing touch with friends. All of these experiences can cause us to lose our way in life. They can cause us to do crazy things that we wouldn't usually do. Fine melody and lyrics. I'll second what KAfla said, the recording excellent.
Long may your wonderful songwriting continue.
Paul
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Hola @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653)
Wow !!! What a good song!!! it has really moved me.
The song has a nostalgia that I don't know how to explain and the melody in the beginning of the sentences is wonderful, although I have become a little sad, my mood changes as I listen to the songs of the members of this forum It's like a Ferris wheel,
what a beautiful song and how well you've used your voice.
Mora
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@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653)
Hi Alan,
I've said before how much your arrangements, instrumentation and production have improved over the years I've been listening to you. This completely underlines all those points, the best thing I've heard from you in all depts!
Cheers
Jamie
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Nice one Alan.
You've proven again your lyrical talent and the hook draws us in like a fishing lure :D
Really like the organ and vocals in this one - and the melody line is not too shabby either :D
Good stuff
Paul
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fabulous
wonderful imagery and stunning production
This is all from under one hat?
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Great song Alan, first class production. I particularly liked the mid8, brilliant. To be honest, I don't pay as much attention to lyrics as I should (you can tell I'm the musician and not the lyricist in Echo Dogs ;D) but these really stood out, some great lines. Made me think of The River by Springsteen. I might have to go and play that now!
Oh, and that ending, the fade starts too early, then ends abruptly but it's a minor point that doesn't detract from my enjoyment of the song.
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Intriguing title.. and lyric... The production, playing and singing are as polished as I have comet to expect from you. I like your take on the subject matter. Great words.. There are actually some very interesting stories to glean particularly from very old gravestones - Chrissie was right :)
This line?
I'll lift my face to the sky
Look for me in the morning
Beautiful melody...
Wonderful @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653)
Karen
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Hi everyone,
Thanks so much for all the great reviews - I do appreciate the members who take the time to listen and comment.
Hi @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653)
I haven't heard your songs for a long while but it's noticeable how good your production has become - you are really pushing those dynamics to every boundary and your vocals never disappoint. It kind of fades out a little weird at the end to my ear...
The instrumentation is sublime!
This is my new favourite lol
Superb!
@kafla (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=6905) Thank you for listening - it's a real thrill for me that you liked it.
fabulous
wonderful imagery and stunning production
This is all from under one hat?
@rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) Thanks for commenting and for the kind words. Not sure what you mean by "under one hat". Perhaps you could explain :-)
Nice one Alan.
You've proven again your lyrical talent and the hook draws us in like a fishing lure :D
Really like the organ and vocals in this one - and the melody line is not too shabby either :D
Good stuff
Paul
@Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) Great comments Paul and thanks for the compliments about my lyrics. That's were the work really goes on for me.
@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653)
Hi Alan,
I've said before how much your arrangements, instrumentation and production have improved over the years I've been listening to you. This completely underlines all those points, the best thing I've heard from you in all depts!
Cheers
Jamie
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) Thanks for the comments on my improved production and arrangement - that means a lot coming from you.
Hola @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653)
Wow !!! What a good song!!! it has really moved me.
The song has a nostalgia that I don't know how to explain and the melody in the beginning of the sentences is wonderful, although I have become a little sad, my mood changes as I listen to the songs of the members of this forum It's like a Ferris wheel,
what a beautiful song and how well you've used your voice.
Mora
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) Wow! Lovely words from you and I'm so glad you "get" the mood of this song.
@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653),
Alan, that is so true. Whether we lose someone at the end of their lives or through a relationship breakdown, including losing touch with friends. All of these experiences can cause us to lose our way in life. They can cause us to do crazy things that we wouldn't usually do. Fine melody and lyrics. I'll second what KAfla said, the recording excellent.
Long may your wonderful songwriting continue.
Paul
@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) Thank you for your lovely comments - it's great that you understood where the song was coming from.
Nice bit of melancholia. Well produced with a very good acoustic guitar sound and a nice dynamic mix.
Nice electric guitars as well.
@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611) Thank you - I do tend to specialise in melancholia !
Beautiful guitar sound and lyrics well up to your ever high standards - the second verse in particular is perfect for me (inspired by Chrissie).
The only tiny thing that caught my ear was where you have a more complex guitar chord (example 0'56" - "names"). I think the organ reproduces it faithfully but seems to slightly over-emphasize the dischordant notes which makes it really dark - perhaps a different voicing or simplified chord on the organ could sound smoother?
But now I sound like a glass half empty person - this is a great musical piece and a fantastic example of revealing the emotion without really needing tell us what happened. Excellent.
@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) Hi, funny how our ears hear things differently - I never heard what you mention on that chord. I like to keep my songs opaque at least in parts. It takes the magic away if it's all there for you like a press report.
Hi Alan, I love that idea of bringing the dead somehow momentarily back to life by calling their names in churchyards. Plus the idea of taking to walking to think things through...poignantly hits on a truth, I know I’ve done that,
The verse is quite long, so smart to bring in that organ and shaker in on the second half to seal interest and help the build.
A terrific, reflective song, one of your best both for the lyrics and melody. The instrumentation just washes over you so gently. My only nit was the fade out which didn’t seem to start in a natural place...maybe I was thinking an instrumental outro would come at the end of the fascinating narrative. But still, you’d of course know what to do if you agree.
But I do like this thinking person’s kind of song ;)
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) It is really gratifying to know that at least one person out there gets what I'm trying to put over in the song. I don't really know what happened with the fade out - perhaps I was so sick of the song by then that I just missed it! "A thinking person's song" - I'll take that.
Monty ;D. Another lovely track my friend. Excellent guitar playing, I'm hearing all your dedication, practice and love of the instrument here ;D You make it sound so easy.
I'm 'with you' on every note and strum. I just knew they were coming.....excellent ;D. The organ works really well. Great laid back country/folk feel.
Words fail me ;D ;D ;D
Loved it mate ;D
@Binladeda (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18620) Thanks for the great comments about the song. The guitar playing is not me. I can play pretty decent lead slide on the dobro but that level of guitar skill is way beyond me. That lead guitar part is played by Brent Mason who is a 14-time winner of the Academy of Country Music "Guitarist of the Year" award and a 2-time winner of the Country Music Association's "Musician of the Year" award. His awards also include a Grammy for "Best Country Instrumental Performance."
Thanks again for commenting
I just love that opening line....”I have taken to walking” its an open door to anywhere from there and you do such a great job lyrically in this one Alan. I love it. That bridgey bit is superb as well. I have no nits mate. I just sat back and enjoyed it.😄🎶👊🏻🎶
@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) Really pleased that you enjoyed the song. Makes it all worthwhile.
Hi M
Another great offering from you, a lovely atmospheric melancholy ballad of loss and longing.beautifully sung and produced. I loved the acoustic and the fabulous lead break and your vocals are spot on. My only negative comment is as Kafla and CM have said the end fade sounds a bit odd, easily remedied I would have thought. Anyway I really enjoyed it.
@Grubstar (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22532) Sir, you are a man of impeccable taste! I don't know how that fade ot got out the factory door but glad you enjoyed the rest.
Yep, lovely melancholy feeling on this one Alan. Lyrics fit in with the mood of the music. The acoustic sound that you have is fabulous and the song is extremely well structured. Your production seems to get better and better. Another top tune from you.
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) Thank you so much. I do love a bit of melancholia - just what we need in these dark days :-(
I like the melancholy mood; it's done well. A lot of good images. The ending--I'd like to hear it get closer to the end of the verse before fading out, I think. Or maybe even not have a fadeout? I'm not sure. It felt a little off balance, to me, as is. <<Listening again>> Maybe just a longer and more gradual fadeout, all the way to the end. Although, thinking from another angle...this type of fadeout could be considered a strong support for an unstable theme, which this is. That could work...there's discomfort in the theme and the ending is not comfortable.
I'm just rambling now. Great vocal, as always, nice and mellow. I know next to nothing about production, but it all sounds good to me.
@CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928) Ramble on....Yes the fade out needs work but glad you liked the tune otherwise.
Great song Alan, first class production. I particularly liked the mid8, brilliant. To be honest, I don't pay as much attention to lyrics as I should (you can tell I'm the musician and not the lyricist in Echo Dogs ;D) but these really stood out, some great lines. Made me think of The River by Springsteen. I might have to go and play that now!
Oh, and that ending, the fade starts too early, then ends abruptly but it's a minor point that doesn't detract from my enjoyment of the song.
@PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588) Don't take much notice of the lyrics!!!??? Get to the back of the class! Joking aside, I'm pleased that you liked what you heard.
Intriguing title.. and lyric... The production, playing and singing are as polished as I have comet to expect from you. I like your take on the subject matter. Great words.. There are actually some very interesting stories to glean particularly from very old gravestones - Chrissie was right :)
This line?
I'll lift my face to the sky
Look for me in the morning
Beautiful melody...
Wonderful @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653)
Karen
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) Lovely comments Karen, it means so much to me. So pleased that you liked the song and commented.
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That voice! Goosebumps from start to finish, like, I knew I dug your voice but somehow it is sooo perfect here. The perfect fit with the song. I think this kind of backing is the perfect match for your voice. Not 1+1 but a little mellow band setting. The good news: it is fantastic! The bad news: you may stop now, there is no way you'll ever be able to top this! The perfect song , the perfect backing, the perfect vocals. Love the solo! And the production is ace as well. Damn, I love everything about it, totally blown away!!!
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I had to laugh when this started with some cheesy keyboard shite and I nearly fell out of my chair until I realised it was another soundcloud advert!
I thought "that's not Alan...no way" and of course it wasn't.
Then, when it did start, it did seem to be slightly different from what I expect from you...a bit more pop/MOR and upbeat feeling...but still unmistakably you.
Great vocals and super clean sounds. Nice organ (as Baron Frankenstein said to Ygor)
Excellent lyrics...a trademark of yours. I've dug a few graves in my time...and dug my own - figuratively speaking - many times.
Possibly slightly too jaunty for a misery-guts like me...but a solid song very well written and excellently performed.
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Alan,
Sounding spot on, meaty yet sensitive slice of Americana :-)
All in all a great setting for your fab lyrics and honeyed, honest voice.
Love the solo too.
Your arrangements and productions are now consistently very high and really show off your powerful songwriting.
:-)
neil
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Hi Alan,
Lovely blend of acoustic and keys. The organ is sublime.
Fantastic lyric alert:
"I have taken to calling out the names on the graveyard stones
They breathe again for a moment no longer just dirt and bones"
Really tasteful solo. Mark Knopfler-esque.
And the usual silky vocal.
Great job.
Digger
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This is my favorite Alan Walker song. Not totally sure why, but it brought me back to a time when songs had to mean something or no one would listen. Made me think of some of the deeper Jethro Tull songs, both musically and lyrically. Even when the intellectual depth of the song isn't totally apparent, you can just FEEL it in there. I really miss intellectual depth, and this just felt sooooooo right.