The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat

Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Works in Progress => Topic started by: mickyplankton on September 12, 2020, 08:55:33 PM

Title: Gym Buddy
Post by: mickyplankton on September 12, 2020, 08:55:33 PM
Hi All. Here’s a preview of the next song I will publish in the finished section. A rough and ready version of a song I have been working on for a long time. I’m in the final straight now in terms of songwriting. Happy with the song. Just a series of tightening up needed. Still open to structural ideas if anyone has any thoughts.

https://soundcloud.com/mickyplankton/gym-buddy-2020-demo

Cheers Micky

Title: Re: Gym Buddy
Post by: rightly on September 13, 2020, 06:39:11 AM
Looking forward to hearing the complete version of this.
I’ve started going to the gym.
It’s a huge investment.
I’ve a couple of buddies who try to tag along from time to time.

They’ll stop an  stare at the Rnb workout videos being played
Ugly sentiments, they want me to listen n respond in the same dismissive tones.
It doesn’t stop there.
I went for war with the weights.
“Ah maybe next time, you’re not feeling it”
“You won’t be here next time, so yeah, maybe”

They won’t take a shower, feeling self conscious.
I hate gym buddies. I didn’t go there to hang out! 

So bring on the song! 
Title: Re: Gym Buddy
Post by: pompeyjazz on September 13, 2020, 08:18:02 PM
Great stuff Micky - Who needs a Gym buddy eh ? Love the lyrics - A lot of people to impress, an hour in the shower  :) :)

Gonna be great this one  :)
Title: Re: Gym Buddy
Post by: Binladeda on September 14, 2020, 11:15:06 AM

 Looking forward to hearing the final version of this. ;D  Love the energy, attitude and drive.
 Be careful when you record the vocal.....'Gym Buddie'  could end up sounding like 'Jam Buttie' ;D
 
Title: Re: Gym Buddy
Post by: adamfarr on September 14, 2020, 01:02:38 PM
Cool - great guitar sounds on this one!

I thought perhaps the word "people" didn't sound quite right - could it work better with "a lot of folk" "a massive crowd" or something like that to impress?

Very cool song on its way here though.
Title: Re: Gym Buddy
Post by: mickyplankton on September 19, 2020, 03:26:37 PM
@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) @Binladeda (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18620)

Cheers for the input lads. Adam. Thanks for the observations on the lyrics. Considering your ideas are better options. Lyrics currently are placeholders and not yet done the final lyric take. Cheers Micky