The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: 5 guys named Lars on August 12, 2020, 08:11:07 AM
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As if 2020 wasn`t bad enough I`ve put another song online. Over the summer I bought an interface & started using MIDI for the first time. I wrote a simple song but not knowing my ASIO from my elbow it took longer than I`d hoped.
Gordon Sting said that he didn`t finish a song,he just abandoned it. Well I`m abandoning this b@¤¤@¤ over the hills & far away. ;D
Its not great but it is what it is & we are where we are. Time for more practicing.
Any recording tips would be gratefully received. Thanks for listening. :)
It`s a Wonderful Lowlife
Some people say that all roads lead to Rome.
Well I bloody hope not `cos I`m driving home.
I`m in cruise control in 11th gear.
I`m going down to my wonderful lowlife.
Listen to the story of my life.
Hear it on “You Tube” & press “subscribe”.
Its been 7 years, not a single view.
I`m going to hide in my wonderful lowlife.
Somewhere in the fast lane theres a man with a diamond studded I-phone.
And a plan.
And he`ll take you down like I know you will.
He`ll drag you down to his wonderful lowlife.
Some people say that all roads lead to Rome.
Well I bloody hope not `cos I`m driving home.
She`ll be waiting there with a plan for me.
She`s going down on her wonderful lowlife.
Its time to understand that fairy tales are just fairy tales.
Has no one told you they`re not coming true?
I couldn`t get much higher if I tried and if I did it would be a waste of time.
I`ll be there for you (and I always will)
We`re getting high.It`s a wonderful lowlife.
We´re doing fine. It’s a wonderful lowlife.
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@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535) - Only read the lyrics, superb...compelling and I'm going to listen sometime in the next 7 years probably, Oh that reminds me I have to put that shelf up in the loft...Oh yes and paint the dustbin...The diamonds need re gluing on my iphone....
Be in touch with all of You, and the gorgeous Ena....
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@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535) I really enjoyed this, it's different - I got an early T-Rex vibe from this one, Micky Finn et all. The lyrics are poignant and cutting. Some lovely acoustic guitar and the dual vocals work really well - Excellent :)
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Hi @5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535)
A brillaint witty title and a great original sounding song to go with it I really enjoyed it. Loved the congas and the acoustic guitars and your vocals and lyrics, not much more to say except great job.
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Cracking stuff!
Lyrics made me laugh out loud :)
Really interesting and refreshing stuff to listen to. Real talent, you have!
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Hi Lars, Lars, Lars, Lars and Lars,
This was a charming little ditty... full of character and interest. The rhythm section was unusual... made me think of Africa for some reason... bit of Paul Simon's "Graceland" going round in my head. Lyrics are spot on and turned a wry smile several times with me. And I really liked the restrained very characterful vocal delivery... no cheese, all charm. Well done Larses.
PS "Holly Golightly" remains one of my fave tracks of 2020 so far, both on and off this forum.
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@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) I wouldn`t bother listening to be honest..better off cleaning the shed. My amateur recording would probably make your brain freeze. ;D
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) @Grubstar (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22532) @PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) @PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) Thank you all for the nice comments. Sounded in my head like an Arabian dervish but ended up like 5 Danish blokes playing out of tune after a fish supper. Having real problems recording vocals..bought a new dynamic mic but maybe a condenser one would sound better..or I should maybe just learn to sing properly. ;D
(PS. Thanks PaulyX for the lovely words about "HG").
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Having read the self-deprecating introduction I wasn't expecting much ;D
But what an excellent track/song! Love the doubled vocals and lyrics - yes T-Rex came to mind but this is melodically better IMO. This could very easily go on the radio and be loved by the masses if this were a fairer world ;D
Excellent work!
Paul
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@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535) @PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) - Yip I have to agree with you about "Holly Golightly" - Brilliant piece of songwriting, wonder how the spell checker handled Larses...
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This is fantastic - lyrics fab (title included) and the melody and delivery don’t let them down. I just LOVE this!!
K
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Wow, this song, disparaged by its creator (ha ha!) has a real charm and effervescence! Very catchy and full of clever fun. I enjoyed its kind of lo-fi quirkiness and unique personality. Another triumph, I’d say, for the Lars Five-O. :)
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@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535),
I immediately like the rhythmic intro and cool acoustic guitars that follow. This is a lovely charming song, all the better for those delicious acoustic riffs. Quite a hypnotising song my friend. Great title too.
Paul
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Great title,
Sharp lyrics made me smile too.
Really nice organic feel with the guitars and percussion
Sets up for the melody and vocals
I really like it, all the little details, sounds like you put lots of effort into the arrangement and production, in spite of your modest claims...
Thanks for the share
:-)
neil
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Loving the lyrics and the cool lilting vibe...
Very idiosyncratic. Lovely stuff ❤️
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Hi, love the lyrics, agree with others comments about early T Rex. Different, but different good....
Cheers
Jamie
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Hola @5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535)
didn't know you, I just discovered you now.
I like your style, carefree in terms of the melody of the song but deep in the lyrics that makes you think as well as making you smile.
Mora