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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: bigFishAndTheSmallPondets on July 30, 2020, 08:54:19 AM

Title: Looking Back (Punk Rock Version)
Post by: bigFishAndTheSmallPondets on July 30, 2020, 08:54:19 AM
This actually started life as an up tempo country folk rock number, inspired by the Beatles song 'I've Just Seen a Face'.

I put it through a Green Day/Strokes filter and came up with a slightly manic rock tune as follows:

https://soundcloud.com/big-fish-small-pondettes/looking-back-1

Do hope you like it. Lyrics...

Took a girl, to me she lied, couldn’t go back if I tried, but oh,
What a lie.

Memories so unfair, why do they have to take me there when I,
Think of her?
And I think of her.

When I consider that you never really cared,
I can smile through all the pain.

And I was innocent to everything you shared,
To the others fought in vain.

Looking back, I needed you, was the one that heeded you and now,
All for naught.

Rue the day I walked away, hate the time I came to stay, I know,
I’m a fool,
You know that I’m a fool.

Something so beautiful I didn’t even care, but,
It’s a glory to be free.

And now I’m coming down it’s something I can bear,
To be lonely, now I see.

Yes I know that times were good, something that I never should confess,
To you now.

Looking back I breathe a sigh, relief and pleasure on a high, I won’t,
Need you now.
No I don’t need you now.

And look at what you’ve done there’s nothing left to say,
Feeling lonely, you’re to blame.

I hope you understand that love will find a way,
Play again it’s all a game,
Looking back I’m just the same.
Title: Re: Looking Back (Punk Rock Version)
Post by: Jamie on July 30, 2020, 12:25:12 PM
Hi, didn't expect the song to go that way after the intro... ;D. Nice guitar sounds, although on my speakers the guitars were much louder on the right channel, not sure if it needs a bit of balancing? Nice energetic piece with almost a rockabilly sound in places.
Nice one!

Cheers
Jamie
Title: Re: Looking Back (Punk Rock Version)
Post by: bigFishAndTheSmallPondets on July 31, 2020, 07:55:51 AM
Hi, didn't expect the song to go that way after the intro... ;D. Nice guitar sounds, although on my speakers the guitars were much louder on the right channel, not sure if it needs a bit of balancing? Nice energetic piece with almost a rockabilly sound in places.
Nice one!

Cheers
Jamie

Thank you Jamie. Much appreciated.
Title: Re: Looking Back (Punk Rock Version)
Post by: adamfarr on July 31, 2020, 08:38:27 AM
Really upbeat surfy-punk sound - trashy guitars work well with the more "pure" vocal. The only thing I really missed here was a hooky chorus - even just taking one of the second verse parts (when I consider etc.) and repeating could work for that.

But I like it!
Title: Re: Looking Back (Punk Rock Version)
Post by: moraamarolaloba on August 03, 2020, 12:30:02 PM
Hola @bigFishAndTheSmallPondets (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20529)

I think like @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125), I didn't expect the turn your song would take after the intro either

I like the contrast between the lyrics of heartbreak and the rhythm of the base.
The guitars give it a heavy touch that brightens the style. and the melody, although it is difficult to hum, performs well in harmony with the rest of the instruments.

Be safe!!
Title: Re: Looking Back (Punk Rock Version)
Post by: bigFishAndTheSmallPondets on August 03, 2020, 01:37:44 PM
Really upbeat surfy-punk sound - trashy guitars work well with the more "pure" vocal. The only thing I really missed here was a hooky chorus - even just taking one of the second verse parts (when I consider etc.) and repeating could work for that.

But I like it!

So glad you like it Adam. Thank you!
Title: Re: Looking Back (Punk Rock Version)
Post by: bigFishAndTheSmallPondets on August 03, 2020, 01:39:49 PM
Hola @bigFishAndTheSmallPondets (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20529)

I think like @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125), I didn't expect the turn your song would take after the intro either

I like the contrast between the lyrics of heartbreak and the rhythm of the base.
The guitars give it a heavy touch that brightens the style. and the melody, although it is difficult to hum, performs well in harmony with the rest of the instruments.

Be safe!!


Thank you! Very kind! The tune is a bit manic. I must admit it was very hard for me to sing.