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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: shadowfax on July 10, 2020, 08:13:25 PM

Title: Don't turn away.
Post by: shadowfax on July 10, 2020, 08:13:25 PM: Hi, A bare bones piano ballad with some light strings in the 2nd half...

https://soundcloud.com/knmac/dont-turn-away-by-knmac

When you tear me down,
I can't face the things that you say,
I can hear the sound,
but my head is in disarray
all the time I spend with you,
just tells me, we are through,
can't find a way to change your mind,
you close your eye's, you seem resigned,

don't turn away, don't turn away,
don't turn away, don't turn away, no.

when I close my eye's,
the only thing I see is your face,
what I feel inside,
is so strong it can't be replaced,
all the time I spend with you,
just tells me, we are through,
can't find a way to make you see,
you close your eye's, you don't look at me,

don't turn away, don't turn away,
don't turn away, don't turn away, no.©KNmac
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: Binladeda on July 10, 2020, 08:29:21 PM: Hey Kev,

Lovely vocals ;D (your new booth?) Great production all round. I can easily see this performed on the big stage with a grand piano..
let me know when you go on tour ;D

Excellent work. A pleasure to behold ;D ;D
take care, stay safe
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: Sebandme on July 11, 2020, 07:38:55 AM: @shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) a fantastic song, the chorus is excellent very very catchy! I love the bare sound. Great voice too :) :)
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: MichaelA on July 11, 2020, 07:52:12 AM: Hi Kev what a great emotional performance, real feeling in your voice, which has a lovely texture too. The piano accompaniment is mesmerising, and takes away the need for much else. The baritone strings don't spoil the simplicity of the song either, as often happens with ballads that build.

The chorus is impactful and the repetition of the lyrical phrase makes you fell that the guy is pleading his heart out there. I was just wondering if that section could benefit from a development line at the end so add interest. But I don't think I could write a ballad as lovely as this, so feel free to ignore my comment!
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: Grubstar on July 11, 2020, 04:26:30 PM: Hi
This is an incredibally impressive track with beutifully played piano and strings. I thought the production and arrangment sounded very professional and your vocals as ususal were 1st class. Great lyrics (very sad) and a great chorus. Fabulous.
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: PaulyX on July 11, 2020, 07:47:27 PM: Hey Kev, this is great. The chords progressions take a few unexpected twists and the vocal melody (particularly in the pre-choruses) is extremely ear-wormy. That twist into a minor chord at the start of the chorus is very deft... loved it. This is a good illustration of how a simply produced song can still be EPIC.
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: cowparsleyman on July 12, 2020, 10:09:00 AM: @shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) - Yip, @PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) is bang on, those prechorus modulations are very effective in getting to the Chorus.

Superb work, really like the space in this, I might have introduced either a standup bass or a fretless bass gtr in the 2nd verse, and made the strings a small quartet, instead of the less intimate synth string pad.

Hope this helps Kev
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: pompeyjazz on July 12, 2020, 04:43:40 PM: Beautiful song @shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) Doesn't need anything else, fabulous vocals as ever and the piano backing is just great. Strings just add to the atmosphere in the second half. Excellent work Kev :)
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: MonnoDB on July 12, 2020, 05:15:10 PM: That is beautiful - gorgeous piano playing - is that you? Just lovely.. Very emotional delivery.. got me in the feels... Loved the melody..

I think this might be my favourite of yours.. just wonderful @shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024)

Karen
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: Jambrains on July 12, 2020, 08:13:33 PM: Good song, great vocals, tasteful arrangement, all boxes checked!
Nothing but praise from me, well done!
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: Bostonfan2 on July 13, 2020, 12:45:45 AM: Beautiful song! Vocals are stellar & Piano as well. really a great listen, nicely done!
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: kevysc on July 13, 2020, 09:07:56 AM: Excellent in every respect, well done!

Kevin
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: Jamie on July 17, 2020, 03:44:08 PM: @shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024)

Hi Kev, love it, the best thing you've done for a while, and that is saying something....The don't turn away repetition, chords and singings an inspired touch.

Cheers
Jamie
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: adamfarr on July 21, 2020, 01:11:10 PM: Fabulous piano. Love the simple chorus and spacious production. The lyrics are also really good - some original turns of phrase, which I really like.
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: Paulski on July 21, 2020, 07:56:58 PM: Hi Kevin
It's all been said (correctly!) what a great song and the vocals are so well sung and emoted (is that a word?) Well it should be! I wanted some big drums and harmonies to come exploding in on the last chorus but I tend to over-dramatize everything :D

Good stuff!
Paul
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: Bill Saunders on July 23, 2020, 11:16:20 AM: Been too long since I heard any of your stuff Kevin. Top polished, professional sound that is so easy to indulge yourself in and enjoy, I love it. Amazing how three simple words in the chorus is enough to pull you in and keep your interest up. Fab song, and as ever well sung.
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: shadowfax on July 26, 2020, 01:22:40 PM: Sincere thanks to all who took time out to listen to my efforts... :)
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: montydog on July 28, 2020, 02:41:14 PM: One of the forum's most talented members who never fails to deliver quality material...but enough about me, this is pretty good too. (just joking)! You have a very distinctive, emotive voice which records very well and this very much the star of this track. The backing track is very subtle and doesn't distract the listener from what's going on in the song. If I'm being picky, it could do with a little more variation instrumentally and the ending was a little abrupt but otherwise excellent.
M
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: LostBoy on July 29, 2020, 01:56:20 PM: Great vocal performance on this buddy. Really sells it. Nice song....I wonder if I'll ever see the day when I can keep a ballad under 3.30!!?😱😆🎶👊🏻🎶
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: PaulAds on July 30, 2020, 09:26:09 PM: Hi Kev...I could have sworn I'd reviewed this before my holidays...

Clean as a whistle...sounds absolutely stunning. Some lovely chord changes in that chorus...which is really memorable.

Great vocal too...a super listen.
Title: Re: Don't turn away.
Post by: moraamarolaloba on August 03, 2020, 12:46:50 PM: Hola @shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024)

Love is the quintessential protagonist of our songs and this one that you have done is a sample of what can be done under that banner.

It is a beautiful ballad, I love the piano, it gives it the necessary dramatic and serious atmosphere and it also elevates the sensations when accompanying the voice.
The parts are very well defined and the development is very harmonious.
Congratulations