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Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: rightly on July 08, 2020, 02:00:07 AM
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I wrote this many years ago
Finally the music is ready for it.
Feedback very welcome
To Suffer Quietly
Standing in the hall with his sword and his shield
Trying to recall his glory in the field
He sees that peace is not all it is said to be
And he's learning now to suffer quietly
Friendship, sweat n' blood, there was a mortal fear
It was brotherly love and without a single tear
Oh, the angel of death you could hear her wings
Right now there seems no real need for anything
I could wish nothing more vile on my closest enemy
Than to turn back, recover his tracks and to suffer quietly
Slave to the mundane such as no other animal
Deluded he lays claim to the incompatible
Haunted by the facts, confronted in his shame
It's a life on the run through a carnival of pain
Coerced by the wily fools that he must serve
Do harm unto your neighbor, plunder the earth
N' With no other option than to guard his patch
And Orpheus , he gave word there's no looking back
There is no comfort to be found in abject misery
n' Forever is a very long time to while away cowardly
I could wish nothing more vile on my closest enemy
Than to turn back, recover his tracks and to suffer quietly
_________
Rightly
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So dark. And deep. It resonates as poetry. I hear this as a "lament", and I'm sure you have something good coming, musically. My favorite lines:
Slave to the mundane such as no other animal
Deluded he lays claim to the incompatible
and
Coerced by the wily fools that he must serve
Do harm unto your neighbor, plunder the earth
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@CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928)
Oh this is an interesting track.
I’ve just finished the music.
It’s been on the shelf for three years.
I started hating it now I like it again. Lol.
My production skills have improved over the last few years
I was concerned that this production would sound inferior.
But I think it’s barely noticeable. I did some new stuff to it.
I’ve got two productions ready to upload.
Which one comes first?
You decide.
Sweet oblivion
Or
To Suffer Quietly
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I vote for "To Suffer Quietly". But don't drop "Sweet Oblivion"! Just do it second.
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I vote for "To Suffer Quietly". But don't drop "Sweet Oblivion"! Just do it second.
And so be it.
@caliamoko
Oblivion
is more sophisticated, and being able to play it on guitar, it'll stick around.
Suffer
was an incredible effort, ambitious, and I was greener than I am now.
The original of it might be close to a decade old. I first got busy with the production three years ago. So much time has passed I was hesitating to put it on an album, cuz it didn't sit well with the other tracks. But never mind it'll just be the freak of family.
See you.
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Those are some interesting lyrics and fascinating to read because they are so very different from anything that I could ever write. I particularly like:
"Slave to the mundane such as no other animal
Deluded he lays claim to the incompatible"
I am curious now to hear how you have put this to music.