The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: MichaelA on July 06, 2020, 08:49:33 AM
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It's been really difficult to move on from Hip Hop Grandad. Every time I have tried to write something in my usual style I have ended up breaking out into Old Man Lancashire Rap! It's like I have created this creative monster that I can't shake off!
But finally, last week when Grandad went off to Scarborough for the day on a Golden Years coach trip, I managed to break free and write this. It's a bit of an ironic response to Climate Change. I'm hoping that Greta Thunberg will hear it and slag me off on Facebook :D
https://soundcloud.com/michael-a-duffy/2099song (https://soundcloud.com/michael-a-duffy/2099song)
All comments gratefully received!
Lyrics - thanks for reminding me to post them @PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253), yep senior moment, you got me :)
2099
There's something about C02
The earth got warmer, oh really, who knew?
But in the cold and grey UK
Make us Hawaii, yeah that's OK
We're naughty naughty boys
And naughty naughty girls
For ravaging the planet
Murdering our world
By the year 2099
Humans will all live on Mars
Acclimatised just fine
By the year 2099
Planet earth abandoned
Desolated by mankind
But New Year's Eve
Oh we'll
Still party
So what we're talking two degrees
And we will boil, but who wants to freeze?
Bring back our plastic carrier bags
Reusing our own, well that's such a drag
We're poisoning all the fish
Says this documentary
But all's well at the chippy
A fish supper for me
We're all dancing
At the ghost party
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I love how this song just takes off running from the start.
Great song @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) with a fantastic chorus. Definitely invite Greta to the Party!!!
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Hello
Well, I'm glad to see @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) is back again, not because your alterego doesn't appear here, but because apparently you have regained the reins ... hahaha
I liked your song, things could be seen like this ...
The change that appears approx. in 2.40 ... it has an atmosphere that completes the one you wanted to give to the song. Great!
I have not been able to understand all the lyrics, you know that my English is very limited but I have generally understood what you were saying ...
Be safe
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@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274)
Hi Michael, great harmonies in the chorus and loved some of the chord changes 8). Getting in early for your 'turn of the century' party song eh? ;), I suppose now Prince has gone someone has to do it! :D Great poppy vibe to this despite the sombre lyric.
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie
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Brilliant chorus, and I love the energetic vibe you have in the song! :) Great dramatic feel and a unexpected feel to the M8, before the final chorus kicks in.
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Hi @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) I hope that Grandad is enjoying his holiday in Scarborough. Loved the bouncy pop style to this one. Great melody and catchy singalongee chorus. I like the breakdown section, very effective. Another monster from the hit factory.
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Really like this, Michael.
Vocal melody is super in the verses and the chorus is super catchy. I enjoyed the up-tempo feel.
Even though hip-hop Grandad was away on his holidays...you seem to have had a senior moment on his behalf by not posting your trademark brilliant lyrics? Or was it a genius ploy to make us listen more closely?
Drums were sometimes a little mad-cap though always interesting and step up to support that great chorus brilliantly.
Couldn't help wondering if there were keyboards doing the main riff behind a guitar or two? If you did that with just guitars...I was really impressed. If fact, I was really impressed by it either way!
By the time I'd listened a few times ...I came to the conclusion that this is a genuinely brilliant song :)
Perhaps Greta's heart is in the right place...but she's a shit actress.
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Hey @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274)
Topical.. original.. witty.. very catchy .. And a New Year’s Eve song to boot…(you could make your millions with this one :)!) The vocal at the ghost party part is great.. fab mood change.. You’ve got the gift, sir!
K
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Thanks all for the great feedback so far. Grandad is jealous and is threatening a comeback! He is like Norman Bates's mother staring down from the top bedroom window at me...what next?
Anyhow @Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611), thanks for that. You can invite Greta to the party if you like. But I'd be just too scared ;). although I do tend to think she'd be a really boring party guest.
Hey @Andreas (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22101). Glad you like that chorus, one of my better ones. They only come around every so often sadly:)
Hi @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269), I like the idea of the hit factory. Good production line then. I think it is just the retail side of the business letting me down. But Grandad is back from Scarborough now - but sulking at these good comments, ha ha!
Hi @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233), well I think you always seem to understand my lyrics very well. Thank you! :)
Cheers @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125), yes this has got to be the earliest 'turn of the century song' ever! Hopefully you will sing it with me and all our other forum friends when the time finally comes around :)
Hi @PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253), cheers indeed for the detailed listen. I like you called the drums a bit madcap in parts - I presume you mean in the second half of the verse. I originally had one drum pattern all the way through to the chorus. But it sounded too much 'all on one level', so I went a bit deliberately oddball with the sparse ride cymbals for a bit, which jarred with me at first. But now I really like it! As for the guitar, well I am not the best guitarist in the world and kept messing up playing the main riff as thirds. So I cheated a bit and played it across two tracks, one for the riff melody, the second for the higher harmony. Then just added a bit of chorus to fill up the sound. But there's no synths until the 'ghost party' break. There's an organ pad on the chorus though. I will obviously hire a proper guitarist for my World Tour. In 2099 of course! ;D thanks!
Hi @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) Karen. Wow I am glad you are tipping me to make my millions finally. I saw a yacht in Monaco once and thought I needed to buy it. Mind if the royalty cheques don't appear until sometime in 2100 I might be a bit old for sailing :(. Anyhow thanks for the lovely feedback- keeps me motivated dontchaknow! ;)
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Hey Michael, cool song... the jolly guitars and major chords reminded me a bit of The Smiths' "Ask". (Are they real guitars or clever keyboards? Very nice indie effect either way). Loved the lyrics which have a kind of gallows humour about them (we may be doomed on a cosmic scale, but hey, let's go down the chippy... genius!).
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Yes, that guitar riff stole the show for me, really melodic and catchy. And a great theme, kind of serious-not-serious, but which has a message if we/Greta want it.
I was a bit worried that something might have happened to Grandpa when the ghost party section came round - but that part's quite effective to bring us back to earth (hoho) about what's really going on.
MichaelA is back!
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Nice one @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) - as others have said very poppy sound and super vocals ;D
Here in the coldlands, we would welcome a few degrees warmer - polar bears be damned!
Good stuff
Paul
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Absolutely fantastic @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) ......i mean a fish supper always tastes good to me :) great song, great lyrics, great production. I think its great. Everytime i listen to one of your tracks it always puts a smile on my face :)
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Great fun this one!
Love the synth(?) riff (but a tad too up front in mix).
Mix could use a little more low end and vox is a little dominating, a "fuller" snare would probably drive the (great) beat even more.
An almost "rock" outro, me like!
A really, really good pop song, well done!
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Just love that you take the piss..just love it!!! oh..and it's a good song mate. :)
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@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) - A great pop song Michael, hooky as hell, liked the BV's nice and tight, and perfectly placed.
Must have been quite a bit of work.
Production is spot on too.
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Great show!!
almost, well is it really PC?
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...is it really PC?
Hopefully not :)
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I don't have anything to add, but I wanted you to know I listened and enjoyed!
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@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274)
Michael, you have a really interesting voice. Unmistakeable from the first notes that you sing. You also have a prominent voice in that your lyrics invite the listener to engage and consider what you are singing.
Some are waiting for a big chorus. This one doesn't fit the bill in that respect. However, I don't subscribe to strict song structures. And enjoy songs that have their own agenda. This one meanders across the landscape, twisting and turning in it's own very unique way.
Well done
Paul
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Thanks to everyone who commented on the track. I'm going to tweak it at some point, specifically making the real guitar sound less synthy, due to its chorus, phase and virtual amp settings. I thought I'd already done some individual replies last week, but must have experienced an internet blip when I pressed send. But thanks anyway, I am most encouraged by your comments, one and all.
Michael
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This is seriously outstanding work Michael - I am lost for words, so much fun! Musically, it's that happy bouncy jangly Smiths thing going on with Morrissey's doom laden lyrics.
Thank you for cheering me up, you naughty, naughty boy ;D ;D ;D ;D I am in awe mate!!
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Funny,clever and so brilliantly subversive. You realise that you will never shake off "Hip Hop Grandad" don't you? A bit like how Bowie never really shook off "The Laughing Gnome" but in your case a better song is guilty. As for this one, well it just illustrate what a great songwriter you are and what a great, cool attitude and vibe your writing gives off. They say that great authors have a "voice" which defines how they use language and I think you have that as a songwriter.
M
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Thanks @Bill Saunders (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18525), that’s really encouraging feedback. I have always been partial to a bit of jangly guitar, which I suppose is not especially in fashion these days. But when it makes a comeback I will definitely be there! :D
Hi @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653), yeah I know Grandad will always be looking over my shoulder! Actually it took quite a bit of effort to come up with any kind of song after doing that one, so I am much relieved to have chalked one up on the board! Anyhow, thanks for the kind words and support, much appreciated.