The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat

Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: Bumble Bee on May 31, 2020, 11:10:40 PM

Title: Stay with me
Post by: Bumble Bee on May 31, 2020, 11:10:40 PM

Stay with me
( This is about being bullied at school , I wasn’t really only when I had fits , I got called loony - Katie

Stay with me
when summer turns to winter
and dreams go bitter in my head

nightmares in the dark
yesterday’s child , still inside your soul
looking for answers to make you whole

Stay with me
as my childhood on the swings
comes face to face with me now

don’t go away when the devil calls
and memories start lying to me
but I never forget their names

their voices fade away
but the words never soften
I wonder where they are now ?

Stay with me
when summer turns to winter
and dreams go bitter in my  head

Title: Re: Stay with me
Post by: Sebandme on June 02, 2020, 04:58:47 AM

A lovely set of lyrics :)  particularly like the first verse very potent. The subject matter to is good as someone who was bullied at school it definitely resonated with me. Well done.

Title: Re: Stay with me
Post by: wkamen on July 04, 2020, 01:05:42 AM

Are we posting lyrics or just words ???????/

Title: Re: Stay with me
Post by: simonjol on July 07, 2020, 11:35:33 AM

This is an interesting lyric and i like the slightly obscured storytelling.

and dreams go bitter in my head

...that is a standout line, very strong and cuts me to the quick. Great potential for a melody hook.

Nice work!

Si

Title: Re: Stay with me
Post by: rightly on July 09, 2020, 03:31:26 PM

Yes this works for me too.
The proof of the pudding is always a listen though. 
Stripped back lyrics, good ones.

Title: Re: Stay with me
Post by: ASecretMeaning on July 11, 2020, 06:55:23 PM

Well done, this is nice.  As others have said, the opening verse I think is particularly good.

Title: Re: Stay with me
Post by: Bumble Bee on July 11, 2020, 09:53:23 PM

Thanks I've been having a bad time with my mental health lately x

Because of my mental health issues I can't really deal with the addiction of Facebook , Twitter etc and forums like this so I'm leaving but if anyone wants to contact me please do .

Katiewilsonisamazing@gmail.com

Thanks

Title: Re: Stay with me
Post by: hardtwistmusic on July 29, 2020, 03:33:45 AM

Someone asked "Are we posting lyrics, or just words." 

This was unquestionably a lyric (or a poem) not just a collection of words. 

The meaning is vague, but then so are the meanings of many of the finest lyrics ever written.  (Think "Kiss From a Rose")  That I don't instantly figure out every detail of the story or emotions you are expressing doesn't make it any less potent.  In fact, it creates an 'intrigue factor' and leads me to want to see it again to build upon my first impressions. 

I think it's an impressive lyric,