The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: MichaelA on May 17, 2020, 12:46:06 PM
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I was quite enthusiastically inspired by the permission to leave my comfort zone provided by the Alien Genre Challenge. So - also a bit bored in lockdown -I got on with it right away. Of the two genres I was allocated - Reggae and Hip Hop- the latter seemed a complete mystery to me. Plus I could never imagine rapping for one minute.
But I did choose Hip Hop for perverse and masochistic reasons ;D - and then went to work finding some Hip Hop drum loops that sat well together, which at least would give me the foundation of the genre. Together with a verse bass line that follows the bass drum, lots of rhyming rap and some (daft) effects I thought I'd given the song a nod in Hip Hop's direction.
But I've added some bluesey/jazzy/trippy musical embellishments that completely muddle the melting pot. Fun though! For me anyway :)
To get round the problem of a guy of my generation, and cultural upbringing, convincingly doing rap I invented a new persona. So in this song I take on the acting role of a Grandad who would be - believe it or not - even slightly older than me! And I have dug out the soft Lancashire dialect of my old home town to complete the act and add to the incongruity of it all.
I'm slightly nervous of putting this in the public domain ;) Gulp, but here goes! There's a delete button on Soundcloud after all!
https://soundcloud.com/michael-a-duffy/grandads-turned-hip-hop (https://soundcloud.com/michael-a-duffy/grandads-turned-hip-hop)
Lyrics
Teeth like sharks my wife's remarks
When out shopping in Marks & Sparks
A tidy flat cap for this cool chap
She said fancy dress? You deserve a clap
So I chose in haste, again not her taste
Nice trousers with elasticated waist
Let's pay, let's go, I've still got it y'know
She cried no, no
But I'm no sad clown, so off with the frown
Grandson was in town so I tracked him down
And I made him stop at his fave fashion shop
I said what's this music? He said Hip Hop
I goes Chuck I'd like to get your look
He said I'm sixteen Grandad what the fluck
I says Sprout don't doubt me mojo's out
He cried no, no!
Lad said Gran
Make it stop
Grandad's turned Hip Hop
But I was glad that I had
Though the lad took it bad, more than a tad mad
Proper sad
So I went underground with this Hip Hop sound
Wore my baseball cap the wrong way round
Me gangsta hoodie thing and all that bling
Tattoos smacked large on everything
I said lad don't be mad, Chuck ain't I bossed it?
He said OMG Grandad you've lost it
Then on the patio, break-dance cameo
He cried no, no
So I said let's stroll to my watering hole
For a pint with my homies and crown green bowls
Keepin' MC time rappin' out in rhyme
It ain't no crime Big G digs Grime
He's like Grandad you ain't no Eminem
No Snoop Dog, Stormzy, none of them
But my mates yelled Yo, go Grandad-io
He cried no, no
RPT Chorus
But from Big Granny Chief there was no relief
I says what's up Your Majesty, why all the grief?
She goes who’s s this chubby Mr Hip Hop hubby
With your kecks down your arse and your gangsta hoody
You're a fashion mishap, where's that nice old chap
With his afternoon nap and his dapper flat cap
I says don't agitate, babe it's just too late
I is Big G of Hip Hop and fame awaits
Lad said Gran
Make it stop
Grandad's turned Hip Hop
But I was glad that I had
Though the lad took it bad, more than a tad mad
And me wife
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I was waiting with anticipation @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) after our Friday evening chat. What a work of genius. The lyrics had me laughing out loud. Love the new persona. You've smashed this genre, Yo ! I loved the ending btw ;D
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Are you sure this is outside your normal genre?! From the rhythm track I actually get a slight classic "Jump Around" feel. I also like the doubled voices for emphasis - very 80s hiphop that too. And I highly appreciate that you don't just rhyme the end of the line, internal rhymes are the bomb.
Great ending too.
Where next?!
Fun times.
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This is really dope man. Love the lyrics and the groove :D
Best line:
He cried no, no!
Some of the keys sound a bit - IDK - carnival? - but what the hang! - knowhatimsayin?
You've set the bar pretty high for hitting the genre - god help the rest of us ;D ;D
Paul
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Absolutely brilliant, loved it, very funny clever lyrics made even better by the droll delivery in a Lancashire accent.Great backing track as well really like the hip hop drums and other references you've incorporated.1st Class.
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This is fabulous, Michael.
I was toying with doing something "funny" myself...but you've blown that idea out of the water with this laugh-out-loud masterpiece...I'll have to go deadly serious for my entry, i think...as I couldn't come up with anything that could even begin to compete with this.
Not just funny, either...it's brilliant and very clever too.
'ip 'op ;D
Hooray!
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Excellent! I agree with everybody else. No more to say.
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@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) - i won’t be listening to it until I’ve finished mine, I don’t want to be influenced by your piece...it’s harder than I thought to rap and i really admire them, bro
Dayamm
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Wow the alien challenge is going to be a discovery of very original songs !
cool and fun !
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Hi all, well what a relief people seem to like it! I thought there would be a chance I'd be in hiding by now, ha ha! ;D
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269), great comments. I may well encore my new persona in the future. I think he is more charismatic than me ;)
@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124), yes I think I went for echoes of earlier Hip Hop and glad you spotted most of the tricks I stole. It was fun indeed and yeah maybe genre hopping as copyrighted by @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) would be a rewarding way to go! Cheers.
Hi @Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) , glad you enjoyed it and yep I know some of the instrumentation snippets were a little less Hip Hop, but I was just improvising on the synth to the backing track and thought what I came up with was just fun. I originally had a more cinematic sound that was a bit more genre authentic, but felt it was all too serious in the end. Might do a Carnival song next after your comment. ;D
Thanks @grubstar, glad you appreciated Grandad's Lancashire accent ;)
Cheers @PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) - 'laugh out loud masterpiece', can I quote you on the record sleeve? ;) Grandad blushed at that comment.
Talking of 'Grandad' I was reading yesterday about Clive Dunn and his one-hit-wonder song of early 1971. He was just 51 at the time but had made a speciality most of his career of playing much older men. Anyway in an interview I read he said the song 'bought me a house'. It made me realise that I've missed out on my one-hit-wonder comedy song potential, as these days nobody makes money from singles. Bloody shame that, but never mind, at least I can share my creation with about a dozen folk on here! ...would have liked the house though. In Portugal I think.
Thanks @CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928) and @Melusine2 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22580) for the appreciation. Good idea @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308), I'd have done the same thing if you'd have published first.
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Oh my Gaaaaaaaawd! This is going to win the competition hands down - no one is going to get anywhere near it. One of the cleverest, funniest, wittiest and genius things I have ever heard on this forum. I laughed till I cried. Alan Bennett would be proud of your lyrics and musical arrangement is perfect - shades of "Matchstick Cats & Dogs" with the brass band touches. What a bloody brilliant piece of music.
M
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Hi @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653), now that's the kind of feedback I'm talking about. ;D I shall print it out hand it to my wife next time she complains about my live composing pains - "Now what shite is that you're singing?" - and similar insults I endure if she's watching Eastenders in the next room!
Thanks very much!
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@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274)
Everyone else has said it, brilliant, made me laugh my socks off, especially the ending, amazing. No one can beat this.......
Made my day...
Cheers
Jamie
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Lolz Michael. reminded me of Frank Sidebottom... didn't he do a rap once? :P
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This is great Michael. Lovely idea & excellent ending.Well done.
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Hi @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125), glad you enjoyed a laugh - I was a bit nervous putting this one out as the vocal delivery was a big gamble :D
Cheers @sterix, yep I did like some of Frank Sidebottoms stuff, but can't remember him rapping. I will have a search. Simple Northern humour, like me though.
Hi @5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535) , thanks for the listen. I have been looking for an excuse to employ that ending for ages. Now it's done! Glad you enjoyed it. :)
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@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) this is pure genius as we say over here.... From beginning to end just flat out amazing. And the concept - you are mad in the best possible way.. So inventive, so clever, so funny..
This?
"But from Big Granny Chief there was no relief
I says what's up Your Majesty, why all the grief?
She goes who’s s this chubby Mr Hip Hop hubby
With your kecks down your arse and your gangsta hoody
You're a fashion mishap, where's that nice old chap
With his afternoon nap and his dapper flat cap
I says don't agitate, babe it's just too late
I is Big G of Hip Hop and fame awaits"
Inspired!!!
Just fanbloodytastic! You have outdone yourself...
K
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Michael,
Fantastic. :D
The delivery is just awesome.
The whole Hip Hop gangster thing makes me laugh in general - trying so valiantly to be cool and dangerous without an original bone in their bodies. Nothing quite like acting out the stereotype.
This just destroys the whole image - which is great.
An absolute treat.
Digger
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What an ending, not sure whether I was enjoying the hip hop or the comedy! Great job @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274). Worried for mine now which is only emerging very slowly!
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@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) - Nearly finished mine, so I'm OK to take a listen, it ain't easy do that rap thang, and you've really pulled this off beautifully, it does remind me of a 1979 shot at the No1 spot, would have made it there too, very accomplished, and would love to hear it on boom boxes in Southern LA.
Clever ending Michael.
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Thanks for these last round of comments guys. I think I might be turning into Hip Hop Grandad round the house, so this is worrying!
Anyhow 'pure genius' from you @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820), another comment to print out and stick on my fridge to annoy the missus who would rather have me doing lockdown DIY 24/7 than writing daft songs. Well not quite, but I don't seem to be able to persuade her to become my Hip Hop granny groupie! But as I mentioned on the Friday Zoom thing, I might let this well received Hip Hop Grandad have a short solo career with his own SC account and two or three more songs over the next year until the joke runs dry. Thinking about it, definitely! ;D Glad you liked it and thanks for the comments.
So yes @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308), shame it is not 1979 or thereabouts, as I could also imagine this doing well as a novelty single. Damn, why didn't I think of it back then! Too busy trying to be cool, I expect. Those days have long since gone, of course 😀
Hi @PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588) and @digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823), glad this amused you, thanks for listening. It was a lot of fun to do and definitely took me well out of my comfort zone. Cheers!
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Really funny Michael. You've made the genre your own via a brilliant parody. I liked the shades of brass band in the backing too and as has already been said, the ending is brilliant, possibly the best song ending ever on this forum...
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@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) "well I'm glad that I had" listen to this absolutely amazing all the way through could not take the smile of may face. Seriously amazing loved it! Congratulations man! I'm still smiling, brilliant.
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Hola @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274)
hahahah I enjoyed listening to your song, thank you, I am still imagining the situation... Excellent ides!!!
I love trumpet blasts, they remind me of my father-in-law who was a very famous trumpet player in his time !!! the rest of the instrumentation gives that peculiar color to the song.
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This is one helluva hi bar... blimey! 8) :)
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Hi there @PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) , @Sebandme (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22491) , @shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) and @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233). Thanks very much for the listen and glad you all enjoyed the fun! ;D
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Ha ha! Great stuff MichaelA.
I think the challenge has definitely broadened all our sound and rhythm pallettes..I'm especially fond of the drum loop sound here.
Your soft Lanc rap is incongruous yes but has the rhythm down faultlessly. Nutty stuff Michael which ought to really be a localised genre of its own after all there seem to be dozens of sub-genres of everything these days.
I'll leave you to name the new genre though as you have the knack for the funnies.
And yes, brilliant ending!
Superbly realised and done.
Great entry!
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I think you just nailed the sub-genre naming @Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra yourself. 'Lanc Rap', that'll do nicely. Thanks for the appreciative words too! :)