The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Sebandme on May 06, 2020, 10:25:55 AM
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Hello everyone, I hope you are all keeping safe and not finding lockdown to difficult.
A new song I've written basically about myself or a reflection on myself, that I dont tend pay attention to anything other than music I dont have Instagram Facebook etc I very rarely watch the news. Living life by the mantra of I'm alright doing what I'm doing kind of thing. Anyway hope that makes sense to you all. As always thankyou very much for taking the time to check it out.
As always love to hear your feedback and thoughts.
Listen to I'm Alright by Sebastian And Me on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/sebastianandme/im-alright
I'm Alright
Walking down the street with my headphones on,
I'm not paying attention to anyone.
I'm alright, I'm doing ok.
I dont need no back street paper stand,
To much for me to understand.
Im alright I'm doing just fine
Do do do do I'm singing
Do do do do I'm singing
Do do do do I'm singing, alright.
Why? Is a question I've never asked,
Why? Because I've never been that arsed
I'm alright I'm doing just fine
Life can get far to political,
It's as clear as cloudy lemonade,
I'm alright the taste is just the same.
I'm alright because,
Nothing lasts forever,
But can this get any better.
The timeline of your life,
If you blink you might miss it,
It will be over in just a minute.
Do do do do I'm singing
Do do do do I'm singing
Do do do do I'm singing, alright.
Do do do do I'm singing
Do do do do I'm singing
Do do do do I'm singing, alright.
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Hi
Cool tune.
Got a great punk/indie vibe.
Reminded me of the Killers and such bands with a bit of Oasis thrown in.
Effect works well on the vocal.
Liked the intro. :)
Digger
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@digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823) thanks for checking it out really do appreciate it.
I was unsure on two things, the intro....was just trying to be different.
And the distorted vocals.
But glad you liked it, thanks for checking it out.
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Hey Seb, what a cool uplifting indie rock track. The intro is great - sets the scene just fine, and I loved the energy with which it came in. I thought the distorted vocals worked well in the verses - maybe I'd be tempted to take the effect off for the choruses though, for a bit of variety and to make the choruses even more uplifting. Maybe some BVs in the final chorus too would be sweet. The drums were great. Loved it lyrically - I always love songs that celebrate music itself, ya know? Top life-affirming tune.
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@PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) cheers for the feedback. So really good points there. I may revisit it.
So glad you liked the intro, I work on the railway so was just a thought I had, although wasnt sure if it was abit......well cringe!
Thanks for checking it out though means alot.
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Hello
You've certainly got an ear for making great indie music...as I remember from your previous songs...and this is brilliant too.
I enjoyed the effect on the vocal too...dunno if I'd ever have the courage to try that...but this has made me consider it for sure...
A great song, mate!
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@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) thankyou very very much indeed. Yes the distorted vocals were brave as I just didnt know if would work, although I did like it I think @PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) has a point on the second chorus would benefit from clearer vocals. Thanks again for checking it out I do appreciate ALOT. :) :) :) long live indie music Haha.
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This is fabulous right from the start. Like the vocal effect, a kinda Arctic Monkeys vibe. Great driving guitars and the chorus really picks up to give you a great big kick up the ass. Love the guitar break as well. Thought this was great. My only minor thought would be to put in a drum fill before the chorus, a big da da da da da da da da ascending in volume just to give it extra balls (I hope you understood that last bit :o )
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@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) thank you so much glad you dig it.
Definitely take your points on board. Drums is something I constantly struggle with. Glad you enjoyed it. Thankyou for checking it out.
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This is awesome! The lead guitar is seriously sick, especially the solo...woah!! I definitely like the intro, I've always liked the idea of having a clip of someone talking like that at the start but it's really hard to pull off and make it fit and not feel out of place, but you made it work great.
It would be pretty cool if as you were starting the part that goes "I'm alright because, nothing lasts forever..." you did something different with the drum beat. Like slow it down for the first couple of lines and then start building up anticipation to make the rest of the section 'soar' if that makes any sense..like anthemic kind of.
Also the distorted vocals are definitely a great idea but like @PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) said, experiment with having clean vocals in one of the sections just for more dynamics, I wouldn't be surprised if you tried it and you realized it sounds better all distorted tbh but it's worth experimenting with.
Great song, man, honestly!! :D :D
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Hey man, we’ll I loved it! The intro kicks ass and has anyone ever told you you have wonderful doo doos??🤣🤷🏼♂️ I just love the energy of the whole thing. Regarding the vocal fx...I think they really work, but I just would have backed off them a touch in the verses (it’s a personal taste thing) I just thought that in the first verse especially they were a smidge too wet. Really great song chap!🎶👊🏻🎶
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@adamwolf (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22501) cheers for checking it out and glad you like the intro, you've definitely got some good suggestions on the intro that I never thought of. I'm glad you like the lead guitar :) cheers for checking it out.
@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) - nope no one has ever said I have wonderful do dos so thanks for being the first person to say so :)
Thanks for checking it out so glad you liked the intro! :D
Yes definitely take on board your comments about the distortion on the voice maybe needs tweaked a little. Once again thank you for leaving feedback guys it's much appreciated.
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This is a really catchy tune and it's carefree sentiment is a perfect antidote for these gloomy times. Well sung and lots of memorable bits throughout.
The song seems to be anchored in early new wave with an added layer morphing it into a more contemporary indie vibe. You seem very comfortable in your chosen style. Cheered me up too for sure. ;)
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@Sebandme (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22491)
Hi, really good song with a proper hooky chorus. Like the vocal effect but I also think it would be better if it dropped out at the chorus. Especially like the intro and the solo.Nice guitar sounds too.
Very enjoyable.
Cheers
Jamie
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Really like the energy here - great drive from the guitars. Love the middle 8 with the drawn out syllables to contrast with the verses. The lemonade verse is great too. Nice work!
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@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) thanks for checking it out and glad it cheered you up.
Thanks for your comments I am trying to be more contemporary so glad that came through to you!
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) so chuffed you like the intro seems like a good decision to put it in. Theres consensus on the Vocal effect on the chrous that be better without so that's definitely something I will look at. Thanks again for checking it out
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@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) thankyou so much for taking the time to listen and then leave feedback it's much appreciated. I'm really glad you liked the cloudy lemonade line I also enjoyed that line :) glad you enjoyed the track.
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Well yes, this is fab!!! Great intro and there's a great hooky pacy feel to this.. Love the theme - straightforward and engaging, lovely lyric.. Loved it @Sebandme (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22491)
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Thanks @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) really chuffed you liked the intro! Thanks for checking it out.
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Nice Indie/Pop/Rock workmanship. Good structure and well written. Good recording and producution also. No complaints. As mentioned, congrats on the hooky chorus.
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"I'm alright because,
Nothing lasts forever,
But can this get any better.
The timeline of your life,
If you blink you might miss it,
It will be over in just a minute".
I really liked this lyric and musical segment. The rest of the lyric is OK...didn't intrest me much, until the mentioned above passage.
The music is pretty good.....just think you need some stronger lyrics to push this one over. The performances are really good.......
Good stuff, all in all..............
-Tom
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@OleAnders (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22023) thankyou for taking the time to check it out and giving feedback its much appreciated.
@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) thanks for checking it out, I take your comments on board and glad some of the song interested you.
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@OleAnders (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22023) thankyou for taking the time to check it out and giving feedback its much appreciated.
@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) thanks for checking it out, I take your comments on board and glad some of the song interested you.
Hey guy....just to clarify.....most lyrics are not all that interesting to me.
For instance, I love the Beatles music.......so much of their lyrics are really simple, but good....just not that interesting ;-)
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I find this difficult because i like it, i don't like it, i love it, i don't love it, aaaargh!! ;D
The intro is great. The guitar sound could be a bit harder for me. Bass is ok, doesn't do much which is great when it's reinforcing the verse but could maybe add more to the chorus?
Not sure about the vocal effect, I don't hate it but is it too much all the way through? not sure!
Guitar solo is cool 8)
Great chorus, just think you could make more of it, make it more anthemic.
Drums (my own current nemesis!) don't drive it enough although there are some good fills.
Please take these comments constructively because I really did like it, I just think there's more in there!
Cheers
Pete
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@PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588) first of all thankyou for taking the time to go have a listen it's much appreciated and comments are always welcomed.
The concerns you have are the same ones I had when recording Admittedly the bass was a little bit of cop out as it really doesn't move.
Drums are a pain the backside for everything I do I hate dealing with them, i was using software from ujam not sure if you've heard of them but it's pretty cool this was the first time using it.
Effect on the vocal seems abit marmite for people but without it really didnt do for me so I kept it as Is.
Thanks for the comments and for checking it out.
Cheers