The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: cowparsleyman on May 03, 2020, 06:19:45 PM
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Hmmm, well this is not one for rock lovers out there, it's a piece about relaxtion, it's about 'And bend and stretch...and hold.... KEEP Breathing'
It's about whales in the ocean, and flowers in the meadow and all thing bright and beautiful.
It won't be over in a trice, in fact it might seem like the end can't come too soon to some folk.
Anyway, here's the lyrics 'Sanctuary' that's it...
It just what came into my head, so no external influences at all.
CPW hasn't heard it yet...Wish me luck
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Yikes Rich @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) I had to get my crystals and joss sticks out for this one and lie in a darkened room. I'm just floating man ;D Very atmospheric mate. There are some touches of Pink Floyd when the guitar kicks in but there's a lot of other subtle little stuff going down as well. I made it to the end of the 9 minutes as well
Now get back to your Rap practice ;D
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@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) - blimey, well done for hanging in there, appreciate the listen.
Kept thinking of @tone (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=1) when mixing it...I remember walking home from work listening to his 10min epic....couldn’t get to the end.
Btw it was HUGE ...150mb, and caused my daw to crash many times grrr, but loved trying out some of my favourite synths. Pigments2, prophet V, thorn, hybrid 3...hurrrah
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Wow! This track had pretty much everything. A very peaceful and dreamlike flow, like some sort of medicine for the soul (which may be exactly what we need in these trying times...). I enjoyed every minute of it. I especially liked that David Gilmour type guitar part and the jazzy solo. Beautiful.
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Hi CPM
Thanks for tagging me! I'm glad you've experienced the enormous fun of just letting your brain leak out into a music production software program. I have to say this is a very enjoyable track, and yes - I made it to the end!
Nice complimentary palate of instruments you've put together here. Was definitely channeling my inner OMMM :)
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JEEZO @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) , blimey that was emphatically atmospheric love the guitars, reminiscent of pink floyd. Well done man, its epic.
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Yeah this works well a touch of Pink Floyd as pomps said..just thought some of the quiet bits were a bit too long.. :) but some very stratospheric moods created in there, had me floating in space for sure. 8) :)
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Hi @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308), an interesting challenge you set yourself there. There are paradoxes inherent in the genre in that if it all comes across as improvised then I think it's a cop out to call it a composition. I think you've not fallen into that trap and there is definitely structure to your piece. At least three movements, in fact, bit like a mini symphony. With the last movement feeling the most like a 'song' a bit, before falling away again into the peace. It's all kind of 'structured informality' and I think it works as you've concentrated on creating light and shade throughout and there are some lovely touches in there.
As the piece keeps progressing it succeeds in keeping interest too, as unlike a lot of ambient, there is a lot of variety and development with all these mini-sections you introduced. Really great experiment from you, well done.
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thanks again for those that took the time to listen to this.
@The Estuary (SWE) (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22380) - Glad you like it, never had a song reviewed as beautiful, so many thanks.
@tone (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=1) - my pleasure man...your piece was always in the back of my mind, especially the length, I had no fear to have it 9 minutes.
@Sebandme (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22491) - Thanks It wasn't supposed to sound like pink floyd, as I've not really heard much of their work, but I take it as a compliment.
@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) - Thanks Kev, I kind of thought the same about the quiet bits being a bit long, but for yoga, that's a good thing, so they stayed against my don't.
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) - Yes you sussed me out, I thought of the piece as a walk though different rooms, each one had a different vibe, and the comparison to a classical symphony is a right compliment (thats one on my genre list), and something that is drummed into one when learning classsical music, keep the dynamics moving, a piano isn't called a pianoforte for no reason, piano = quiet forte =loud (for those that don't already know). In the digital world the equivalent is use that Velocity window in the MIDI editor, it makes so much difference, nobody place with the same velocity on a real keyboard.
I was a bit hesitant about the last movement (the one with the Double Bass), it did seem to me come over as a song, which I didn't want, so in all of those movements, this was my least favourite
You know me by now Michael, I get bored easily, so I won't go on long without changing something...thanks for the review.
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Hi,
I'm not a fan of this genre - I think it takes a long time to say very little but that's the Tin Pan Alley in me speaking!You've used some lovely sounds on this and I can hear what people are saying about the Pink Floyd influence - Division Bell, anyone?
I have to say I admire this more than I like it if that makes sense. I certainly couldn't make anything like this so I've got to give you kudos for the technical skill.
M
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@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308)
Hi Rich, this is an entertaining piece, my interest in it grew as it developed, which is a clever way of engaging the listener. The guitar in the second element is reminiscent of Dave Gilmour and there is a phrase in it that is very familiar from one of their albums (might be the intro to Shine on you crazy diamond?). The last element was my favourite, loved the bass and the trumpet/cornet?. Very brave to post a 9 min song ;D. Really good, you should be selling this on a loop to New age/vegans all over the World..... 8) ;D
Cheers
Jamie
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Hi Rich,
Very ambitious. Some very nice soundscapes.
Agree with Jamie about the Crazy Diamond guitar motif which appears at 2.48 and repeats a few times.
I love Shine on You Crazy Diamond in all its parts, so this being a kindred spirit sat well.
Would have perhaps liked a little more energy injecting at times- blast of guitar or something - but may well have killed the mood.
Nice one.
Digger
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Hi CPM
I must admit I was fearing the worst when I read the introduction and saw the length but surprisingly I found it both an interesting and quite enjoyable track. Your high level of production skills and musicanship are obvious throughout and I liked the way the piece developed over time. Personally, I think the nod towards Pink Floyd are not really needed and I would have liked to hear a bit more original experimentation with processed guitars etc instead. Nevertheless, its still a good piece of electronica though.
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Again thanks for the listens and considered reviews...
@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) - Cheers Alan, you were very brave to even attempt to listen to this one, I appreciate it. I'm glad it didn't make sense.
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125)
Any Pink Floyd nods are purely co incidental, I've not heard 'Crazy Diamond', I don't have any Pink Floyd albums at all, an old girlfriend had the LP with 'Money' on it, but that's all I liked on that, they were never my cup of tea...sorry, maybe I should take a listen I might like 'em now. I guess I might has heard the riff somewhere I suppose, subliminally. Glad you liked the trumpet and sax, they were samples from Splice, a bit chopped up to fit the existing chord structures.
I'd be happy to flog it to anyone, dead horses included.
@digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823) - About the role of the guitar in this one....CPW doesn't go for guitar solos, especially not for her Yoga, it's all peace and tranquility, so although I agree with you, there should be some crescendo maybe with a lovely pushed strat, but for peace in our household, that might trot along as a remix...
@Grubstar (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22532) - Thanks Mr Grub, it;'s very nice of you to say, I agree there could have been more experimentation, maybe next time it won't be for CPW, so then I'm free to do what I want, although it was good to have an implicit brake on my imagination, last time it went for a stroll it ended up as 'You must come with us"...
Thanks again to all
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Oooh. I right enjoyed that 👍👍 interesting from start to finish, as per usual @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308). Bond just went off world with Massive Attack to meet Blade Runner. Cool stuff CPM. Cx
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@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308)
Two words.
Feckin' hippy. :P
A very cool track Rich,being a dyed in the wool Floyd fan since 1967,this is right up my street.
At no time did the track drag it's arse,for me it was a very pleasant listen. The voice repeating 'sanctuary' may take the missus out of her contemplative zone tho....it was a little spooky and jarred with the peace and love thang.
BTW,tell Jamie he needs a hoof in the fork for not knowing 'Crazy Diamond'. >:( ;D
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Cool and very successful in doing what it set out to do. I particularly liked the rockier, floydier section. The whaley bit from around 5'20 had a bit of an RJD2 feel in places, and later on the trumpets (?) really did their job well.
I have probably forgotten most of it now, except that the feeling felt good.
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Wow. I started to listen to this and when I woke up I was cured of smoking, arthritis and an unbearable need to stroke stray llamas... all of which I never suffered from to begin with! :P
Seriously though, nice track. Nice and relaxing (yes, I made it to the end too - then again two of my favourite songs by my favourite band are 10 and 24 minutes resepctively!). :D
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Hey CPM, I'm actually quite into ambient (Brian Eno & Future Sound of London in particular) so was well into all 9 minutes of this. Really liked the evolution of it and the 3 separate sections BUT I thought it would be better if you didn't have the tiny gaps at 2:19 and 5:00, as that made it feel like 3 separate pieces rather than one long flow... can you paper over the crack somehow? I did liked the Floydiness in the middle section but I think I'd substitute the riff at 2:51 as those 4 notes are just toooo similar to the 'Shine on You Crazy Diamond' riff, it doesn't need to be that similar to still tick all the right Gilmour boxes. I particularly liked the appearance of the distorted brass sound at 7 minutes - and the third section was probably my favourite of all, with that fleeting hesitant bass line... I could have enjoyed another few minutes of that. Well thanks for clearing my chakras and opening my third eye this morning, I really enjoyed that one. There can't be many genres left for you to conquer... apart from RAP!
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@PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) - nice to meet you last night, hope dinner was a hit. Thanks for the review and the comments.
I know what you mean about the cracks, and they were indeed looked at, but didn’t find a solution...yet.
I never heard crazy diamond...so I’m not going to remove it.
Cpw heard it today and doesn’t like the length of phase 1, the spoken sanctuary, and the trumpet...
I’ll do a remix once I’ve finished a few other collabs and remixes.
La la la la gotte aus elysium - Opera practice
Mf pussy, booty check this - rap practise.
QED
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I admire your attention to detail very much.
I'm afraid I couldn't do anything like this even if my life depended on it.
Very cool soundscape, though...and it did somehow evoke images of a cold damp place such as a church where you could really find sanctuary, just like the olden days. I often wondered though, if you had sought sanctuary in a church...wouldn't they just wait til you got bored or hungry or whatever to such a degree that you came out...at which point they'd catch you and do whatever you feared they would do to you that made you seek sanctuary in the first place. Eg Julian Assange.
Anyway...I'm rambling again...
A top piece of work.
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Very chilled.
Not my cup of Red Rose, but sure sounds like a quality piece of work for what I know of the genre (which is zilch).
But ya gotta know that's a pink floyd riff man :D
Good luck with it :D
Paul
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I like the atmosphere.............very skillfully done.
Smooth....like drinking my fav. Rye whiskey while listening to "The Wall"
;-) Tom
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Gu @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308)
An ethereal and aquatic composition, all in wave motion ... Very relaxing, spatial and nostalgic
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9 minutes!?!? You're kidding me, right!?!?!
OK, I did listen all the way but I must agree with @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) on this.
I appreciate the craft but the result is not really for me I'm afraid.
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@Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) - really appreciate your tenacity with this, it’s not really my bag either, that’s the thing wirh this genre jumping suite, ive never done most of these and sone i would not go out of my way to listen to, this was an example, ambient isn’t for me.
But if you’re into yoga it might be just the ticket.
Maybe one day you’ll be chilling out ob some beach, no cares in the world and need a piece to fall asleep to...remember me
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Hey @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) .....I have this playing pretty loud right now on the studio monitors. It's just right for getting me all laid back here in the studio as I'm going to be working on some vocals in a bit. I'll definitely be all mellow and relaxed.
Definitely feeling the Floyd on this.
8)
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Well, when I saw it was 9 minutes, I was expecting it to drag on and on, so it was a surprise when it was over as quickly as it was! Very relaxing.
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This, like many others, is not my thing.... however, it being 9 minutes, I stuck it on in the kitchen earlier when I was "doing stuff" and I found it a rather lovely accompaniment to my "stuff" and at a certain point I was doing less "doing" and more listening so despite myself, I found myself sucked in.. Very polished production all in all a very calming experience... Star for me was the brass (trumpets??) at around the 6 minute mark..
Impressive!
K