The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: David Christy Jones on April 05, 2020, 03:15:31 AM
-
Hey again everyone!
Loving all the productivity coming out of our respective isolation states.
This is a song I wrote in the week before Ireland went on full lockdown. I live right by the sea and down by my house there's an incredibly popular fresh fish and chips restaurant. It's a brilliant restaurant but very small and cramped. Anyway, I was watching the restaurant from my window on mothers day - about two weeks into the government suggested self isolation (about 3 days before full lockdown). As I live with elderly family, I had been locked down since March 7th.
It was absolutely staggering to see literally hundreds of people coming and going in close contact with each other all day in the restaurant. Anything up to 30 groups crammed into a tiny restaurant at once. Crammed like sardines (pun intended). It occurred to me that this may have been due to it being mothers day, and the only good reason I could imagine to take your older mother to a crammed restaurant during a global pandemic was if you had a secret plan to kill her off and get an early inheritance. Cue me writing this little ditty!
Hope you enjoy!
Lyrics:
I understand the urges,
I know just how you feel.
You want to take old momma dear
Out for a meal.
It's mothers day, and sometimes
Chocolates just won't do.
Don't worry bout the virus,
It just don't apply to you.
But seafood ain't that special.
Unless you had a secret plan;
An elaborate inheritance scam.
She's older than she should have been,
You're only trying to help
Prolonging the inevitable
Won't bring you any wealth, no.
Now although you love your mother,
Although she treats you well.
Giving her the virus could send her straight to hell.
We'd all mourn at the funeral,
We'd all cry at the wake.
But think of all the money that you'd stand to make.
But seafood ain't that special.
Unless you had a secret plan;
An elaborate inheritance scam.
It's totally ingenius,
They'll never catch you in the act.
She'd want you to be happy,
Now you know that's a fact.
Welcome to hell!
"275,000 infections worldwide and more than 11,000 deaths.
Europe continues to struggle to contain the coronavirus.
275,000 infections worldwide and more than 11,000 deaths."
Now I know my mother raised me,
From a boy to a man.
I'm gonna use this virus to execute my plan.
She'd probably get it anyway, So don't feel bad.
She always loved her seafood, the last meal that she'll ever have.
But seafood ain't that special.
Unless you had a secret plan;
An elaborate inheritance scam.
You know it's for the greater good,
She'd want to see you thrive.
It's such a shame that she won't make it out alive.
-
Very pro funky vibe man. Touch of Frank Zappa in there I'm thinking, especially in the mad middle section. Lovely bass sound and great production
-
Beschoffs? Or somewhere fancier :) ? Can't believe the numbnuts... I guess that's why the lockdown was necessary - we're all very disciplined round our parts ;D ;D
Clever song.. great lyrics... very catchy and as has been mentioned great production!
Nice one!
K
-
Beschoffs? Or somewhere fancier :) ? Can't believe the numbnuts... I guess that's why the lockdown was necessary - we're all very disciplined round our parts ;D ;D
Clever song.. great lyrics... very catchy and as has been mentioned great production!
Nice one!
K
Howth?! My my - I didn't realize I was in the presence of a member of the aristocracy! :P Haha, no I'm right down south in the peoples republic! :P
-
Love the lyrics and catchy tune. They both compliment each other in a fun way.
-
@David Christy Jones (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21130)
Hi really enjoyed that, the bass sound was fab and the instrumental section was great, definitely a touch of the Zappa's there ;).Nice harmonies too.
Very enjoyable!
Cheeers
Jamie
-
I'm usually quite polite in my reviews. I know this is supposed to be ironic, but I find it quite distasteful joking about people dying at a time like this. The inheritance joke is scraping the barrel of humour in my view. Hopefully you don't have anyone in your family affected by this virus - unless ha ha, you are after the inheritance.
-
I'm usually quite polite in my reviews. I know this is supposed to be ironic, but I find it quite distasteful joking about people dying at a time like this. The inheritance joke is scraping the barrel of humour in my view. Hopefully you don't have anyone in your family affected by this virus - unless ha ha, you are after the inheritance.
You're entitled to your opinion but I can't help but feel like the message was completely lost on you. Also, I find it quite distasteful to bring somebodies family into the equation, as for all you know I do have family effected by it.
If you honestly feel like it's distasteful to voice anything other than outright sadness and dower dismay at this situation then we'll have to agree to differ. I think humor is a wonderful tool to keep one's head up during all of this.
I am absolutely unrepentant and unapologetic about my song, and I'm sorry that you missed the point of it.
None the less, thank you for your input.
-
Also I must add that in the spirit of Frank Zappa it feels encouraging to be controversial ;)
-
It's quite an accomplished musical piece. Yeah Zappa might have done something similar.
It's funky and I love the bass lines and harmonies.
Lyrically, it is tough to get into a song about a pandemic while folks are suffering and I can see @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) 's point.
Paul