The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: IronKnee on March 27, 2020, 09:35:04 PM
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Hello Everyone :D
It's soooo good to be back. It seems I am going to have a little time on my hands, so I am going to make the best of this oppurtunity to reconnect with my musical brothers and sisters. This is my first recording, I think, in well over a year.........here it is..... 8)
Please...any and all thoughts and first impressions are more than welcome. And I will be sure to pay it all forward. Thanks everyone
“They’re Only Tears”
Words & Music by Tom Tognaci
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14015186
Verse 1
What do you think, living apart?
Have you drowned in your drink? Well, the party’s just started.
So how do you feel, you being all alone?
It all seems so surreal with you crying on the phone
bridge
When you sing about it, the cry in your voice
Just moves me like I don’t have a choice…….
But, to breathe.
chorus
And all these tears are reminding me
why I left behind the insanity
So I’ll dry these tears, just wipe them away
And it will do me good to remind myself they’re only tears
Just water drops…. called tears
Yea, they’re only tears
Verse 2
Where do we go after the fall?
I’m just too numb to feel that there’s anything at all
I can’t feel a thing. The pain was in the drug.
So addicted to your selfish pull of the rug
bridge
When I think about it, the voice in my head
Convinces me to remain in bed…..
….. and, to breathe
chorus
And all these tears are reminding me
why I left behind the insanity
So, I’ll dry these tears, just wipe them away
And it will do me good to remind myself they’re only tears
Just water drops…..called tears
Yea, they’re only tears
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I was so happy to see your name on the list of new posts! I always enjoy your songs. I don't have any suggestions or anything, but I really enjoyed the song. So nice to see you here again!
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Hi Tom, welcome back. This is a lovely song - the chord progressions in the verse are sublime (really like the switch to that minor chord on the second and fourth lines - delicious). The other thing that really struck me was how the progression into the chorus is really smooth... in a lot of songs you have a clear sense of 'OK here comes the chorus....' with a change of direction (which can often be great too!) but in this song it all just flows very naturally like one movement - yet the choruses are still 'big and full' and distinct from the verses... I'm describing this clumsily but in summary it's very smooth and natural but still goes places.... that's what I mean. I think. Ace song.
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Nice to hear from you again...this is every bit as good as I remember you being :)
The verses probably steal the show but the chorus is really engaging and almost conversational with that nice little "just water drops" line
Lovely guitar and a great vocal...and a really good song.
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I was so happy to see your name on the list of new posts! I always enjoy your songs. I don't have any suggestions or anything, but I really enjoyed the song. So nice to see you here again!
So nice to see you, as well CM....and thanks so much for being the first!!
Hi Tom, welcome back. This is a lovely song - the chord progressions in the verse are sublime (really like the switch to that minor chord on the second and fourth lines - delicious). The other thing that really struck me was how the progression into the chorus is really smooth... in a lot of songs you have a clear sense of 'OK here comes the chorus....' with a change of direction (which can often be great too!) but in this song it all just flows very naturally like one movement - yet the choruses are still 'big and full' and distinct from the verses... I'm describing this clumsily but in summary it's very smooth and natural but still goes places.... that's what I mean. I think. Ace song.
Thanks a lot for the comments, PaulyX.......I am happy you like it. These songs don't always work out in the recording process, as they play out in the head when writing them. This song was just written, and there were / are some minor kinks to be worked out still. But I am very happy with it.....and thanks a lot for your generous confirmations.
Nice to hear from you again...this is every bit as good as I remember you being :)
The verses probably steal the show but the chorus is really engaging and almost conversational with that nice little "just water drops" line
Lovely guitar and a great vocal...and a really good song.
Thanks PaulAds....................Thanks for listening and commenting. And thanks for your generous crit, as well.
And thanks to everyone and all who has listened.
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@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
Hi, I thought , what the hell is a teras? :o Lovely guitar picking and the singing was excellent too. I thought the verses were stronger than the chorus, but it all fitted well together.
Enjoyed it!
Cheers
Jamie
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This is great song that I've really enjoyed listening to on a number of occasion.Great acoustic guitar playing, beautiful vocals and great lyrics, perfect!
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Welcome back Tom, so good to hear something new from you!
All your trademarks are there, nice guitar playing and great vocals. Nice song as well, flows effortless and seamless, very smooth.
Recording has improvement potential, it sounds a bit 'distance' and a little boxy but nothing major and it certainly does not mask the qualities of the song or performance.
Well done!
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@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
Hi, I thought , what the hell is a teras? :o Lovely guitar picking and the singing was excellent too. I thought the verses were stronger than the chorus, but it all fitted well together.
Enjoyed it!
Cheers
Jamie
Hi Jamie, and thanks for the listen and comments. And yeah...what are teras? I can only assume that that was my mistake. Anyways....I can't seem to be able to undo that. Oh well....sorry. But, thanks so much for your support!!
And actually, it was the chorus that was inspired first....I wrote the verses around this chorus ;-) Glad you liked them....I was / am a little questioning.
This is great song that I've really enjoyed listening to on a number of occasion.Great acoustic guitar playing, beautiful vocals and great lyrics, perfect!
Thanks Grubstar......your kind and generous words are very much appreciated by me!
Welcome back Tom, so good to hear something new from you!
All your trademarks are there, nice guitar playing and great vocals. Nice song as well, flows effortless and seamless, very smooth.
Recording has improvement potential, it sounds a bit 'distance' and a little boxy but nothing major and it certainly does not mask the qualities of the song or performance.
Well done!
Hey there Jams, it's sooooo nice to hear from you, again. Yeah, I haven't aquired the skill, the will, the space,or the patience to record as beautifully as you. I usually try to fit my recordings through a very small window of time, that allows for some silence. I am always relieved only to get something plausable ;-)
Anyways....thanks for your support....it's all I look forward to!
Thanks Jams....
And thanks to all who have listened!!
-Tom
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Hi Tom,
Love the stripped nature of this.
Lots of character in the vocal.
What this song shows is that the most important part of any song - is the song.
Strip away production, gimmicks, tricks, etc. Does the song stand up with guitar and vocal?
Yes, this really does.
Digger
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Hi again, Tom. There's something really raw and engaging about this. Perhaps that's what made you question the verse lyrics - I think they really convey what the character feels. The crying on the phone is a real hard hitter and the pull of the rug is a thought-provoker.
Definitely like the "it's not the end of the world, although it might seem so tonight" vibe and message. Very cool and relateable.
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Good to see you back Tom - Always like your style, loads of feeling and emotion. Nicely played and performed.
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Hi Tom,
Love the stripped nature of this.
Lots of character in the vocal.
What this song shows is that the most important part of any song - is the song.
Strip away production, gimmicks, tricks, etc. Does the song stand up with guitar and vocal?
Yes, this really does.
Digger
Thanks Digger....I really appreciate your comments....And that is what I strive for. Thanks again!!
Hi again, Tom. There's something really raw and engaging about this. Perhaps that's what made you question the verse lyrics - I think they really convey what the character feels. The crying on the phone is a real hard hitter and the pull of the rug is a thought-provoker.
Definitely like the "it's not the end of the world, although it might seem so tonight" vibe and message. Very cool and relatable.
Thanks Adam......thank you for the kind words of support....this was written from my own experience, from a place and time, many moons ago. I'm glad you can relate....thanks for the fine comments
Good to see you back Tom - Always like your style, loads of feeling and emotion. Nicely played and performed.
Thanks Pompyjazz....man, I try....I'm glad this worked! Thanks soooo much!
And thanks to all who have listened!
-Tom
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Hello Tom, this song is nice and I start listening the playlist, I really like Shes in Love , I'll keep on listening, All by myselfs the vocals ^^, great, have a nice day ^^
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Hello Tom, this song is nice and I start listening the playlist, I really like Shes in Love , I'll keep on listening, All by myselfs the vocals ^^, great, have a nice day ^^
Thanks soooo much for listening. I really appreciate the comments. And thanks for forging forward with some on my playlist.....that means a lot.
After all, it's all us amateur's have ;-)
Thanks, again.....
And thanks to all who have listened!
-Tom
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Hi Tom,
It's really good to have you back on the forum. I haven't heard a song of yours that I don't like. It's great to have a vocals and acoustic guitar song. The song itself is up to your usual standard as is the vocal but I found the reverb on the guitar to be distracting. Just my opinion but I'd have gone a bit drier.
Welcome back and put up more songs!
M
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Hi ironknee
Super wide guitars,
Great vocal delivery, nice work
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Hi Tom,
It's really good to have you back on the forum. I haven't heard a song of yours that I don't like. It's great to have a vocals and acoustic guitar song. The song itself is up to your usual standard as is the vocal but I found the reverb on the guitar to be distracting. Just my opinion but I'd have gone a bit drier.
Welcome back and put up more songs!
M
Thanks montydog for the generous comments. And nice to see you, as well. It's been awhile. Thanks again!!
Hi ironknee
Super wide guitars,
Great vocal delivery, nice work
Thanks, cawproductions.......appreciate the listen and comments!
And thanks to all who have listened!
-Tom
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Hi Tom,
Great to hear you again.
Really liking the tune and the fingerpicking, and your voices sounds neat as ever.
No criticism apart from your spelling in the title!
Just autoplayed all by myself from 2011 - classy.
:-)
neil
ps I enjoyed that collaboration a while back too. We should do it again. Take care.