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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: SlavaB on February 01, 2020, 06:38:07 PM
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Hi guys,
I have started to work towards 2021 and wrote this beast, as always im starving to receive your honest feedback. Thank you so much 8)
Best Regards,
Slava B.
Lyrics :
Verse 1
Sometimes, I see you
A face in a crowd
Walking through my dreams
Calling out out loud
Sometimes I forget
You are gone away
I wake in the sunshine
To a cold and crying day
Verse 2
Sometimes I hold you
But only in my dreams
I wake up and you're gone
Like the moon beams
Sometimes I follow
Down the stony way
Following your footsteps
Never go away
Verse 3
Sometimes I hear you
Laughing down the hail
But I know I can't see you
You're not there at all
Sometimes I hold you
Kiss your sleeping head
But only in my dreams
When I forget you're dead
1 Memory remains my the same
2 Memory remainds me all those days
3 Memory despits all my needs
Final 4 Always see you, in my eyes.
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Brilliant :) @SlavaB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19895) is back. Thought this was fab but somehow missed the full effects of your powerful guitar arsenal. I liked the light and shade that you used though and thought it was a very good song
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+1 with Pj, what have you been doing Slava? We’ve missed you..I’ll take a listen tomorrow...
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Hi
Good write.
Like the contrasts in the song - especially the Memory parts.
On production side - I'd perhaps lower the drums a tad in the mix - just let the guitars come through a bit more especially around the 25 seconds mark - the fuzz guitar seemed too far back.
Enjoyed the song though.
Digger
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Brilliant :) @SlavaB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19895) is back. Thought this was fab but somehow missed the full effects of your powerful guitar arsenal. I liked the light and shade that you used though and thought it was a very good song
Thank you Jon, appreciate. Was out of industry for a couple months at least, as had a fracture on my right palm, and later diagnosed with an enchondroma. So healed up a bit and have started to create again. Thanks for your time gentlemen'sHi
Good write.
Like the contrasts in the song - especially the Memory parts.
On production side - I'd perhaps lower the drums a tad in the mix - just let the guitars come through a bit more especially around the 25 seconds mark - the fuzz guitar seemed too far back.
Enjoyed the song though.
Digger
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Thank you Digger, ill give it a try. Good suggestion tho as I thought about it but thought its just me so left as it is. :)
Best Regards,
Slava B.
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I don't do production, so I can't speak to that, but I can say I enjoyed this quite a bit. I like the sound of it.
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Hi, this is the second song in a row this morning I’m listening to with the title Memory... interesting to see the contrasts 😊. This is very interesting too and good to hear your voice over something a little more delicate than your usual songs. I like the way it builds a lot and the combination of the guitars on the offbeat (it verges on ska at a couple of times) with the heavier guitars in the background. Dig the pronouncistion of the lyrics too, especially when you rrrrroll your rrrrrs.
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Hi SlavaB - The drums coming through give this a nice "live" feel, and I like the contrast between the softer parts and the 'wall of sound' when the guitars kick in. It's great fun and infectious.