The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: adamfarr on January 26, 2020, 01:18:00 PM
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Hi there - missed the competition with this one (though two songs was never going to happen, and anyway always better to ride one horse at a time). Though it also works for Chinese or any other New Year. Wanted to work on my Bond theme but thought it would be a shame to leave this one unfinished. A bit of inspiration from Nathan W. Pyle (this kind of thing https://business.facebook.com/nathanwpyle2/posts/2037433159674670?comment_id=2037592622992057&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R%22%7D).
I have a few rules for New Years songs:
1. Must be easy to sing (while drunk)
2. Must be easy to play (while drunk)
3. Must accommodate audience participation (foot stomping!!)
4. Must be slightly morbid
5. Must not contain the word "auld".
This one almost qualifies. Audience participation courtesy of the other resident Farrs. Was going for a bit of a live and homemade (and not too serious) feel...Cheers!
Once More Around the Star
Once more
Around
The nearest star
Too soon
We'll be
Back where we are
Champagne moments, disappointments
Cookie jars and chocolate bars and
Bumper cars and au revoirs
Once more
Around
The nearest star
The days go by like falling leaves
The calendar's attacked by thieves
Rushing round to get things done
Always circling back to the same spot round the sun
Seconds passing by like rain
Memories fading in the waves
We fight to be forever young
Counting up the times we pass the same spot round the sun
(c) Adam Farr, 2020, All rights reserved
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I enjoyed this!! very clever lyrics! This should be a New Years Standard :)
Ray
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Very cleverly done @adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) and meets all of the stated criteria. Loved how you concentrated on keeping it simple. It worked so well. Glad you guys all enjoyed the party :)
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Hola @adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124)
Your song is a sample of how things are done, the beginning of a whole based on its simplicity. I love the lyrics that portray the inertia that binds us to life, to the universe and to that sun that leads us tied to its trajectory. I like a lot the spirit that your voice conveys.
Saludos.
Mora
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Hi Adam, hang on a minute I thought New Year songs were meant to be optimistic, full of hope and joy?! Mind, I guess I'm glad you have challenged the corny convention and now we have the first ever 'slit yer wrists' New Year anthem! Ha ha!
Liked the countdown, the foot stomping and the merry go round nature of the song's structure. Good that it's simply produced. Well thought out lyrics too. Yes, would make a good singalong in the 'Manic Depressives Nursing Home' when the clock strikes twelve at December's end. Maybe a rowdy crowd singing the final chorus would have been quite funny. All good stuff though, most entertaining. Cheers!
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@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) - Wow, this is fresh and bold and very imaginative, but the thing that I was blown away with is the sound of your 12 string, I've been after that sort of sound for years, To me it's THE Queen Bitch (by Bowie) sound, he used to have a rare of bunch of acoustics, it sounds superb Adam. Send me it and I'll shower you with peacocks and caviar. 8)
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You managed a fun song with UN-optimistic lyrics...how'd you do that? super stuff in your usual very own genre Adam..mega!!!
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Hi Adam, lots to like here, a very confident vocal performance, on an essentially simple but effective song. Enjoyed the acoustic guitar sound too!
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie
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Hi Adam.
Like the simple delivery and the thought proking lyrics. This would make a great B side to the Meteor.
If you are open to reworking the edit I would be tempted to cut it dead at 3.19 or fade out from 3.12. cheers Micky
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+1 shadowfax...instantly recognisable as your work Adam
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Hey Adam, great track, especially 1) the intro, 2) the sound of that guitar (to me it sounds hispanic... maybe some castanets would set it off...), 3) the minimalist home-made percussion (made me think of S&G's "Cecilia" - love the echoey reverb on those footstomps or handclaps). The sparsity of it gives it a really strong, individual character.
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Ole.
Yeah...love the guitar...sounds massive...your vocal reminded me of the guy from Depeche Mode in places.
Very inventive and fresh with some great lyrics too.
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Well you’ve certainly met your brief on this one Mr Farr.
This for me is a drunken, end of the night song where old and young would join in together. Exactly what you need from a New Year’s Eve sing a long.
Very catchy chorus and the wide stereo acoustics sounds great. Enjoyed the lyrics too, which is unusual for me, particularly the pesky no good advent calendar thief.
Forget **** Lang Syne, I’m singing this next new year.
Yodasdad
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Thanks for great comments - went down better than I imagined! As I almost was going to say in this song, you are only entitled to find New Year's Eves boring if you think you've got 100 more...
@Bostonfan2 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22448) thanks a lot - if all my friends were poets this would be a good singalong!
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) glad you appreciated the simple side - I still somehow managed to put a tongue twister in there though. Many thanks
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) muchísimas gracias - maybe New Year isn't the time for reality but it does convey how I was thinking!
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) - I thought this was quite optimistic as it at least allowed for the possibility of a champagne moment or two... But my true nature will always come through. Luckily I quite enjoy it. Thanks for listening (I'm guessing you're not coming to mine this December?)
@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) thanks so much - but it's all fake! I have one crappy guitar which is too tinny and one quite nice guitar which is very bassy so this is one track of each, lots of delay and EQ and hard panned, with a third quieter combined track in the centre with roomy reverb on it... (As I know you like that sort of thing - recorded using an AKG C2000 mic which is horrible on vocals but which I love on acoustic guitars)
@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) many thanks Kev - it's nice to be distinctive - I do listen to feedback but with me what you'll definitely get is me!
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) sounds like I met the objective! Thanks a million
@mickyplankton (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20769) many thanks - too much? I guess that's the problem with having little or no development in the song. I'll have a ponder.
@PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) thanks for that - yes I do hear a teeny Spanishy something in there. Some songs really benefit from audience participation (and some definitely don't).
@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) thanks for that - https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/jan/24/pet-shop-boys-the-acoustic-guitar-should-be-banned
@Yodasdad (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19208) great comments indeed - of course in my head I hear everyone enjoying singing and stomping along to this one, but maybe a radio-edit of just the optimistic bits would be more to most people's taste.
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@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124)
Aye... Toys that don't need a battery...
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Hi Adam,
I read the lyrics and thought "wow - these are profound and beautiful" and then I played the track and found the tune and delivery didn't really match. I was disappointed if I'm being honest. I'm thinking this is because you've been constrained by the "rules" you mention for the song. I'd ditch that and rewrite this as a gentle,moving ode to the passing of time.
M
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I don't come around the forum often these days which is a shame because I must have missed loads of great tunes like this!
I completely missed the competition - it's certainly an interesting theme! I like how you've ticked off all those rules in this nice catchy number. What really stands out in this song for me though is the lyrics. I just love the tone of them - clever, interesting, thoughtful and yet not too serious. There's a word I want to use to describe them that's like sarcasm but not sarcasm....not sure what it is...but very well written :)
Cheers
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@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) thanks for listening and sorry for the Big Mac expectation versus reality experience. Obviously I had a particular style in mind, but you might be on to something - I don't do many gentle moving odes and maybe I should.
@Darren1664 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20970) hi Darren! Good to hear from you! Thanks for commenting - I was going for something that was just thoughtful enough without being too maudlin. Sardonic, maybe?
Many thanks to all who listened.
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Yes, this is clever, fresh and entertaining, I enjoy it from the beginning to the end. Lovely. songs like this makes me smile.
Irwin
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Caught this last week and it has popped into my head on occasion since. I always really look forward to your songs... Lyrics are (of course) clever, quirky and spot on. The perfect NY song... love the family band of feet. If I tried that in my house they’d be a fair bit of unplanned muffled giggles I’d say. The ‘champagne’ line is my favourite - not easy to sing I’d wager! I think you fulfilled your own brief perfectly!
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Hey Adam
Yeah maybe Sardonic...I’m not great with words and meaning tbh. It’s the way you poke fun at human nature but in a self aware way...your lyrics always carry a bit of that about them. I remember one about being stuck on a plane that was very thoughtful and interesting but equally mocking of the situation. It gives me food for thought and laughter at the same time :) I’ve always admired that quality of yo lyrics
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Ambitious adhering to these self inflicted rules, and a success too.
There's always strong personality in your vocal performances, i always like that in a voice.
Perceptive lyrics.
Nicely done.