The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: montydog on January 18, 2020, 03:32:28 PM
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Hi Everyone,
I've been away for a while just to take a break and write some new songs. It's good to be back. Ironically, this is an old song which I have turned into a Celtic Reel and I think it works pretty well. All comments and abuse gratefully received. I hope you like it.
M
https://soundcloud.com/alan-walker-4/all-the-fun-of-the-fair-revisited
All the fun of the fair
Let me lead you there
I'll show you things that only kings
And jesters would ever share
We're coming to your town
So lay your money down
The carney's here like every year
Just spin that wheel around
We're a band of seekers, dreamers and runners
From the world that comes to stare
Drifters, riskers, scene stealers and shifters
We've been to everywhere
High wire walkers and machine gun talkers
It's hard to tell what is real
Jugglers, barkers, fire eaters and cheaters
Butterflies dead on the wheel
Step up, step up and bring your friends
There's something for everyone
Bearded ladies and 2 headed babies
Attractions second to none
See the tatooed man
His skin is a battle plan
For wars he fought that came to nought
As through the years he ran
Tomorrow we're moving on
So remember when we've gone
That all we leave is a memory
And cheap prizes that you won
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Yeah, there's definitely a Celtic thing goin on ...got only one crit regarding this very good piece..the vocal takes up a lorra lorra space in the mix so when played loud the vocal is too big...otherwise..mega!!! 8) :)
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Welcome back Alan. Loved that in yer face acoustic guitar. I thought that the vocals worked well. Interesting lyrics conjure up something that might have happened in a country town on Dartmoor many years ago ;D Great stuff mate
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There are a few names on here, who, when they post a song, I think, I’m probably going to like this, and even if I don’t, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be quality.
Unfortunately, you’re not one of them.
Just kidding, of course you are ;D
This ticks both boxes and a whole load more for me.
I’m sure I could find something to criticise if I tried, but I just enjoyed listening to it.
Nice work Alan.
Yodasdad
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Welcome back Alan :) Love everything about this song :-* the Celtic vibe works really well. Loved the violin and mandolin solos. :)
The sentiment of this song really brings back childhood memories of the fairs that would come though town once a year. We don't see any these days, which is kind of sad. I really like the lyrics in the choruses and your vocals are as wonderful as ever. Each listen gets better and better :)
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Enjoyed this, The Vox & acoustic have an intimate feel along with a really cool
Celtic vibe groove (love Celtic , I cant play it but enjoy those who can!) Lyrics
are spot on for this, Like Shadowfax said for us who listen loud the main Vox
is a bit overpowering but very nice job this !!
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Hi Alan - Interesting topic - probably could be set in any tone period (or at least any time when they had machine guns!).
The “butterfly on the wheel” quote made me think - it’s quite brutal in a way, and takes us into the perspective of the fairgrounders, not really valued except as a passing amusement.
Love the guitar in particular, very nicely played and recorded, and the fiddle. Perhaps, though it could be just me, I could have done with something supporting the low end, maybe a bigger bass drum sound? Not very folk, though!
Another quality track from you, good to see you round here again.
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Alan, hi and welcome back.
I remember it well, cool lyrics as ever.
Vocals sound great and I really like the drumming.
It really came alive with the fiddle at 2.18
My only thought is a can’t hear any bass, is there one there?
Thanks for the share, I’m hoping we can here more montydog soon
:-)
Neil
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Alan - @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) - Really like this one, all close mic'd and super clean, Wonderful production, great ideas, hooky lyrics, can't add anything,
Gave me the same images in my head as 'For the benfit of mr kite'
+1 @Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) - Hope to hear more from you soon.
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Hi Alan. Good to hear another of yours. This one feels a.little more raw in terms of production than some of your previous tracks. Quality of the songwriting and vocals shines through. My listening experience is different to some of the other posters. I actually find the guitars a little too upfront. Not the vocals. It sounds like the guitar was right up close to the mic. For my ears perhaps a slightly softer or even reverb effect on the guitars might work. Also think a bit of bass wouldn't hurt. Love the fiddle
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Lots of interesting textures in that backing track and curious elements drifting in and out. I particularly liked the accomplished instrumental break and wished it could have gone on longer. I got a kind of nostalgic feel from it, those travelling 'carnies' seem to belong to a childhood long since past. Well sung as always. ;)
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Hi Alan, pretty nice job, nice tight structure lyrically but not much progression in the story which normally could be an issue for me but given the context of carneys, roll up see what we got, off we go, it fits nicely here. Geoff
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I like Celtic, so this works for me. Plus, I think Celtic is appropriate for the subject matter, anyway. The only thing I noticed has nothing to do with the songwriting, only pronunciation, because I'm OCD about it--so I would prefer to hear "lead you" rather than "leadjoo". Pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. I always love fiddles/violins. I heard organ, too, right? Perfect for a fair/carnival theme. Do you play all those instruments? I'm impressed!
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Great folk feel to this @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) - I always struggle with "celtic" cos here in Ireland we never refer to our music as such (and I know you're not saying this is Irish but I guess we fall into that "bucket") but I recognise in particular the rhythm guitar playing as suiting our trad/folk genre as well as when the session really gets going at the 2.18 mark - gorgeous really and beautifully played parts.. and of course the vocal is smooth as velvet and really quite lovely..
I love the lyrics - they tell a great tale but even more than that they are beautifully crafted - I loved "scene stealers" most :) !.
K
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Hi Alan, loved the acoustic guitar sound, how did you record it? Great lyrics as expected.Very good song, well produced and sung. Enjoyed the solos too.
Good work
Cheers
Jamie
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Hi,
Thanks to everyone who took the time to listen and comment. I'd been away a while and thought I might have been forgotten.
Yeah, there's definitely a Celtic thing goin on ...got only one crit regarding this very good piece..the vocal takes up a lorra lorra space in the mix so when played loud the vocal is too big...otherwise..mega!!! 8) :)
@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) Thanks for commenting - you make a fair point about the mix but glad you liked it otherwise.
Welcome back Alan. Loved that in yer face acoustic guitar. I thought that the vocals worked well. Interesting lyrics conjure up something that might have happened in a country town on Dartmoor many years ago ;D Great stuff mate
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) Lovely comments - many thanks.
Hi Alan, loved the acoustic guitar sound, how did you record it? Great lyrics as expected.Very good song, well produced and sung. Enjoyed the solos too.
Good work
Cheers
Jamie
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) Hi, pleased that you liked the song. The acoustic is played by Quinn Bachand who is a well respected Canadian multiinstrumentalist on the Celtic music scene. The recording is via Band In A Box 2016.
Great folk feel to this @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) - I always struggle with "celtic" cos here in Ireland we never refer to our music as such (and I know you're not saying this is Irish but I guess we fall into that "bucket") but I recognise in particular the rhythm guitar playing as suiting our trad/folk genre as well as when the session really gets going at the 2.18 mark - gorgeous really and beautifully played parts.. and of course the vocal is smooth as velvet and really quite lovely..
I love the lyrics - they tell a great tale but even more than that they are beautifully crafted - I loved "scene stealers" most :) !.
K
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) Many thanks for the detailed review and so pleased you liked it.
I like Celtic, so this works for me. Plus, I think Celtic is appropriate for the subject matter, anyway. The only thing I noticed has nothing to do with the songwriting, only pronunciation, because I'm OCD about it--so I would prefer to hear "lead you" rather than "leadjoo". Pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. I always love fiddles/violins. I heard organ, too, right? Perfect for a fair/carnival theme. Do you play all those instruments? I'm impressed!
@CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928) Pleased you liked it despite your thing about pronunciation. Don't ever listen to Rap music;you'll go insane:-) I don't play the stringed instruments - it's all via Band In A Box. My musical skills are limited to dobro, basic guitar, bass and harmonica.
Hi Alan, pretty nice job, nice tight structure lyrically but not much progression in the story which normally could be an issue for me but given the context of carneys, roll up see what we got, off we go, it fits nicely here. Geoff
@Furry61 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22234) Thanks Geoff, glad you liked it.
Lots of interesting textures in that backing track and curious elements drifting in and out. I particularly liked the accomplished instrumental break and wished it could have gone on longer. I got a kind of nostalgic feel from it, those travelling 'carnies' seem to belong to a childhood long since past. Well sung as always. ;)
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) Yes, it was a nostalgia thing for me - a window into another world camped out in a field behind my house.
Hi Alan. Good to hear another of yours. This one feels a.little more raw in terms of production than some of your previous tracks. Quality of the songwriting and vocals shines through. My listening experience is different to some of the other posters. I actually find the guitars a little too upfront. Not the vocals. It sounds like the guitar was right up close to the mic. For my ears perhaps a slightly softer or even reverb effect on the guitars might work. Also think a bit of bass wouldn't hurt. Love the fiddle
@mickyplankton (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20769) Vocals, guitar too close for some and not others. You can't please everyone so you'd better please yourself ;-) There is actually an acoustic bass in there but I guess it could be a little louder...
Alan - @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) - Really like this one, all close mic'd and super clean, Wonderful production, great ideas, hooky lyrics, can't add anything,
Gave me the same images in my head as 'For the benfit of mr kite'
+1 @Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) - Hope to hear more from you soon.
@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) So you like it all close mic'd ? Hehehe....Thanks for the kind words.
Alan, hi and welcome back.
I remember it well, cool lyrics as ever.
Vocals sound great and I really like the drumming.
It really came alive with the fiddle at 2.18
My only thought is a can’t hear any bass, is there one there?
Thanks for the share, I’m hoping we can here more montydog soon
:-)
Neil
@Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) Hi Neal - glad you liked it and yes, there is plenty more to come. There is an acoustic bass in there somewhere :-(
Hi Alan - Interesting topic - probably could be set in any tone period (or at least any time when they had machine guns!).
The “butterfly on the wheel” quote made me think - it’s quite brutal in a way, and takes us into the perspective of the fairgrounders, not really valued except as a passing amusement.
Love the guitar in particular, very nicely played and recorded, and the fiddle. Perhaps, though it could be just me, I could have done with something supporting the low end, maybe a bigger bass drum sound? Not very folk, though!
Another quality track from you, good to see you round here again.
@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) You got my sentiments about the carnival perfectly - a hard world with no security - just living on your skills and wits. Thanks for the review.
Enjoyed this, The Vox & acoustic have an intimate feel along with a really cool
Celtic vibe groove (love Celtic , I cant play it but enjoy those who can!) Lyrics
are spot on for this, Like Shadowfax said for us who listen loud the main Vox
is a bit overpowering but very nice job this !!
@Bostonfan2 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22448) Glad you liked the celtic vibe - I was looking for a way to inject some energy into the song and came upon this idea.
Welcome back Alan :) Love everything about this song :-* the Celtic vibe works really well. Loved the violin and mandolin solos. :)
The sentiment of this song really brings back childhood memories of the fairs that would come though town once a year. We don't see any these days, which is kind of sad. I really like the lyrics in the choruses and your vocals are as wonderful as ever. Each listen gets better and better :)
@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) Hi suzy - so nice of you to make such lovely comments - you are always so perceptive and open minded. Many thanks.
There are a few names on here, who, when they post a song, I think, I’m probably going to like this, and even if I don’t, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be quality.
Unfortunately, you’re not one of them.
Just kidding, of course you are ;D
This ticks both boxes and a whole load more for me.
I’m sure I could find something to criticise if I tried, but I just enjoyed listening to it.
Nice work Alan.
Yodasdad
@Yodasdad (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19208) You joker. Had me going for a second there! Don't try and find something if it's not hitting you over the head :-)