The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pompeyjazz on December 01, 2019, 05:31:41 PM
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Just to prove that we didn't spend our get together last weekend getting drunk and talking rubbish (although we probably did) The South Coast Massive have been working on a couple of little numbers.
This one started it's life as one of @Binladeda (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18620) backing tracks. @PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) wrote the lyrics and provided the vocals and I added a little bit of instrumentation and some bv's and mixed it up.
I hope you enjoy it :)
She wrote her number on a Mobius Strip
Put it round my neck like she was playing hoopla for a goldfish
I'm in that painting by Escher - that impossible staircase
I climb and I climb but I keep coming back to the same place
How could this happen?
I'm chasing Fibonacci patterns through the caverns of her heart
So strange we're travelling at the same velocity in the same dimension to the same certainty
So much in common, it seems a cruelty that she'd deny me a little of her company
I'm in the hall of mirrors trying to find myself
Contorted and distorted - she's turned me into someone else
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"South Coast Massive"...great name!
I have two favorite bits in this. First, when your voice goes down low, @PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) ; oooo, I love that! And then the section with all the similar sounding words: velocity, certainty, cruelty, company. That works really well for me. Oh, and a third favorite spot. "Contorted and distorted - she's turned me into someone else". Brilliant. All those little internal rhymes surprising me here and there. This is definitely more interesting that what I think of as mainstream, and I like it much better. When I read the lyrics, I couldn't imagine how it could be set to music but, hey, obviously it can!
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`Nuff respect to the South Coast Massive !! Really enjoyed this. Lovely production, interesting composition & intriguing lyrics. Well done everyone & thank you.
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I love this track! It's a show case of all three of the talents that went into the making of it :) I love Bins beautiful jazzy backing track. :-*
The lyrics are amazing! The vocals and BV's are equally as brilliant, as is the mix. Kinda reminded me a bit of some of Stings stuff, which of course is a huge compliment! Very classy collab guys :-*
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Very cool atmosphere created here, has a haunting vibe to it between the keys
And guitar. Creative lyrics and the vocals sound great, nice job guys!
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I adore this song. The production, guitar work vocals and lyrics are fantastic. One of my favourite songs on this forum for sure.
If I have my way, I'm relocating Tom the southeast of England. I've already met Steve but it would be good to one day catch up with the rest of the guys if I make it that's far!
Quality. Well done!
Paul
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You had me at Mobius Strip! Love the rhyming in this one - patterns, happen, caverns...
Your voices blend so well, you should do it more often.
Perhaps the backing is a touch busy (though if it was originally an instrumental that’s probably why). The guitars sound fab - especially the woody acoustic.
Really minor taste thing - I somehow wanted to hear a jump down in the melody on “case” in “staircase”...
Amazing work that in no way sounds like a quick weekend’s effort!
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Wow, I thought this would be perhaps riotous after hearing about your get together - thought you would have lost it in a cacophony of overdrive and booze!
But this offering is delicately delightful in many ways. Lovely guitar riff motifs and interchange underpinning everything. Then PX's vocal is very sweet and well controlled as it meanders through the well layered musical landscape in quite unexpected ways. Harmonies very well done and delicate too.
The song is almost circular in structure too, like the impossible staircase itself. Very imaginative lyrical concept, wish I had thought of it. (So I will have to wait a couple of years before shamelessly stealing it! :) )
All the ingredients combine to deliver nothing else than pure quality. One of the best ever collaborations I have heard on here. More please!
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Hi Guys,
Interesting vibe you've created here; totally out of my normal listening.
Lots of layers that a blowing in the wind revealing a little at a time then hiding it away again - almost.
Love how the atmospherics lurk, and then peek out here and there.
Creative stuff.
Tasty playing.
Digger
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Very enjoyable guys! The lyrics are beyond awesome! Really intriguing stuff! You guys do sound great together. That guitar is just fab aswell. Bravo!🎶👊🏻🎶👊🏻🎶👊🏻😄🙋🏼♂️
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Love Pauls vocal on this...it's really fab. Lyrics are brilliant...some of it was slightly beyond my unsophisticated grim northern life experience!
I might have liked a little bit more of a drop-out somewhere...it was pretty busy all-round...but why fiddle with it when it sounds just great as it is...
Had a few days in Brighton at a trade union conference a few years back...funny old place, I thought...a hotel bar manager took a bit of a shine to me...flogging a dead horse...anyway...it felt like being abroad somehow...a long way from Newcastle anyway.
Three very talented fellas cooking on gas.
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I was checking an upload on soundcloud of my latest song and when it finished this started. I listened. Gee, I though that's really nice. Classy and clever lyrics. Now I realise it was yours lol. ( but I still stand by what I said - classy, clever, crisp, champagne music )
Outstandingly clever lyrics. The goldfish sure got my attention and the vox are sublime.
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Brilliant collaboration guys, this shows how three talented guys can get something recorded that any one of you wouldn't have written. Loved it, great lyrics ,great ideas, great playing, singing, all great !
Cheers
Jamie
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Hi all. This is a class song. The production is incredible and the song has great rhythm despite hardly featuring any percussion. Immaculate timing on the instrumentation. The vocals are seductive and the lyrics are mind blowing. Whoever came up with the Fibiacci patterns line was either taking the Micky or a Genius. That one was over my head so I don’t know. The only thing I would change is I would take out the bass drum that briefly makes an appearance for 10 seconds or so at 2.13. It doesnt add anything to the ambience. The flow and rhythm are fine without it. Cheers Micky.
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really special track guys..
beautifully put together
dreamlike exquisite mix
opening just draws you in..
words and vocal just perfect..
iz complete !
like being knocked out by velvet
great collab ..
up the massive
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Hi,
I listened to this song 3-4 times.
So much to like about this song….
This may sound ridiculous but the first thing that struck me was the quality of the restrained kick drum. Just perfect for driving the track along almost without you realising it.
The guitar work is delicious both the acoustic and the electric.
The synth pads, predominately on the left side are spot on for the atmospherics.
Vocally, the tone reminded of an exotic combination of Bernard Sumner and Dr. Robert!
Lyrics kept me fully engaged. I love it when I have to look words up to find their meaning (Mobious Strip), particularly when that results then I find extra meaning in the song! I even found the guitars ascending and returning in a similar way to Eschers painting! (Maybe not intentional but the imagery was already in my head)
I have just one extremely nit-picky observation;
1. The backing vocals at 2:23 are just ever so slightly out of sync with the lead vocal. It’s possibly a trivial thing but, it did stand out, in what is otherwise, for me, a flawless track.
Thanks for letting me listen to your music.
Paul.
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Interesting I think it’s a grower
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Great collab guys,
Lyrically very clever and interesting - don’t think I’ve heard Fibonacci worked into a song before.
Nice clarity in the production.
Well put together, good stuff.
Yodasdad
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It's all been said - but amazing lyrically, musically, vocally and talentlly ;D ;D
Love how you can make out every word in the vocal.
Massive quality in this song - raising the bar yet again.
Getting out of reach for us mortals ;D
respect gents
Paul
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@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) - sorry for the late response had a lot on lately...blinkin loved this, those dreamy vocals, some of the best ive heard here, there’s just something captivating i could help myself and thr lyrics draw you in. Perfect guitar work..subdued and tasty.
Thanks for vibrating my ear air
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Hola @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269)
I liked it a lot, a lot, and this
"I'm chasing Fibonacci patterns through the caverns of her heart"
it is so fantastic, "caverns" and heart is a wonderful description.
Congratulations to you and @PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034)
Mora