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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Welsh Steve on November 11, 2019, 06:27:29 PM

Title: Hourglass
Post by: Welsh Steve on November 11, 2019, 06:27:29 PM

https://soundcloud.com/steve-lewis-36/hourglass

I've written this one about ageing, and getting older

Daylight cessation
Heartbeat left behind
Setting sun's becoming colder
Time's never on our side

Make the most of all you've got today
Cos you may not have tomorrow

Shadows in every corner
Collecting heartache reaping souls
Faceless figures wait impatiently
To steal your spirit take control

Make the most of all you've got today
Cos you may not have tomorrow

Don't turn over your hourglass
Trouble is you think you have the time
Life keeps on falling through your hourglass
Till there's nothing nothing left behind

Make the most of all you've got today
Cos you may not have tomorrow
Make the most of all you've got today
Cos you may not have tomorrow

Title: Re: Hourglass
Post by: Wicked Deeds on November 11, 2019, 06:39:16 PM

@Welsh Steve (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22316),

I’d take a great deal of reverb from the rhythm guitar especially.  It really dominates the mix so that it competes with the main vocal.  The track loses it’s cutting edge because of that single element. 

It’s great to hear backing vocals which always add an extra dimension to a production.  I’d also raise the backing vocals “You may not have tomorrow” and once again, lose some of that reverb.  This is a very accessible song otherwise!

Paul

Title: Re: Hourglass
Post by: Welsh Steve on November 11, 2019, 09:25:24 PM

Cheers bud....I'll give it a go

Title: Re: Hourglass
Post by: Neil C on November 12, 2019, 07:50:06 PM

Intriguing intro with the flanged guitar and rhythm. Like it when when you double the vocals adds power and it’s catchy. Agree with wicked about getting the vocals right in the mix.
Getting a touch of Floyd in there somewhere.
:-)
Neil

Title: Re: Hourglass
Post by: Welsh Steve on November 12, 2019, 09:06:17 PM

Wow...I'm a Floyd fan...but I didn't realise that it sounded that way. Thank you so much

Title: Re: Hourglass
Post by: cowparsleyman on November 14, 2019, 12:23:27 PM

Yeah, I'm getting the Floyd vibe, +1 with @Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) comments.

Might sound a little thicker with some Acoustic Drums on top..some tidy ideas, with the BV's and the doubling of the LVox.

Cool song

Title: Re: Hourglass
Post by: LostBoy on November 14, 2019, 01:56:02 PM

Hey man, I dig that chorus, I love how you layer the vox on the last one especially with that throw delay on the punch line. I think the percussion gets a touch loud in places, but nice work.🎶👊🏻🎶