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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pompeyjazz on October 03, 2019, 05:03:29 PM

Title: Without You Girl
Post by: pompeyjazz on October 03, 2019, 05:03:29 PM
Hi all, This one is a love song and it was bloody difficult to write. Anyway, I really needed to do this to get it out of my system.

Not a lot else to say  :)


I've been there on my own every single night
Nothing that I can do can make it right
Can't forget about you and all that we went through
I get lonely and I long to hold you tight

Where have the good times gone without you girl ?
Seems like we lived our life in different world
I can dream about you, but that's all that I can do
And that won't bring you back, back into my arms

Now I must a find a way to carry on
Sure is and empty world now that you have gone
I've been hoping all day, chasing my troubles away
New beginning, I'm going to get it right

Where have the good times gone without you girl ?
Seems like we lived our life in different world
I can dream about you, but that's all that I can do
And that won't bring you back, back into my arms

Once when our love had everything
I won't forget anything

So.....
Where have the good times gone without you girl ?
Seems like we lived our life in different world
I can dream about you, but that's all that I can do
And that won't bring you back, back into my arms

(c) Bradley - 2019



Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: Andreas on October 03, 2019, 06:12:11 PM
This was really beautiful, John! Thank you for sharing this with us!
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: MonnoDB on October 03, 2019, 07:16:12 PM
Beautiful song @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) .. must have been hard to write alright, and sing I'd say. Although there is something very cathartic I find about writing sometimes.. The lyrics are wonderful - my favourite line "Seems like we lived our life in different world" very fitting..... speaks to me..

This is a wonderful heartbreaking song... Thanks for sharing..

K
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: Skub on October 03, 2019, 08:44:56 PM
Ah John,man.

I'll bet there was more than one attempt at the vocals. I always wondered how Clapton performed 'Tears in Heaven' live,I'd have been a mess. When 50 years after the event I wrote a song about the death of my mother I cracked on every vocal take,it took ages to control myself enough to get it done.

I hope the writing and recording of the song was a cathartic experience,in some ways we are fortunate to have creativity as an outlet.

The song has that Beatles influence stamped all over it,both in song construction and the vocals/BVs. I love that recurring guitar riff,the Tele is perfect for that brittle,hurting sound. Nothing sounds better in a song than the truth and this is what I hear in this song.

The very best to ya John.  8)
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: PaulyX on October 03, 2019, 09:25:52 PM
Yes, just a lovely heartfelt, honest, touching, heartbreaking track John.  You shared an early sketch with me a couple of weeks back and it was great then, but you've polished it very nicely.  What I particularly like is the way you've balanced obvious hurt and raw emotion with positivity in lines like "I'm going to get it right". It feels brave and inspiring as well as sad because of that, ya know?  A testament to your spirit.
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: t.wretborn on October 03, 2019, 10:08:28 PM
I usually read the lyrics as i listen to the song. But now, I guess because the way you introduced it, I read them first. I did not expect that style but it was a pleasant surprise. Your voice is something special and the way you use it on the higher notes is spot on. The unexpected note on "life" in the chorus stands out and lift this whole song for me. Beautiful vocal performance!
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: MichaelA on October 03, 2019, 10:44:13 PM
I am impressed with your courage and strength to write such a song so soon after your loss. But bravo John for using all your creative powers of expression and musical and songwriting technical skill to write and perform so well this so very personal momento.

Don't know how you held it together, but good on you and I do hope the whole experience of creating something that you do best helped you a little, and I am sure your missus would have been proud of you for managing to do this, and so expertly and touchingly too.

All the best, man...
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: Sebandme on October 04, 2019, 07:23:13 AM
Hey John,

Really like this song, the lyrics are obviously heart felt.
Really like the melody on the chorus.

Reminds of john Lennon solo stuff.
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: shadowfax on October 04, 2019, 08:33:57 AM
Dunno how the hell you managed to sing it mate....all the words have been said so wont repeat em, lovely 60's song my friend...

best to you for the future, Kevin :)
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: Neil C on October 04, 2019, 02:37:57 PM
John,
Lovely Beatleque love tune, sung with real convictions and some lovely catchy twists and turns.
You should be very proud of it.
:-) :-) neil
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: PaulAds on October 04, 2019, 07:58:52 PM
A really lovely song, John...your vocal sounds fantastic here again. Sung straight from the heart. I don't know how you held it together for this one. I could barely hold it together just listening.

I just sat for ten minutes watching the cursor blinking at me while trying to think of something appropriate to end with. I drew a blank. Eventually, I figured the best thing for me to do was to stop rambling and simply go have another listen.



Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: PaulG on October 06, 2019, 08:02:47 PM
Nice full Sound John, really enjoyed it. Also felt the Beatles vibe in there, excellent!
Paul
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: Inanité_sonore on October 06, 2019, 08:33:04 PM
Hi John,
Here I am again and I find your very good piece that delights my ears. I like it very much! Always a very beautiful vocal interpretation. It reminded me of Bowie sometimes. You master this style too, no doubt.
Very good work!

IS
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: adamfarr on October 07, 2019, 01:19:48 PM
Shed a small tear here. Whatever the context it's a really good song.
Never forgetting but still some living to do.
Best wishes as always.
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: Modestmouse1965/ on October 07, 2019, 10:51:12 PM
Lovely song. Sounds like you meant it. I am sure this will hit home to every listener. Superb heartfelt vocals. Don't know how you reached they notes and reminds me of trying to learn a Neil Young song ie Old Man where you can sing it perfectly right through but there is always one damned note you struggle with. So glad you got it out of your system. An absolute gem.
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: jacksimmons on October 08, 2019, 01:51:09 PM
I am not sure I can comment on this in a constructive way. It's beautiful and brave and listening to it really affected me emotionally.
I can't even being to imagine how hard it was to write but it was worth it. You've got a new gem.
Thanks for sharing.
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: Wicked Deeds on October 08, 2019, 05:47:35 PM
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269),

Lovely melody, supported by quality instrumentation.  This is very engaging.  A lovely chord progression too.  I love the style of music that you have presented here!

Paul
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: cowparsleyman on October 08, 2019, 08:06:51 PM
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) - Superb ballad, Oh yes, those BVox, I can just imagine the 3 of your in
 row, side on to the mic stand...suited up...snapping your fingers la' Detroit Spinners...but there are also some lovely Beatles moments in here.

Just sublime lyrics, I'm dreading the day CPW slips away from me, just horrible. maybe I'll go first, who knows...

Can imagine a B3 in there, maybe the drums could be a tad more 'Ringo', big sparkley kit, with a bit more tom action, in fact the drum buss could be a couple +dB

Also, I know you have Abbey Road Chambers (There's one there calle A dy in the life)- might put a bit of that on the LVox (maybe you did)

If you have the TG12345 channel strip, whack the treble right up for totally twangy early beatles, it sounds really awful in the cans but it kind of works in the piece, trust your ears, remember they only had 4 tracks and a lot of bouncing to naff tape, so maybe your J37 might help here on the master buss.

Oh yes they often had a J30e in there somewhere...

Thanks John, hope the pain reduces over time, but not the memories. Very nice song.

Hope this helps
 
Title: Re: Without You Girl
Post by: Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra on October 09, 2019, 05:23:12 PM
Very beautiful song John...must indeed have been hard to do. It was an emotional listen too, as Adam said.

Nicely done. Great vocal as ever.

Stay strong!