The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Paulski on September 28, 2019, 04:57:57 PM
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So go ahead - call this one cheesy all you like! :D
I'll take it as a compliment! :D :D
https://soundcloud.com/paulcanuck/my-cheesy-song
My Cheesy Song
My girl has a job in a cheese shop
We meet in a room at the back
We whisper so no-one can eavesdrop
Except for the Monterey Jack
This is my cheesy song
I swear it won't be very long
Its notes are as sharp as an old Parmesan
But I hope you can sing along
Her lips are a soft Mozzarella
Her skin is a smooth Camambert
I love when she calls on her fella
To remove Gouda chunks from her hair
This is my cheesy song
I swear it won't be very long
Its notes are as sharp as an old Parmesan
But I hope you can sing along
I am her Edam - she is my Eve
We roll in a garden of Feta and Brie
Jalapeño kisses as hot as an oven
She melts my resistance with her cheesy lovin'
And
This is my cheesy song
I swore it wouldn't be very long
But I have to go now - our pizza is done
And so is this cheesy song
Yes I have to go now - our pizza is done
And so is my cheesy
Easy
Brie-zy
And so is my cheesy song!
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I really like cheese too.
Due to the way it is produced it's really a guilty pleasure.
The songs starts off very clever but the middle
With garden of Edam the song really takes off.
It seems you can write on anything that catches your attention.
Well done.
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Really clever and fun song...perfectly pitched in length so that it was over before the mice started throwing themselves onto the traps 😂
An old Bernard Manning gag...sorry.
As long as you're here,... Broadway will continue to miss out.
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Yeah..again and again your writing shines..as Paul said, it's Broadways loss innit!!
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Wonderful- a missed number 1 from 1978, a spot on the morecombe and wise show, very very clever.
I guess cambazola, and allgauer Berg käse was a stretch for rhyming.
Made me smile all the way through, thanks Paul.
Why not have a toast mid8 would go well together?
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"And this year's Academy Award for the best rhyme goes to.... the coupling of 'cheese shop' with 'eavesdrop'... congratulations Paulski!"
From that rhyme on, it was clearly going to be impossible not to love this. A bit Monty Pythonesque and utterly silly - and all the better for that. Thanks for a big smile.
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Marvelous Paul, perfectly krafted. Had me laughing all the way through, especially the Edam and Eve line. Seriously, it's really well put together and as others have said, it should be in a musical. 5 stars for invention and execution ;D
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Yes the first verse lyric is epic.
Where's the cheesy accordion in the 'lips are mozzarella' bit? Oh well we get that barrel organ bit in the middle which makes up for that....gives us that old Europe sound.
Bet that back room got a bit close on a hot summer's day.
Yep, it's cheesy all right.
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Haha this was hilarious! :D
When is the musical premiere?
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Just really entertaining that is all! Anyone got any cheese jokes to go with it? Maybe better not...
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Hi Paul, whey to go :o.Loved it, such a brilliant lyric and great composition in the old Broadway style.Brilliant.
Great listen.
Cheese
Jamie
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Very smart and as such not entirely cheesy. But very entertaining all the way through and a performance so accomplished you can just allow yourself to be immersed into the fun and cleverness of it all.
Bravo on a unique idea and expert execution.
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Great job ! very clever and well put together!
I enjoyed it....Ray
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Mmmm cheese. :)
'Minds me I have a wedge of Wensleydale with Cranberry in the fridge...brb...
'PARP'. Ah,that's better. :)
Oh,yeah,the song?
Can a piece be cheesy and classy simultaneously? When if it can't,then I reckon you've just concocted a new genre Paul.
As ever man,I love your wordplay,you're inventiveness all wrapped up in a classy clingfilm. 8)
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@Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) cheers rightly very kind of you :D
@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) .. and Broadway's better off because of it :D thanks Paul for the nice comments
@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) cheers Kevin
@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) thanks for that - yep could have made it even more cheesy I suppose. It gets pretty ripe as it is though ;D
@PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) - thanks - I debated on the eavesdrop line - seemed a bit IDK.. cheesy. Realising that clinched it ;D I love Monty P - happy to see that reference :D A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat. :D :D
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) thanks John There's a thin line between inventive and crazy which I would happily walk :D
@Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra - thanks for that Ian. Now you've said it, I can hear an accordian there too - my grandpa was Italian - maybe a Godfather vibe could be done. Glad you smelled the cheese in this one :D
@t.wretborn (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22159) - thank you kind sir. Musical is in the works ;D
@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) Thanks Adam .. entertaining is all I can hope for :D
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) cheers Jamie - means a lot as I'm pretty sure this isn't a genre you listen to much :D
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) thanks Michael maybe we could do broadway together - and ugly baby and a cheesy song - might just work these days. ;D
@Bostonfan2 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22448) thanks Ray - glad you enjoyed :D
@Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) Davey my man - very kind of you. Want a little whine with that?
And a big thanks to all those who commented on SC :D :D
Paul
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Smoothly and professionally done @Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) ... Of course the piano in the intro verse is wonderful but then it gets better. You've achieved such a full sound on this - I love that.. so impressive!! And as always, theme and lyrics original and fantastic! Such a catchy song impressively delivered!
K
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@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) thanks Karen - very kind of you to say that ;)
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A so funny song! I loved "
Her lips are a soft Mozzarella
Her skin is a smooth Camambert
I love when she calls on her fella
To remove Gouda chunks from her hair" and its melody.
In Spain we have too wonderful cheese, Manchego, Cabrales, etc...,
As always a very solid production.
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A so funny song! I loved "
Her lips are a soft Mozzarella
Her skin is a smooth Camambert
I love when she calls on her fella
To remove Gouda chunks from her hair" and its melody.
In Spain we have too wonderful cheese, Manchego, Cabrales, etc...,
As always a very solid production.
Thanks @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) those sound like tasty cheeses ;)
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@Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) ,
I maintain, that you are such an accomplished songwriter my friend. I would never think to write something like this but you do with real style, communicating your excellent ability, versatility and flair. Most notably, this would easily fall into the musical genre. So very accomplished!
Paul
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@Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) ,
I maintain, that you are such an accomplished songwriter my friend. I would never think to write something like this but you do with real style, communicating your excellent ability, versatility and flair. Most notably, this would easily fall into the musical genre. So very accomplished!
Paul
Thanks Paul - too kind, really! ;)
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Your gas! Raving, brilliantly mad! The lyrics are so fab I almost forgot the song (which has all the hallmarks of a Paulski creation)
That is more than just a song, it's entertainment!
'nuff said, back for another spin.
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Still smiling about this one, There seems to be a latent collab out there...You and @Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra .... Meet up at a Geen Bay Packers game...The Cheesheads...
https://www.go4travelblog.com/the-best-nfl-stadiums-watch/
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Thanks Johan @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) - glad you found it entertaining ;)
..and @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) - yeah I like those cheesehead pictures. Gotta get one of those hats ;) ;)
big cheesy thank you to all who took the time to listen ;)
Paul
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lovely vocals paulski , real nice arrangmnt
brilliant song
your a bit of a genius mate - tho which bit im not certain
cheered me right up..
no mention of dairylea in the lyric i notice..britains favourite
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Was Primula and that lovely plastic-burger-cheese in there? How about laughing Cow, or australian Beaver Cheese, oh no, we're slipping rather predictably towards that sketch....
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Cheesy genius!
That is all.
Yodasdad
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Edam well nailed it....as usual ;D ;D Great song Paul. Big smiles here..thanks for that ;D
You're a master songsmith, that's for sure....every one a winner.
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@nooms (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=11264) @Yodasdad (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19208) @Binladeda (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18620)
Thanks guys for the cheesy words of encouragement ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
But as my Mom always said:
"Don't encourage him - it only makes him worse!"
Now this cheesy thread is gonna sink ;D ;D
Paul
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Cheesy is definitely in my lane of music :p The lyrics are so clever, and the piano is as always fantastic :) Your vocal delivery is amazing. I simply loved it!