The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pompeyjazz on September 06, 2019, 10:59:01 AM
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Have been enjoying catching up with the forum and listening to some great music.
Here's a little ditty I knocked up about influence and power :)
Why must you listen to America
Where they tell you how to live your life
Forging mass hysteria
And boy, it's got a nasty bite
Everything is transparent
Even though it's kept in the dark
Barking like an ageing terrier
But bite you like a great white shark
Orders from above
Orders from above
You know they used to say that all you need is love
But they're orders from above
Many forms of democracy
Every one is tempered so it fits
Lands of opportunity
But only if you're a perfect fit
Ask your representative
Surely they must have some time
Sorry if I'm being cynical
But buddy can you spare a dime
Orders from above
Orders from above
You know they used to say that all you need is love
But they're orders from above
(c) Bradley - 2019
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Hey John, this is a kind of protest song with a touch of melancholy. I like its dipping melody line which kind of made me feel quite sad. Quite topical too, given the UK maybe on the brink of increasing US influence.
Well sung as usual, with interesting overlays, and instrumentally I liked the break out bit, plus the bass line kept popping up with a catchy turn or two.
I think you suited this kind of slower track, lots of feeling in it - and some clever lines in there, for example that 'transparent/kept in the dark', and the cynical twist to 'the perfect fit' line. Plus the sad 'all you need is love' nostalgia. Well crafted all that.
Another anthem for our times from you sir, nice work!
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Didn’t really grab me sorry x
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This is real grower, John.
Vocals are super in particular...tag line is real catchy too. A really solid and powerful number with some great lines. And I loved the ending.
Top stuff, as ever :-)
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Loved this John, listened at the weekend and it grabbed me instantly. Especially those synth sounds, they were slightly weird and atonal / out of tune in a very good way... it makes them a bit unsettling, and a bit psychedelic, and a bit sixties (Strawberry Fieldsy). Lyrics great too - beautifully vague, enough clues to have a guess at what it is about without laying it on with a trowel. Oh, and I loved the way several of the instruments joined in at unusual times, like the bass and drums near the start, joining in halfway through a line. Real quality stuff.
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John,
Powerful stuff. Great lyrics, the 2nd verse in particular is fabulous and I love the simple, cleaver chorus couple.
Musically a simple, powerful woozy backdrop which just grows and grows and you give it some with a passionate vocal delivery with that slight Lennon rasp to it.
Going to have another listen
:-)
neil
ps love the bv's at the ending
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Hi @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) - For some reason this one just didn't do it for me, don't know what it was, but didn't ring my bell, and I can't offer any critique, so this I can't help at all really, sorry, I'd love to give you some constructive crit, but I ain't got any for this...
Rich 8)
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Hi John
Lots of angst in this one - I think that's why the mixed reactions.
It's powerful, yet we don't get much release from all that tension (IMHO).
So one has to be in the mood - which I was this a.m.
A good entry to your growing catalogue ;D
Paul
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Yo pomps.
As thee knows I listened to this a while ago,I agree it's not as accessible as some of your other songs,but I think the dark music suits the dark theme. There's a tangible air of oppression present in the music accentuated by the way the bass doesn't always follow the melody line in the chorus,but gives a droning,hypnotic effect. 'Orders from above' doesn't fully resolve and I like the way you've achieved that.
It's a difficult/clever track in many ways,but I love being made to think about music and you've done that John.
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Thought provoking and passionate. Don't understand whats not to like as it is well crafted and has the perfect mood for the lyrics but i suppose that is what makes us all individuals. I understand it is one of those songs that may need multiple listens for some people to appreciate. A Plus from me. Encore.
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I found the words grabbed me - I've listened a few times now and I like it more each time and the chorus melody has taken hold. The "melancholic protest song" comment is spot on - kind of unusual but very impactful. Kind of accentuating the impact. I personally loved the "...all you need is love" line.. Great ref.. The last line with harmonies is superb.. I hit for me, this one @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) ...
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@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269), I especially love the chorus both lyrically and melodically. The instrumentation throughout is sublime. An instantly enjoyable song!
Paul
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Hi John, great tension in the arrangement and instrumentation, some slightly discordant elements which work well with the overall theme. Quite different from anything I've heard from you, but enjoyable nevertheless. Your vocal sounding bit less like Mr Lennon this time, but it's still there 8) ;).
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie
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That unusual...(atonal PaulyX calls it) wobbly synthy backing start suited the America theme that you begin with. Almost thought we were going to have a grand launch into The Star Spangled Banner or something...though it is almost funereal too.
It is an unsettling track in lots of ways...that relentless backing, the drums, the sudden high bass notes, the pace too.....which makes for a challenging listen at first...it takes some getting used to (well, it did for me)
The anthemic chorus lifts it nicely....made me think of Frankie Goes To Hollyhead for some reason.
I didn't get into it the first couple of times. I came back to it today and it's growing on me now however. That 'orders from above' is going to be stuck in my head now I can feel it!
Hats off for always exploring new avenues in your musical quest...never boring John!
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Late to this track...so yer back!! and yer gonna be doin yer usual mega music are yer?...this track certainly confirms my suspicions, there's no stoppin you mate...welcome back..great track :) 8) 8)
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A big Thank You to all of you who took the time to listen to and review this latest track
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) Thanks Michael, I wanted to try out some different elements so glad that it worked for you
@Girlinside (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22372) Hey Katie, not to worry, thanks for taking a listen anyway
@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) Cheers Paul, wanted to create a somewhat sparse and bleak feeling so hopefully I've achieved that
@PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) Yep - I love those wonky atonal synth sounds It's from a VST (OranZe)
@NeilC - Cheers Neil - Woozy was what I was going for - Glad you liked the ending :)
@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) Thanks for the listen Rich and thanks for being honest. Appreciate that not everyone is going to like every song every time :)
@Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) I know what you mean about having to be in the mood Paul - Thanks for your review
@Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) Cheers Davy, capturing the droning effect was what I wanted to achieve and if I've made anybody think about music that I'm more than happy :)
@Modestmouse1965/ (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22459) You hit the nail on the head - Everyone is different - Vive la difference !
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) Yay Karen - I didn't know whether using the "All you need is love" line was a bit corny but I decide to go with it anyway
@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) Thank you Paul - High praise indeed coming from you
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) Great to hear you back on the forum - Glad you liked it. Lennon still there then ;D
@Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra Ian - Unsettling - Good ! If it was boring I think that would be the time to pack it in. Always up for trying something different :)
@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) Hi Kev - Yep, back to my old tricks again after a bit of a break from it - Good to hear from you
Thanks All once again :)
John
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The detuned chords make for a really attention grabbing start - and the hook is not at all instant - but actually insanely catchy (may be the passionate vocal).
The mismatch between "orders" and "love" is a great concept too - great stuff.