The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Tommy Blixt on September 03, 2019, 08:54:12 PM
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https://soundcloud.com/knownastymm/valhalla
Hi y'all! I'm making a slight return (voodoo chile) on this forum. Been away for a while!
This song is one I've kept hidden for the past year. I never realised why I didn't post it sooner.
Here are the lyrics:
Help me, tragedy
Deep into the sea
My will is hollowing
Like a dead oak tree
Are we temporary
Like the dancing leaves
Exist eternally
Ice caps melt the sea
Turn back to Valhalla
We fly through the sky we fall and we die
Life is like a dream
Filled with passing scenes
Remeber nothing
Day to day we see
Turn back to Valhalla
We fly through the sky we fall and we die
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Hi, liking this delicate yet soulful ode.
I think the backing captures the passing into the afterlife and the words paint some cool images.
The drums make it sound modern too.
My only thought was on the chorus was the distorted guitar overshadowed the 'Valhalla' a bit.
Neat
:)
neil
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Big Radiohead vibe here. I love R/H so that's fine with me.
An unusual piece,which definitely speaks to me.
Great vocals and sparse arrangement really work.
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This is such an atmospheric vibe Tommy. I'm also getting a big Radiohead vibe which is excellent in my book. I think you have captured the dynamics so well. The ending is excellent as well, unexpected and freeform. I really enjoyed this one. Oh yeah, well done on getting those vocal high notes as well :)
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Really liked this one...seems to say an awful lot with only a few words. Very cool guitar and the vocals are great.
It's very nicely understated...the drums probably wouldn't have been my choice...but they fit perfectly and help me realise I need to broaden my horizons.
Excellent 😃
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@Tommy Blixt (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20176) - (listening on AKG K701's)
Welcome back man...never heard any Radiohead, so I can't comment on that...there plenty I like here, the space, the 808 kick pattern the implicit hooks on the clean gtr, but just love your voice, the octave separation works a dream at the beginning.
Like the distorted guitars, kind of...think they might need to be further back in the mix..might also pare back the drums in the chorus could just be as they are for the first line of the Chorus, as there's a lots going on anyway.
To me it's a 'like on the first listen'
Hope it helps, keep em coming
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Agree with the Radiohead refs.. great moody piece.. vocals a little bit lost in places.. particularly before that lovely guitar riff comes in the second time (and again in that same section later) but it kinda works with the style .. great vocal!
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This sounds great, and right up my street. In the chorus the crunchy guitars seem to take over everything a bit - it's a good effect but for me it makes the chorus less distinct and memorable. But I'll definitely be listening again!
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Hellooo!!
THANKS FOR LISTENING!!
I'm really pleased with how this one turned out. There is alot of dreamy sounds and that (in my case) adds to the lyrics, which are in turn a dreamy freeflowing text.
I felt it could have been longer!
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Excellent delicately balanced track with a superb vocal (how do you get such a good falsetto? Jealous...). Great bleak lyrics too, loved the oak tree line (just don't like 'ice caps melt the sea'... doesn't make sense... 'ice caps melt into the sea' maybe?). That's a tiny niggle in a fantastic atmospheric track though. Great production and zero cliche.