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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: MonnoDB on August 22, 2019, 10:57:11 PM

Title: Hold Me Tight
Post by: MonnoDB on August 22, 2019, 10:57:11 PM
Hello all...

It's been a while - struggled to get anything out my DAW.... it's littered with unfinished productions but this one seems to have escaped out the other end...

I read the feedback thread and though I'm fairly crap at reviewing myself, I do invite as much in the way of feedback as possible.. As always the extremely patient @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) has lent me his ears for feedback on arrangement / mix but I've spared him later mixes on this as I (largely) seem to have moved the level of the whistle up and down  ::) ::) .. I suspect it's too loud in this version but, well, be brutal please... I could spend another week tweaking this but I'd prefer at this point to get some feedback from your good selves..

K

https://soundcloud.com/monnodb/hold-me-tight

If you ever smile, will it reach your eyes?
You play the serious, the grave
It’s a cover you create
Something’s hidden in the way
You take me gently with such care
Like I’ll break if you let go
What is it I have not been told
Have you been on this earth before?
How did it end, or should I know?

Please hold me tight tonight, my love
And tell me what you fear
I promise I will fight for you
Tell you what you need to hear
Whatever demons threaten you
Must reckon first with me
Cos I won’t let you go before
The darkness disappears

I know your laughter it can ring
And your lilting voice will sing
If your darkness ever lifts
As you cast the past adrift
I’ll be right here to k eep your place
As you float through time and space
To where you finally are free
To come back home to me
Cos you’ve been on this earth before
This time the ending’s one I know

Please hold me tight tonight, my love
And tell me what you fear
I promise I will fight for you
Tell you what you need to hear
Whatever demons threaten you
Must reckon first with me
Cos I won’t let you go before
The darkness disappears

We can miss or we can score
The time is ours to take and hold
The past is gone, our future clear
If we dare to promise what we dream

Please hold me tight tonight, my love
And tell me what you fear
I promise I will fight for you
Tell you what you need to hear
Whatever demons threaten you
Must reckon first with me
Cos I won’t let you go before
The darkness disappears

Whatever demons threaten you
Must reckon first with me
Cos I won’t let you go before
The darkness disappears
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: cowparsleyman on August 23, 2019, 08:04:06 AM
Good morning @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) - Nice to her from you again, some folk struggle to get anywhere near a DAW, so don't do yourself down...

Just taking another listen now...You definitely have a style of your own, the vibrato on your held notes is certainly a feature of your style.

To my ears the mix is fine, the whistle is lovely, (harmonies work well with whistles, just for a few notes though, pick the hook you have established earlier, and re emphasize it in the next place it's used but with a harmony) it might be better to hang it out wider, during the Verse so it doesn't get in the way of the LVox (it might just be these earbuds...)

Nice idea to use vibrato electric guitar instead of acoustic, and no drums, this was one area that I wondered about, what is the keying element for the rhythm? a gently strummed acoustic gtr or a deep military snare playing very short fills during the later choruses might works...(just ideas)

Plenty of space given for the LVox, as this piece is a really about lyrics and their meaning

Mid8 very nice.

A very original piece of work Karen/Johann

Hope this helps...
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: PaulAds on August 23, 2019, 12:21:18 PM
There must be demons out there in force as I started to write something about them coming for me yesterday...

This is really lovely...the "demons" line is the highlight for me...but the whole thing is very sweet. Lyrics are super. Love how it gently makes its exit too... Remember how the blockheads used to just put their instruments down and wander off-stage one at a time at the end of the gig? Very cool.

When the bass started that ascent, I'd have put my house on drums or percussion coming in...so you sold me a dummy there!

I often think you have a very special almost spiritual sound to your voice and the music supports that feeling too.

Listened several times and enjoyed it more each time 😃
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: MichaelA on August 23, 2019, 02:02:26 PM
Hi Karen, this is quite theatrical for you, quite a dramatic offering.

The sustained notes of the chorus really soar after the busier rhythmic verse, and those harmonies then cut through in a gorgeous and powerful way.

There is something very beautiful in this mash up of Celtic / folkie influence with a pithy vocal delivery seeped in contemporary soft rock that you have woven here. Confident vocals and super tone.

Yeah that chorus is really something! Different and marvellous!
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: PaulyX on August 23, 2019, 07:04:09 PM
Cracking lyrics.  The demon line and the ones about being on the earth before.  Deeeep, man, without being pretentious.  Super stuff. 
Cracking track overall in fact, I really liked it.  I thought the mix was fine - the vocals are very prominent but that felt like a totally valid choice for this kind of lyrics-led ballad.  You have that excellent Celtic / folkie vibe weaving its way through this one too (sometimes I remember bands like Clannad when I listen to your stuff; this one also put me in mind of late 60s divas like Bridget St John or Nico... I think that's the strong, unique presence of your vocal style).
I'm afraid I don't have any crits to offer, anything I would suggest would risk making it more conventional (like adding drums) but it doesn't need that.  Bravo.
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: pompeyjazz on August 23, 2019, 07:11:31 PM
The lyrics are stunning and so personal. My favourites are the final piece "Whatever demons threaten you
Must reckon first with me Cos I won’t let you go before the darkness disappears" Sums up the whole piece. Well performed and arranged and love the whistle and the harmonies. A super piece of music Karen  :)
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: Skub on August 23, 2019, 10:18:36 PM
Yo @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820)

That whistle,man that's hairs on the back of the neck stuff.

The piece is loaded with melancholy Celtic vibes and packed to the gunnels with heartfelt emotion.

Lyrics are wonderfully intimate and intense.

To be honest Karen,I listened multiple times just for the sheer pleasure of listening,not thinking of the mix or anything else. I read a lot and I always like a book which takes me away from the notion of reading a book and immerses me in the story and the characters. If I was to begin thinking about the author or how this book compares with previous novels,then I've lost something. I'm no longer along for the ride,I'm a bloody book critique.

I know you asked for comments specifically about the mix,but that's not where my head was at while listening!

Anyway,now I've stopped,I don't recall hearing anything out of place. Yeah,I know,I'm a shit critic.  8)
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: CaliaMoko on August 23, 2019, 11:23:14 PM
Since I can't tell the difference between a good mix and a bad mix, I'll just skip that part of the review and say...this is totally lovely. Anything I add will just be repeating everyone else's praise, so read them all again and put my name at the end. :D
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: RealKevM on August 23, 2019, 11:25:45 PM
Really good feel to this. I would really slow down the verses, I feel that you are rushing through them and it would sound a lot better if you allowed the verses to breathe.
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: crystalsuzy on August 24, 2019, 03:46:17 AM
I've listened to this several times now K  :) I loved it the first time, but it just seems to get better and better with each listen. I don't know if you've watched "Highlander" on netflix, but it reminds me of the music that's played on that show 8) Very cool indeed. I love the whistle and your vocals and lyrics are supper :) I'm sorry but I have nothing to nit pick about this track. It's just lovely  :)
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: shadowfax on August 24, 2019, 09:28:01 AM
If you told me this was a song from a west end play I would accept it 100%...it's fab, everything about it works, singing ..lyrics..arrangement..maybe the whistle is a touch loud..maybe not, don't fret it 8)

this is class work and you should be very chuffed my friend!! :) :) :)
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: rightly on August 24, 2019, 03:03:31 PM
A very enjoyable listen, it came across as quite heartfelt
Dramatic, really quite accomplishment.
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: nooms on August 24, 2019, 03:13:53 PM
brilliant song
great vocal and words
love the way it builds momentum.. before you know it your on a wave and the chorus rears up undeniable and defiant..
compelling listening..
really striking

Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: redrhodie on August 24, 2019, 08:31:09 PM
Hi Karen,

Wow, so powerful and intense. Sent chills down my spine. Really dark sounding. Your voice cuts like a knife. Sounds like you mean every word. Beautiful song, and once again, I stand in in awe.

Lynn
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: Andreas on August 24, 2019, 09:31:21 PM
This is fabulous @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) :) The intensity in this is so powerful and it flows through the entire song. You definitely have a style of your own, and I really like it! I must say I enjoyed this very, very much! :)
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: Modestmouse1965/ on August 25, 2019, 09:08:29 PM
Hi great dark song dont know much about production but cant hear anything that puts me off. Dont know why but i can hear Kate Bush proudly singing this one. Cheers.
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: adamfarr on August 26, 2019, 10:05:15 AM
"Whatever demons threaten you/Must reckon first with me"
This line may be the best thing I have heard all year.

And I particularly love opening lines which hit hard, which this is a fabulous example of.

Somehow the song follows its own rules - the verse lyrics (never cliched or forced) just come tumbling out.

Great production choices - the whistle, your voice also sounding remarkable here.

Wow, fantastic, emotional, and compelling stuff.
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: MonnoDB on August 26, 2019, 03:34:00 PM
Wow! thanks so much for the positive feedback.. I'm a little blown away tbh... I get so consumed by the time I surrender the mix, I never know what I've done.. I'm completely chuffed at the feedback and thank you all for taking the time to listen and comment.

@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) Thanks so much for your lovely comments - yes there are a lot of words in those verses, tumbling out is a good way to describe it....

@Modestmouse1965/ (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22459) thanks a mill! Appreciated!

@Younger Hills (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22101) Thanks a mill :)

@redrhodie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21171) - wow you are too kind, Lynn.. I'm so glad you liked it.

@nooms (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=11264) - thank you for your kind words and, well, I had a good steer on the arrangement from the King of Build himself :)

@Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) - thanks a mill for your comments :) ..

@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) Wow high praise, sir!

@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) - thanks so much, you are always so encouraging - I really appreciate it.. such lovely words..

@RealKevM (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21324) - thanks! Yes lots of words indeed.. I even took some out already :) !

@CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928) thanks so much Vicki.. so glad you liked it.

@Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) - you are always so supportive, I very much appreciate it. Such lovely words. Glad you enjoyed the whistle - it seemed to fit somehow!

@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) John you are too kind, sir! Delighted you enjoyed it!

@PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) - what lovely comments, I thank you.. Actually I did have drums in it initially but I took them out again as I wasn't convinced they added anything... perhaps just the ones I used and it did save me some hair as I hate mixing them!

@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) - theatrical and dramatic eh? You know that's not me at all  ;D :) - I have noticed the "drama" word appear a few times.. Thanks for your supportive comments, always welcome!

@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) Yes drums almost made it on there but as noted above, I took them out again! Love that image of the Blockheads.. Thanks for your lovely comments..

@Cowparsleyman - Rich thanks a mill for checking it out.. Good pointers re the rhythm ... as noted I couldn't make the drums work with it but interested in what you've noted. 

Thanks again all..

K
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: diademgrove on August 31, 2019, 10:49:39 AM
Hi MonnoDB,

I didn't miss the drums until I read cowparsleyman's reply. I'm not sure you need anything to generate a pulse. I feel it would take something precious away from the song. The whistle is great.

Keith
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: Paulski on August 31, 2019, 12:38:42 PM
Lovely ballad that packs a power punch lyrically.
I noticed that line Adam pointed out as a highlight of the song too.
Great chorus and instrument choice.
Vox are outstanding.
Nothing to nit about here.  :D :D

cheers
Paul
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: cowparsleyman on August 31, 2019, 03:01:14 PM
@diademgrove (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19135) - I'm not sure if it would work at all, I had the same issue on 'About Bees' I tried putting a milatry snare way in the back, just something key the listener's ear...I couldn't make it work in that song, and I'm sure that it wouldn't work in this ojne, but the acoustic gtr might have worked a tad easier...

I just found that as I was listening I was searching for a pulse, might not be the same for the next person...maybe the pulse is a little bigger, maybe at the end of each line, rather than beat/bar wise. I have to think laterally...

Such a treat to hear these songs, pure class, many of these songs on this forum would, 30 years ago,  have been in the top 40. So good to have high quaility resources at our fingertips, for less than the price of a day at a top studio.



 

Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: irwin on August 31, 2019, 04:03:40 PM
Hi, very nice song the kind of song I wish I could of written. Keep it up and best of luck.

Irwin
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: MonnoDB on September 06, 2019, 07:46:42 PM
@irwin (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19439) thanks a mill - appreciate your comments..

@Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) wow high praise and much appreciated, sir! Means a lot coming from your good self!

@diademgrove (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19135) and @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) - I've been tinkering a little - mostly vox and whistle levels and panning (I'm not done yet) so I kinda looked at the rhythm think but I think I would make it worse not better so I'm gonna just tweak and not alter the arrangement.. Thanks both for  making me think.. Glad you like the whistle, Keith - I seriously need to practice it, I dig it out very rarely :) ..

K
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: cowparsleyman on September 07, 2019, 06:01:00 AM
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) - hi karen, it’s a real tricky thing ..adding rhythm, i also tried on About Bees but came to the same conclusion that it’s better without, one has to stick to how you like it...have you got to that ‘yes it’s ready and i love it’ point yet, i don’t know if you ever painted in oils but that moment comes and i also experience that in writing and producing songs.

The critique on this forum acts to challenge that moment and sometimes I take inspiration from them and yes change it.

Anyway karen looking forward to hearing the reworked version.
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: Neil C on September 13, 2019, 03:43:33 PM
Just to say just had a spin and really enjoyed it. The arrangement suited your vocals and melody, and the pipes were top lovely and evocative.
:-)
neil
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: Jamie on September 13, 2019, 04:37:20 PM
Hi MonnoDB, really enjoyable, and not at all the sort of thing I would gravitate towards, but excellent nevertheless! Loved the vocals and the celtic feel with the whistle. Excellent harmonies too. I feelt it could have done with some percussion, but not a std drum sound, maybe a tambour or a bodhran (think thats how you spell it :P).
Very good!
Cheers
Jamie
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: MonnoDB on September 18, 2019, 01:10:00 PM
Quick post to say thank you to @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) and @Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) .. thank you both for giving it a spin.. Yes the percussion is a dilemma... I think I'm going to forgo as I'm afraid nothing I've tried so far worked.. Having said that, I haven't actually tried a bodhrán (yes correct spelling apart from the accent on the a  :) :)) . Thank you both!

K
Title: Re: Hold Me Tight
Post by: LostBoy on September 18, 2019, 10:43:54 PM
Karen!! This is glorious mate! I really love it as it is, that whistle thingy....my god!! Are you playing that?? Sooo good!

Now, as you asked about the mix I’ll tell you what I noticed...now, again, I reiterate that it’s lovely as it is.....but you asked...😜 sooo...I’m listening on Apple pods and I think the first verse vocal seems a little muffled. (Reverbs fault perhaps?🤷🏼‍♂️)  I also thought that there were parts of the first half of the song where some words were too quiet and some were too loud...for example the first use of the word “fear” seems too loud. And then the second verse...starts too quiet...”I know your LAUGHTER IT CAN RING” gets loud...then perhaps too quiet for “darkness ever lifts, cast the past adrift”.

It’s such a lovely dynamic vocal delivery, but I would look at a little more volume automation , or perhaps stack compressors? Just to balance it out a touch more.

I hope this helps mate! I really enjoyed this one! Well done! 🎶👊🏻🎶😄