The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Anthony Skye on August 17, 2019, 07:58:47 AM
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Parting ways - Anthony Skye
https://soundcloud.com/user-347931859/parting-ways
You take me by the hand
together we stand
it's not what we had planned
We are parting ways
these are final days
my hearth is saying stay
Stay
my hearth is saying stay
say you will stay
You climb into the train
has all this been in vain
it's causing me pain
You open up the door
we kiss a little more
I'm feeling kinda sore
Why? As a hobby. I like to produce music.
Aims? To get better and better as a songwriter/producer.
Comments? Maybe mostly things about production. What need to be done to make it sound better and more professionally produced.
Thanks =)
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Hello Anthony, welcome. Nice build in your track and you for sure employ the quiet/loud contrast to good effect... made me think of Nirvana the first time the big guitars came in. You wanted tips on production: it felt tight to me, I did think the vocals and acoustic could have a bit more presence about them (some more echo or reverb perhaps) as they sounded a little thin, and maybe the vocals sounded a bit hesitant (but perhaps that was the effect you were aiming for). The levels felt good to me though.
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Thanks PaulyX for your thoughts. Much appreciated. These kinds of comments make's it that much easier to know where I need to improve my producing.
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Welcome to the forum Anthony. An interesting piece. Production wise, I'm of the same opinion as PaulyX in that I think the acoustic could do with more depth, reverb or delay or double it up or a combination of all !
I like when the heavier guitar comes in. Stick around and join in and I'm sure that you'll get lots of helpful advice and tips
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Welcome Indeed Anthony - where is the photo taken?
This tune is an enigma. It didn’t ring my bell the 1st listen, but i got my head into gear and thought hmmm this is really something special...a bit like naieve kunst...like a Lowry painting, the closest thing it reminded me Sunshine on Leith by the proclaimers... my heart was broken repeated.. now if your heart is really broken you cant think of much at all, except that your heart is broken, and this song is similar....
Ideas for production..hmmmm.. drop the acoustic gtr during the electric gtr part to give it proper contrast between the sections...a cleaner crunch overdrive rather than too distorted may be more hooky...wondering about keeping the drums as is for the verses but more bluesy drums for the e guitar part.
I think the closer you can make the lead vocal the more personal the message will be, watch out for the popping Ps though..aim you voice off mic.
Like the so simple bass line.
Tiny embellishments will work well on this as it’s so bare, think of them as sparkles that listeners will want to hear when you play it live just be so subtle with them.
Oh yeah, and just a single unprocessed acoustic gtr for the verses...
Maybe put it left of centre to avoid clashing with the vox...
Hope this helps.
Look forward to hearing what you do with it.
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Really interesting piece...
To try and help...pulling the bass up and getting it cooking with the drums would be my suggestion of the most immediate way of improving it. The drums could do with having a clearer idea of where they are heading...they seem a little random currently.
Pretty good atmospheric sound you have going...definitely has something I found fascinating about it.
Nice work...hope you stick around :-)