The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: nooms on August 17, 2019, 01:24:23 AM
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big thanks to neil for his patience .. i was supposed to put this up weeks back but real life had other plans..
a song from the hampshire weaver and myself..
hope it hits the spot
all or any thoughts welcome, we wanna get it right
https://soundcloud.com/nooms-1/i-want-my-share-master-10-feb-2019/s-kxtEe
WANT MY SHARE
well im keeping my blues, subterranean
but my thoughts roaring out, like a stadium
no there aint no use in me explaining
what i found in your albanian bible
do what you gotta do but i want my share..
dont let it put you off
was toning up my tedium
my large as i life is only helium
i got all my heart and soul in them
so when you meet the big boss man beware
theres only sand in your albanian bible
do what you gotta do
but i want my share
what im doin it for
you owe it me..
i wish you well, wont pay my bills
or rock my rocking chair
so im keeping my blues, subterranean
but my thoughts are roaring out, like a stadium
got my heart and soul in them and
i want my share, what im doing it for
you owe it me..
i wish you well,
wont pay my bills
or rock my rocking chair
i want my share
nooms/connor 2019
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This is really great guys. Delicious balanced production. The acoustic riff that opens it draws you in immediately. I loved the lyrics, just the right shade of cryptic for me ("Albanian bible" - what's going on there? And the non-sequiturs like "not paying your bills or your rocking chair". Ain't no lazy spoon/moon/June-ing going on here). Your voice sounds great Nooms, you've probably had this before but I thought it had a Chris Rea-esque husky charm to it. Top work and a foot tapper, I can't think of any suggestions to improve it.
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Super lyrics and top notch instrumentation..cool singing, this is radio ready for sure...perfection guys.. :) 8)
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My two cents:
Melody and production are top notch. Radio ready.
I might add a twist on lyrics and vocals. Maybe some small parts that move faster with the beat. It might be
just my personal preference with pop music that is hearing this and it might too far out
of the blues that you are going with here.
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@nooms (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=11264) - whos the vocalist and lyricist? Simple brilliant work...sequel to Underfelt..
...seems to be some varying verbs.. dry Lvox and 12 string, drums are a bit wet, solo gtrs have a bit...maybe stick a tad on the 2buss...
But not much
Love it guys...very very good
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@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308)
I write and record the backing track and nooms fashions the lyrics and melody. Simps :-)
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Oh yeah - I'm really enjoying this one. Everything just gels together so well. Nooms vocals just suit this style so well. There's some very tasty guitar going on here and I think this is one is produced absolutely superbly. Everything is in the right space. Absolute quality of the highest order :)
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Great track guys! nice groove, lead guitar sound and playing fits so nice in this and the vocals top it off. well done!
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Really classy, this!
Lyrics are brilliant...and so well delivered.
I love how the electric and acoustic guitars take turns at whacking the riffs out. I was just typing how excellent the lead guitar is...and the tiny bit around 2:13 was the only thing that I thought wasn't a 100% knockout...seems silly even mentioning it...it's nowt, really...'twas just a thought.
Great production...the sound seems to leap out of speakers too...very cool.
I bought some good monitors a few weeks back...and this is the sort of thing that takes advantage of them...in fact, I fired up something I'm working on and tried to figure out what I could learn from this...so thanks for that too!
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Can't offer much more than praise for this. Like everything about it. Lyrics were captivating, and I didn't know what to expect from them. Something about it made me think of the Cohen brothers. I could imagine them building an entire film around this. Dark with an underlying humor. Very cool.
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This is VERY cool! Everything about it - great track, real expert playing and production. Just loved the lyrics - intriguing.. great vocal. Fab song @Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) and @nooms (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=11264) !!
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A match made in heaven guysm 1+1 = 3. For some reason I got some 10cc vibe from it. Great vox and guitaring and a very polished production. Perhaps the vocals could come up just a tad in the mix?
Nothing much to add really, enjoyed it, one to be proud of for sure.
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Neil can put a track together for sure. That Kemper is a tool in your hands!
nooms can write and sing a lyric for sure.
You pair work really well together,this is a quality,classy piece. Nuff said.
I dig. 8)
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Right up my street rockwise...kind of lazy, mellow vibe...and I'm a big JJCale fan...so like it laid-back!
The production is great...crisp..lot of almost percussive notes (not musical notes) in that acoustic guitar.
What I've come to expect in a Nooms vocal delivery, nice and mellow...enjoyed the harmonies a lot. And stylishly turned out lyric with a couple of neat, satisfying rhymes.
Love the squeezed out lead guitar lines in the first instrumental interlude at 1.00 and the main solo was bloody nice too.
Quietly catchy.
Wasn't madly keen on the organ sound if you want any pickiness...but that's all!
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PaulyX - thanks I love the lyrics and tend to hear them before I get to read them, and love the way the vocals repay repeated listening as the layers unfold into ones ears :-)
Shadowfax - Kev delighted with your feedback thanks
Anthony Skye - thanks for your comment. I think its really interesting to hear how different people and different styles have with their vocal timing. rooms is very much laid back.... no need to rush
cowparsleyman - I'm sure you're right about varying reverbs - I dont really think like a producer around what a room sounds like or to be honest worked out busses, so tend to put whatever I feel goes with the instrument at the time...
PompeyJazz - cheers - delighted on the comment about the production
Bostonfan2 - thanks for the list and comments appreciate it
PaulAds - thanks for those encouraging words. Re the guitars, I had the kernel of the songs and riff around for a few years and I was just jamming the solo over it and I know the exact bit you mean when I make a mistake, but I just loved the live feel of the rest of that 1 take that I decided to keep it real and in there..
redrhodie - Cohen brothers film - there's a challenge!
MonnoDB - 'This is VERY cool! Everything about it' thanks for that feedback
Jambrains - 10cc, love them but hhmmm. I was hearing Lets Dance Bowie meets Steely Dan in my mind..
Skub - 'quality,classy piece' thanks a lot
The Count - great you liked it and your feedback. Will have to check the organ patch though..
and thanks you nooms for bringing to to life :-)
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WOW! What an awesome track Neil and Nooms :o I love everything about it, but the lyrics are especially intriguing 8)
I love that kind of JJKale laid back vibe :-* You guys rock! Doesn't get much better than this :)
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It's the blues, Jim, but not as we know it... so much more than blues. I'm blowed if I understand what it's about, but I'm certain I'll have it on repeat.
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I loved it chaps. Super music/production and classy lyrics. I doff my cap.
Great stuff!
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Had to pick up my Acoustic guitar after listening to this. Inspiring from start to finish. More from you guys.