The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Wicked Deeds on August 14, 2019, 07:47:46 PM
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Hello folks,
I'm going to signal my return to the forum with an old song that has recently been updated with the addition of drums, remixed and mastered. Six months ago, I put together my second album "Midday In The Universe and this song had booked it's place in the line up. It probably would have been released in January of this year but then a bomb exploded in my life and after relocating to the northwest where I moved for love, I left my job and returned to my home town. I was fortunate to quickly find employment but I had to stay with family until the tenancy agreement on my own property expired and I was able to reclaim my own house. In prayer is quite possibly the darkest song that I have written. It was written at the end of my marriage after 26 years. Six years on from that fateful day, this song is now as poignant as ever though this time around, my beliefs are now shot to pieces. no one pulls us out of a rut but ourselves! I have no idea when I will find my spark again but surely, music must play a part! Anyway, I've installed my studio and it will be fired up soon. "Music was my first love and it will be my last............" This is the new, improved version of In Prayer
https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1/in-prayer
Going to talk to Jesus, he's sure to find me.
Make no mistake, I lost my way.
I will claim his love; may love surround me.
I'm going to ask The Lord to stay.
He knows my sadness, every secret.
I was lost before today.
When the parties are all done.
Should you feel that you're alone.
When word goes 'round the neighbourhood
that you're no longer there,
may you find yourself in prayer.
Written by Paul Vasey
https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1/in-prayer
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Nice to have you back and sharing your songs Paul :) Seems like a few of us have been away and struggling with our real lives. I wish you all the best in your new situation. Change in inevitable in life, but music will always be there for us to use as our creative playground. :)
I kind of remember this one from a while back and I really liked then, but I really like the addition of the drums. Makes it even more dramatic and gives it that kind of plodding along feel, which I think the content of this song reflects 8) Good luck with your album :)
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It seems so many of us are having such serious challenges in our lives--so much more than I remember at any time in the past. All the personal turmoil going on reflects the chaos in the world at large these days. Or perhaps it's the other way around. In any case, as we navigate these fiery travails, may we all emerge strong and shiny like steel.
I like what @crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) said about the drums. They provide an image of a person pulling a heavy load and thudding one foot at a time firmly to the ground, with determination, moving forward, slowly, step by step.
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Wow Paul that is a powerful backstory! I also turned to music after many years after bad stuff occurring in my life.
So I can feel the depth of the emotion coming through in this song. The best bit of it is that hypnotic piano riff which I could play all day.
I'm not convinced that the wind sound effects added a lot, in fact took some of the focus away from your vulnerable and emotional vocal performance. Nice how you stop it all after the mid 8 and then back onto that hypnotic riff. Leaves you wanting more, really good. ;)
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@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) - Good to hear your work again...interesting back story, love the vocal approach, and that the beginning isn't crammed with words, you let the song breathe and the lyrics emerge.
This is the now the 2nd listen...on iphone earbuds. very nice, fretless bass suits well...
Took me back a bit..the finish...I thought it might have had more legs...but nope, that's OK - very good indeed, nicely produced too.
Hope this helps.
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Super track Paul. I really like the way it 'trudges along' - that's meant as a compliment, as it totally fits the mood of the song. I would also be inclined to lose the waves/wind sound effects though (or at least turn them down a lot), I thought they laboured the point a bit. I also very much liked the contrast between the optimism of the lyrics and the downbeat feel of the music... hard to know if the narrator is being cynical about what they are saying, and I really liked that ambivalence. Anyway I hope the sun comes out for you very soon... in the meantime the clouds have helped you produce a great track.
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Paul, stark, moody and heartfelt.
I like the way the reflective lyrics and the music intertwine.
Going to have another listen
Powerful
:)
neil
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Yo Paul,good to see/hear you back again,I hope things are improving for you.
Like PaulyX,I enjoyed the ambiguity in the lyrics,it's a song which can be all things to all people.
I'm always intrigued by the great songs coming from times of trouble,I suppose everyone can identify with that aspect.
Of late I've been loving short songs (sub 3 mins) so this one ticks that box,it's good to leave folk wanting more!
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lovely dark intro
moody feel piano and way the song moves.. and great bass !
hearts in the vocal and the track
the final line where the ground seems to fall away..
fine song as youd expect from the vasey canon..
great work pv
and adding some light to proceedings..
congrats to young Tom, youll have to send him to work with a few CDs in his rucksack
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Unique and brimming with honesty and integrity.
Top quality.
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I'm very thankful that live has never put me in a place that would cause me write such a dark song, must've been lucky :)
as has been said..a powerful and heartfelt song...onwards and upwards mate.. :)
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This has a great atmosphere to it. I particularly liked the piano throughout - it has great impact. The return after the stop is wonderful. Classy piece of songwriting and production. And there's nothing better than songwriting as therapy I find... Really enjoyed this @Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231)
K