The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: LostBoy on August 11, 2019, 11:31:13 AM
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Hello everyone,
About 6 months ago I posted a version of this. I wasn't happy with the feel of the second half of the song and so I have rearranged it. A big thanks to my pal Jambrains for providing some awesome guitar solos.🤘🏻🤪👍🏻
Sooo...my questions are...does it feel right to you? And are the vocals sitting ok in the final choruses?
Thanks very much.😁👍🏻
Listen to Volcano (alternate rock arrangement🤘🏻) by Pebble Wreck on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/leo-b-5/volcano-alternate-rock-arrangement
Volcano
Sometimes it feels like I'm losing myself
So tired of the battles that rage in my head
Can anyone offer a light in the darkness
Can anyone show me how to close my mind
The pressure rises up to the surface
Can't let go...want to though...Volcano...Volcano
I'm better than that.
Sometimes it feels like the world's in my face
Can't reason with demons
They leap on my faith
Does anyone out there have the answer
Can anyone show me how to free my mind
I'm trapped inside, becoming an island
Can't let go...want to though...Volcano...Volcano
I'm better than that...
Try to rise above it all in my mind.
Volcano looming underneath
I keep fighting it, I don't wanna lose control
So quit trying to make a mountain out of me
You can't, I'm not gonna go volcano
Volcano boiling over me
I keep fighting it, I don't wanna lose it all
So quit trying to cast a shadow over me...step back
I'm not gonna go volcano.
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Hi!
This is very well produced! The whole song really feels like one solid piece. I first expected a more energetic section to come, don't know why but it's there bubbling somewhere. It didn't come. But it didn't disappoint me cos the song has a sweet atmosphere that might have been ruined if it did.
Great singing! Well done!
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The song itself reminded me a lot of something Imagine Dragons could have made. You have a fantastic voice, and from the verses, I thought this was going to be a rock song, but then you kept it down in the chorus to make this a fantastic, something between a pop and rock song :)
The vocals sat really well in the last chorus, and I really enjoyed the outro bit, after the last line. I must admit I expected you to raise the voice and go bigger, but with the atmosphere and your amazing voice, you made up for that :)
Well done!
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Whato Leo @LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481)
Much nicer, love so much of this from an arrangement point of view
1. Deep Cello at the beginning - very original, love it, has a sense of forboding.
2. Didn't expect the pop drums - they are a most welcome deviation from the predictable rock drums.
3. @2:24 - love those back of the mix Vox - so so hooky.
4. Love the ending orchestration, flutes, clarinets, exsquisite.
5. Very very clever use of different drums throughout, (kick :0:50 is totally flat compared to that in the Gtr Solo) - love these ideas.
Ideas
1. There are a opportunities to add contrast to the single LVox model - @1:50 Don't let go could have a double or a harmony, suggest you don't do it again, so it acts like a hook.
2. Full stop @2:10 for 1 bar the echo keeps going 'I'm better than that BANG the solo starts, maybe bring the solo up a tad, it sounds like there is some mod fx on it, it might punch through the mix better with it off, unless you don't want it a traditional gtr solo.
Hope this helps, superb work
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I didn't hear the previous version, but I surely do like this one! I'll leave any nits to the others and just enjoy the sound, cuz I don't hear them. I always love your voice. This is great!
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Hey man, this one is really a well-produced song, and my comments would be ditto to what he others have said. Now, maybe this could be an idea, I don't know. But I think if you put in a rap verse from a rapping artist, it won't be like the cherry on top of this great sundae. Regardless of what you do, it's already amazing as it is!
Rocky
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Pop/rock at it's best my friend, you've just raised the bar again goddamnit!!! :o :o
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I really enjoyed the original Leo. Loved the @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) added guitar. This is top quality work. You're vocals are outstanding and @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) never fails to deliver with the geetar!
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Really like this version. I really liked the song in its previous incarnation, but this one supports the energy much better and keeps the mood and coherence.
"Don't wanna go volcano" is a great turn of phrase, love the concept.
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The song's got an epic feel to it and that cinematic feel you were hoping to achieve is there now. I had a quick listen to the old version, which I liked actually, but you've smoothed this version out in the mix and in the instrumentation so that it lulls you into the build a lot more easily. When the explosive guitars come in it is certainly like the volcano has erupted. Very convincing.
Those sweet harmonies at the end of the song are sublime and tantalising in that I wanted to hear more of them.
But yeah, it is great to sometimes leave a good song alone for a few months, then come back later on a fresh head and make it better. Great polishing in my view!
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This is commercial songwriting of the highest quality. Well done my friend!
Paul
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That’s pretty darn epic Leo. Loved the appearance of the drums just after “I’m better than that.” The whole thing ebbed and flowed very well, building up the emotion. Change nowt - you’ve nailed it.
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Yo Leo,always good to hear another Leo choon!
Intro oozes quality melancholy,love the drums when they kick in,very fresh sound.
Lovely stadium sounding playing from Johan. No crits from me,I heard the song as a polished and cohesive result. Sometimes when we make changes we just make a track different rather than better,but everything I hear is an improvement.
Classy work. 8)
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@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) - Leo this sounds great.. I already liked the song and I think you've done a great job with it. Very polished and professional sound... Gotta love that guitar solo too! Big thumbs up from me!!
K
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A huge thank you to everyone for your feedback on this track. I appreciate it very much. I’m glad you like it.😄🎶👍🏻🎶🙏🏻