The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Krysoe on July 18, 2019, 10:59:56 AM
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Hello All, here is a new but still very old fashion love song. Written and recorded 100 % virtual in corporation with a good old friend in our common retirement project. Thanks in advance for any feedback.
[/soundcloud]https://soundcloud.com/klaus-rysoe/our-way
Tonight, my love oh tonight
see the moon is shining bright
On the path for you and me
we found a way to navigate
and to cross the stormy Sea
to find the harbor with the perfect harmony
Hey, Hey there
hey my love
can you hear me when I call
call your name
I hope to see you drifting this way
I will be waiting through all nights
and endless days
(ch)
Kiss the world with a smile
feel how it change your life.
hold my hand tonight
let’s jump to see how friends
can touch the sky
Hey, Hey there
hey my love
I feel so good to have you here
next to me
all the rest of our life
please keep staying here with me.
for as long - as you can be
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I have two suggestions for word edits that I think work better:
"I will be waiting through all long nights"
"feel how it change changes your life"
It's a pretty ballad.
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Hi. Maybe it is the organ but I thought this had a 60s ballad kind of feel, a bit like "Whiter Shade of Pale". Your vocal sounds impassioned, and you layer on some nice backing vocals too. Slightly on the long side at almost 5 minutes perhaps? But a well produced love song - nice one.
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I have two suggestions for word edits that I think work better:
"I will be waiting through all long nights"
"feel how it change changes your life"
It's a pretty ballad.
Happy you like the song and thanks a million for the feedback I will take with me when I do a new update to the song.
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Hi. Maybe it is the organ but I thought this had a 60s ballad kind of feel, a bit like "Whiter Shade of Pale". Your vocal sounds impassioned, and you layer on some nice backing vocals too. Slightly on the long side at almost 5 minutes perhaps? But a well produced love song - nice one.
Thanks a lot for your feedback, Spot On - yes late 60's is the time I started to study more detailed and get influenced in my own music by bands from UK and US. Yes I know its a bit too long but difficult to find a place to cut :-)