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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Works in Progress => Topic started by: kaalbas on July 06, 2019, 09:26:48 PM

Title: Need some help
Post by: kaalbas on July 06, 2019, 09:26:48 PM
Hey

I Need some help writing the right lyrics to my song. What feeling do you get from the song melody?

Thank Michael

Listen here: https://soundcloud.com/michael-harboe-skjoldborg/instrumental
Title: Re: Need some help
Post by: CaliaMoko on July 06, 2019, 10:25:10 PM
Two things come to my mind right away...but not anything helpful. :(

1. I don't hear a melody, and although I can make one up to the accompaniment, I don't know if it's what you have in mind.

2. It would help if you already have some kind of idea what mood or topic or theme you want for the song. Do you have anything at all in mind for a story for the lyric?
Title: Re: Need some help
Post by: kaalbas on July 07, 2019, 07:45:29 AM
I have fought about something like going through something difficult and coming out stronger. Maybe "through the fire". But does it fit the song?
Title: Re: Need some help
Post by: CaliaMoko on July 07, 2019, 04:03:20 PM
I have fought about something like going through something difficult and coming out stronger. Maybe "through the fire". But does it fit the song?
I'm no expert, but I think it fits the mood.
Title: Re: Need some help
Post by: LizNic on August 06, 2019, 04:42:45 AM
Do you have the melody? The background sounds great!
Title: Re: Need some help
Post by: Girlinside on August 21, 2019, 10:19:32 PM
Listened to a bit and wrote this

Scream scream

Scream scream - scream scream
there’s no in between
in the life we live

you ask forgiveness
from the top table
but you’re not able to forgive yourself

Scream scream - scream scream
there’s no in between
in the life we live

the dreams we have are reality
the life we live are just insane

if you aren’t dining on the top table
you’re left with labels that smell of scum
and you’ll never see the sun on birthdays

Scream scream - scream scream
there’s no in between
in the life we live

we all seek the door way to new life
but do we all want kids and wives

I’m not crazy , I’m not crazy
but need to scream , need to scream

Scream scream - scream scream
there’s no in between
in the life we live

Fades

Arghhhhh , arghhh
Arghhhhh , arghhh
Arghhhhh , arghhh
Arghhhhh , arghhh
Arghhhhh , arghhh
Arghhhhh , arghhh










Title: Re: Need some help
Post by: Modestmouse1965/ on August 25, 2019, 05:57:22 PM
Hi not sure why but i can hear Female rock vocals on this. I can also hear rock organ sound in parts. Just a suggestion cheers.

Looking for feedback on a couple of demos myself cheers