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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: PaulyX on June 22, 2019, 10:53:03 AM
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Hi guys
So Neil and I have been working on the second collaboration in our 'trilogy'. ;)
This one is called "Indian Rope Trick". I came up with some words, chords and overall theme which Neil expertly knocked into shape and did nearly all the playing, arrangement and production... including a rather lovely Middle 8 - he's a master.
We hope you likee.
Indian Rope Trick
V1
Having rubbed my oil lamp until my palms were raw
I crawled out of the desert, looking for the girl I'd met
The night before the full moon, looking and sleeping rough,
She was not a genie, but damn that girl was close enough
V2
I came across a caravan of yogis thieves and pedlars
Caught a glimpse of her fair form and called out to address her
But she started climbing up a rope to nowhere
Swaying like a cobra as the crowd fell dumb and stared
CHORUS
I was trying to get a grip on her Indian Rope Trick
How she smiled, and straightened up her hair
Then she disappeared! In front of all the fakirs
But I knew she must be hiding, must be hiding somewhere
V3
In the slums of Bangalore I met a pale youth
He said his name was Julian and he'd met her too
To him her eyes were hazel - to me they had been blue
It took more than an arm-wrestle to conclude both views were true
M8
We rode on dirty tuk-tuks down to the dusty market square
We found a thousand of her lovers, lusting after thin air
V4
For that girl is a figment of every young man's longing
You'll meet her on your gap year and the gap will keep on growing
She's a kind of metaphor, a lesson from the cosmos
And that's what we had met her for - to learn that LOVE IS LOSS
CHORUS
And now we're trying to get a grip on her Indian Rope Trick
How she smiles, and straightens up her hair
And when she disappears in front of all the fakirs
We all think she must be hiding, must be hiding somewhere
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Guy's..this is a rather good track! very well put together and a good story, instrumentation excellent, but then it usually is with NC innit!!! 8) 8) everything went well with the lyrics..a very good collab for sure..well done..
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Fab work guys!!
Lyrics tells a great story and backing has loads of dynamics and tasty small embellishments.
Can't really fault anything. Love the the La-la-la's towards then end:-)
Well done!
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Nice collab from a talented pair of songwriters and musicians IMHO!
Great story in this. Learned a new word - fakirs ;D
Guitars and vocals were the stars for me - and those unique drums every now and then added some extra spice.
Could be trimmed a bit in length but maybe that's my short attention span talking ;D
Now, what was I saying?
Hehe - good work guys - one to be proud of ;D ;D
Paul
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What wonderful story telling!! And I love the melody!
Great song! Off for another listen :)!
K
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Thought it had a touch of Bowie about it - I think it’s a grower /I like the instrumental.
Vocals are clear and really good
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This was a treat. The story was so well conceived and told that I got images in my head. I listened to it yesterday and can still remember it. Well done guys.
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These fakirs get everywhere! But yeah, got to admire the controlled storytelling and its unique narrative style. The giant chord strumming adds a cool dynamic and overall the instrumentation is so full of interest this is great.
Fab vocal backing at the end. Enjoyed this one very much indeed! :)
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The writing on this is really stellar and great fun! “She’s a kind of metaphor...and that’s what we had met her for” (I LOVE clever shit like that.😄👍🏻) So many great lines...imagery is wonderful.....hahaha well maybe apart from the thought of younger men rubbing their lamps until their hands are raw!!🤣🤣🤣🤪
Production is lovely too...the only thing that flagged up for me was that you lose the presence of the lead vocal on the last choruses when everything kicks off...all the lalas are fab, but the lead vocal needs nudging up a bit there.
Great work guys. Very enjoyable!😄🎶👊🏻🎶👊🏻🎶
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This is great! I love the harmonies...and wonderful lyrics!
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Yo Pauly and Neil.
What a great track in every way.
The lyrics are compelling and the myriad of subtle seemingly throwaway touches in the musical content are the icing on the cake for me.
Great talent on show right here and it deserves a million plays. A genuine joy to listen. 8)
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@PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) - This is a great sonic journey, loved some of the sounds that Neil used, it's the sort of thing I could never do, a lot of work in there.
Production is as always top drawer.
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This track sounds fantastic guys. The musical backdrop is interesting a mix of conventional and exotic (THAT competition) and serves as a reminder to me how thoroughly conventional my thinking is in my own stuff. The acoustic guitar sounds lovely Neil. And that trembly thing is great.
Love the vocal Pauly, full of character and colour as is your exotic and interesting lyric!
The chorus didn't immediately grab me but by the outro I was hooked. That outro with the backing la las is a real winner...just so good and makes you just want to go back and play it all again.
Really enjoyed it.
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been meaning to give this a listen since I saw the title of your song and it intrigued me- great instrumentation on this. Some very unusual sounds (hey I just use a bass!) very cool
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good work guys!
Very nice storytelling and concept
The song really has so much going for it
Well done!!
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Thanks everyone,
I'm just having a little downtime from the forum but thought it would be rude not to reply and says thanks for your feedback. An indeed looking at the names of the posts put a smile on face itself. And thanks to Pauly as well, a please to work with him.
:-)
neil
Shadowfax - 'good story, instrumentation excellent' thanks Kev
Jambrains - high praise from the production maestro :-)
Paulski - thanks we are proud parents of this one
MonnoDB - yes we really wanted the story to be the star and let the music support it, but it couldn't be too oredinary
Girlinside - yes I hear a bit of David in Paulys vocals too.
redrhodie - 'story was so well conceived and told that I got images in my head' great feedback
MichaelA - delighted you enjoyed it. Pauly has a classy and individual way with words
LostBoy - 'the thought of younger men rubbing their lamps until their hands are raw!!' steady on ! and yes you're right about the ending vocals. there was a lot going on it the mix...
CaliaMoko - glad it hit the spot
skub - great feedback 'A genuine joy to listen'. It felt like I did listen to it a million times in the mixing..
cowparsleyman - 'great sonic journey' thanks a lot
Count - 'This track sounds fantastic guys' :-)
Andyb - thanks for the listen and comments
Rightly - Cheers for you support