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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: rightly on June 12, 2019, 06:15:40 PM

Title: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: rightly on June 12, 2019, 06:15:40 PM
I put this together a while ago.
it was a lot of fun.
There are no words or human voice in the track.

I'd like to continue down this sort of thing, it's unlike anything I've done before.


https://soundcloud.com/rightly/rightlys-deviation-3
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: shadowfax on June 13, 2019, 10:18:50 AM
A strange piece..held together nicely by the ...are they Trombones?, every other bar, atmospheric and slightly eerie, found it quite hypnotic :)
great title... 8)

good work!! :)
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: Skub on June 13, 2019, 01:54:52 PM
Yo Rightly and I hope you are!

I love the feel of this piece,like a slightly sinister 'Teddy Bear's Picnic'.  :o

There has a cinematic vibe and I can see someone with a bit of video talent making a vid to suit. Great to hear you experiment.

A cohesive track and a fine listen,you never cease to surprise!  8)
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: redrhodie on June 13, 2019, 02:42:20 PM
Hey rightly,

I thought it sounded like a great piece for a modern tango, and if I had fulfilled my 5th grade dream of becoming a choreographer, I'd make a dance on this. Its full of movement and imagery.
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: Sunduta on June 13, 2019, 05:00:30 PM
Unique atmosphere, tension during whole song. Listening to it creates really weird scenes in my mind :)
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: rightly on June 14, 2019, 10:02:30 AM
A strange piece..held together nicely by the ...are they Trombones?, every other bar, atmospheric and slightly eerie, found it quite hypnotic :)
great title... 8)

good work!! :)

Yes, trombones. Glad you like it. 

@redrhodie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21171) @Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) @Jibbek (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22379)

Thanks for commenting guys.

The images in
 my mind as I wrote it
Were of an expanse of sand dunes, sort of Arabic. Spicy n novel.
Like in films when the world was larger, a foreign culture is shown and the viewer is meant to be awed n intrigued. Lol. 

It seems I have  natural tendency to sound a bit sinister, or dark. Ah well.
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: MichaelA on June 14, 2019, 10:39:49 AM
Hi @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) , I am sure this would be a good sync offering, instrumentals are quite in demand.

Really interesting soundscape, a fusion of Western with a hint of Eastern instrumentation. The trombone idea is very creative and listenable. Enjoyed!
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: rightly on June 14, 2019, 02:13:54 PM
Hi @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) , I am sure this would be a good sync offering, instrumentals are quite in demand.

Really interesting soundscape, a fusion of Western with a hint of Eastern instrumentation. The trombone idea is very creative and listenable. Enjoyed!


I tried to keep it very simple and
also to respect the characteristics of the individual instruments working together.
If there're eastern influences in there it's very much perceived from a western angle.

Thanks for your positive feedback.
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: Bankie on June 16, 2019, 02:18:42 PM
That's some arrangement you've got there. It was a little repetitive but was kept interesting because of the complexity brought by the conversations between the instruments. With the consistent theme throughout, this would fit right in on a mystery-type puzzle game; say, something like Quantum Conundrum.
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: rightly on June 17, 2019, 10:34:39 AM
That's some arrangement you've got there. It was a little repetitive but was kept interesting because of the complexity brought by the conversations between the instruments. With the consistent theme throughout, this would fit right in on a mystery-type puzzle game; say, something like Quantum Conundrum.

Repetitive, yes.  That was part of the deal. I was studying sound design in an institute.
We had a good talking to about all the aspects of the piece.
In my original version it's more stripped down, still complete.
I wanted to get it finished in about two days because I was working something else.

It's definitely intended to be a musical backdrop.
The intention is to have a lively bit of video to be taken in while listening.
The video was never made but the images were vivid enough in my mind.

I was so pleased with this on finishing it.
The restrictions, that were relayed to me, the brow-beating, all in German. Lol. 
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: diademgrove on June 19, 2019, 10:46:23 AM
Hi Rightly,

wonderful instrumental. I liked the way the additional instruments were set against the relentless beat, A very enjoyable few minutes which wouldn't have outstayed its welcome if it'd gone on for another 5 minutes.

Keith
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: montydog on June 19, 2019, 12:37:12 PM
Kind of reminded me of Ennio Morricone's work on the 60's spaghetti westerns. I reckon you could have thrown even more weird sounds in and it would have worked. This is unlike anything I've heard on here before and it's beautifully done. You are an arranger of some considerable talent. Nice one.

M
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: PaulyX on June 23, 2019, 10:30:59 PM
Very unusual and interesting. To me, this was the soundtrack to a toyshop, when all the toys come to life at night when no one is there, and start plotting something evil. I dug the trombones/tambourines every second bar for a while, but didn’t think they needed to stick around quite as long as they did, because there’s plenty else going on and they dominate a bit. Let the other evil toys share the limelight. Quirky, clever, unsettling music Rightly.
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: rightly on June 24, 2019, 09:24:01 AM
Hi Rightly,

wonderful instrumental. I liked the way the additional instruments were set against the relentless beat, A very enjoyable few minutes which wouldn't have outstayed its welcome if it'd gone on for another 5 minutes.

Keith

Thanks Keith   
I didn't want to take it further   
I think it's better to not say everything
Maybe have at least one more track to follow it
It still might come .I hope so 

I'm glad you liked the track 
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: Girlinside on June 25, 2019, 09:04:57 AM
Sounds like music in a film or something- it’s a sort of story telling with out using words
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra on June 25, 2019, 06:00:13 PM
The instruments sound great in this. That rapid bow across the strings and those deep piano notes especially nice but really it all sounds good and you've knitted everything together with some skill. Makes for a totally absorbing piece.

I'd love to know how you got all those fab sounds....well, and how you managed to get them all to sound so good...but I'll accept if you keep it a secret!

Great mood piece Rightly and I'm suitably impressed...bowled over really. Nicely done indeed!
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: Muso1070 on June 25, 2019, 09:17:09 PM
Love this great cover art as well ;-)
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: rightly on June 27, 2019, 08:36:56 PM
The instruments sound great in this. That rapid bow across the strings and those deep piano notes especially nice but really it all sounds good and you've knitted everything together with some skill. Makes for a totally absorbing piece.

I'd love to know how you got all those fab sounds....well, and how you managed to get them all to sound so good...but I'll accept if you keep it a secret!

Great mood piece Rightly and I'm suitably impressed...bowled over really. Nicely done indeed!

hi
I was using native instruments and was hell-bent on trying to make it sound classical.
Bolero, that classical piece was an inspiration.
It's theatrical. I had visions of an old black n white film
the hero and his gang look on as a mighty foreign army pass by.

the awe n wonder, fascination on their faces.
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: CaliaMoko on June 27, 2019, 11:53:03 PM
I wasn't done listening...but I guess it's true--always leave 'em wanting more. Besides, I can listen as many times as I want. :) Definitely hear the Bolero influence. If I did something like this, I'd be looking for synch licensing. It sounds great!
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: rightly on June 30, 2019, 03:44:41 PM
I wasn't done listening...but I guess it's true--always leave 'em wanting more. Besides, I can listen as many times as I want. :) Definitely hear the Bolero influence. If I did something like this, I'd be looking for synch licensing. It sounds great!

well, yes ma'am.
This will fit nicely into an album, I'm ambitious that way.
An album is a bigger experience than a song, if done right it'S a greater achievement.
Glad you like the song.
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: Mikey on June 30, 2019, 08:49:00 PM
Great movie theme. I was imagining an Indiana Jones type of movie with this playing over the titles at the beginning, nice job.

Cheers, Mikey
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: rightly on July 03, 2019, 02:46:24 PM
Great movie theme. I was imagining an Indiana Jones type of movie with this playing over the titles at the beginning, nice job.

Cheers, Mikey

Lol 
Like a lot of men of my age there was a time when I identified with indy.
The association you made was a delight
Maybe it comes from the days when I'd dream of being him 
Thanks for commenting   
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: Modestmouse1965/ on August 26, 2019, 11:49:10 PM
This is a great tension piece and would easily be picked up by Film Or Tv looking for this kind of sound. I think you have tapped in to something here. More of the same please. Cheers.
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: Darren1664 on September 07, 2019, 04:37:12 PM
Wow very unexpected! I could hear this as the soundtrack to a very trippy fantasy RPG! Very well put together
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: crystalsuzy on September 12, 2019, 10:08:14 PM
Very cinematic!  I could hear this in some suspenseful movie :o It also has an hypnotic vibe with the recurring brass. I don't think I could put together an instrumental. Well done :)
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: Jamie on September 15, 2019, 11:55:00 AM
Hi Rightly, love it, I'm a huge fan of Frank Zappa and this could be a section of one of his more esoteric pieces. The instruments sound really authentic too!
Very good.
Cheers
Jamie
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: adamfarr on September 17, 2019, 08:30:43 AM
An impressive creation. I got a bit of West Side Story at the beginning and then the woodwinds pointed to something more deserty. Very accomplished.
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: Wicked Deeds on September 17, 2019, 09:47:44 AM
@Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219),

Menacing and melodic. There for the listener to imagine and construct his/her own lyrical story too. Your definitely honing your production skills/use of a DAW. Cool music.

Well done!

Paul
Title: Re: the third deviation (instrumental)
Post by: rightly on September 18, 2019, 05:33:03 PM
@Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219),

Menacing and melodic. There for the listener to imagine and construct his/her own lyrical story too. Your definitely honing your production skills/use of a DAW. Cool music.

Well done!

Paul

Yes, I seem to go for menacing. It seems to draw in the attention, maybe my rough upbringing.
Getting control of the daws? Well that's an aim but I dont know if I'm making progress, there are some essential areas where I've depressingly still little idea. I've been struggling of late.
Thanks for commenting.