The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: tboswell on May 30, 2019, 02:02:01 PM
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Knocked this together recently after listening to some Bread.
My Dad had a greatest hits tape "The Sound Of Bread" in the car and I grew up listening to this soft rock 70s stuff, it's deep in the musical DNA for me.
Tried to put something together using the same diminished chords in those classic songs.
Then added a fittingly post hippy lyric about compromise, listening and loving one another. Surely none of that is still relevant in our enlightened times!?
You decided...
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HEY THERE, STRANGER
(T J Boswell)
Hey there, stranger
We’re worlds apart
Understanding’s a real lost art
Till you start
To put a little love in your heart
Hey there, stranger
We’ll play our parts
Adversaries
But being right ain’t that smart
Without a little love in your heart
With a little love we can find it
Somewhere we both want to stand
And you know everyone loses
If we, watch the world burn
While we make our demands
Listen stranger
My counterpart
I will hear you if you impart from the start
With a little love in your heart
With a little love and some patience
No ones as strange as they seem
We've seen enough escalation
And buddy, there ain’t no ends justifing those means
Hey there, stranger
Though worlds apart
Everybody’s a crazy flawed work of art
With a little love in they’re hearts
with a little love in they’re hearts
℗ T J Boswell
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I like it. I might even want to sing it some day. I'm interested in why you chose to name it "Hey There, Stranger" instead of "A Little Love" or something like that?? Then it occurs to me that the name you chose is less predictable and common than the one you didn't....
I have no constructive criticism but wanted to let you know I really like it. :D
Vicki
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Yo Tom.
The 70s were another country for sure. David Gates...Bread..man they were not on my listening list! I get where you are coming from,we absorb all the music we hear as little ones,then as we age a strange thing happens. All those 'uncool' artists suddenly pop up in the music you make.
I'd far rather listen to your music than David Gates,yet everything has it's place and influences cannot be denied.
When I began playing as a means of earning money,I was amazed at how many of the songs I despised had great structure and innovation. It changed forever how I listened to music.
A sweet song Tom with superb arrangement.
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I'm interested in why you chose to name it "Hey There, Stranger" instead of "A Little Love" or something like that?? Then it occurs to me that the name you chose is less predictable and common than the one you didn't....
Thanks for the kind comments there. You caught me out though! ::) I seem to have a "little love" pattern going through loads of songs at the moment. I have several "Little Love" titles in my catalog and another few coming so thought I would deviate a little here.
When I began playing as a means of earning money,I was amazed at how many of the songs I despised had great structure and innovation. It changed forever how I listened to music.
Thanks Skub. I totally agree with this, had the same experience of looking at music I thought I didn't like and finding fascinating stuff in there. I like to think of music I don't like as music I get to discover I love later :)
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Enjoyed it, but kind of lost the ability to dissect it as it hangs together nicely. The biggest critisism I can give it that it's "their hearts" not "they're hearts". :)
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An excellent song and of course it's relevant...the problem nowadays is if your not spitting it out in a tuneless fashion ( Stormzy comes to mind) it's never gonna get played on today's radio.. ???
good work mate!! :) :)
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Beautiful, I wish I could also write such calm and sentimental songs. That instrumental part is excellent, making contrast with sad vocals. Also I like modesty of your music.
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Hi Tom, yep I can definitely hear that Bread influence, but your own twist comes with a stronger rock vocal and punchier bass and drums.
I like that delicate acoustic playing then the flourish of that retro orchestration -underpinning a really nice vocal melody. You've studied your influence well and dissected it all with some skill. It's just a really sweet listen all in all, nice one!
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@tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) - Really really liked this, I was and still am David Gates appreciator, I can dig the Bread vibe,
Maybe....some close female harmonies at the end of each second line (real lost art, and right aint that smart...later on justifying those means)
maybe keep the LVox un-pushed in the chorus, just from memory, he didn't used to let rip...did he?
Superb string arrangement, lovely acoustic gtr sound, seemed to disappear later in the song (shame), nice bar chimes to, love those.
Not sure about those semiquaver snare hits i.e.@1:30 , might have gone for a single cross stick, it's a bit distracting.
Could you bring the gorgeous Acoustic guitar in again at the end, outtro with just that?
Thanks for a lovely song
Hope this helps
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Hi Tom,
took me back to the 1970s and for some strange reason The Carpenters rather than Bread. Very enjoyable, no suggestions though. Sometimes you just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Keith
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Somehow I've completely missed "Bread" - didn't even know there was such a band - but if they influenced this, there must be some buried treasure there. I really liked it - lovely melody, very well sung, smart meld of acoustic guitar and strings, and excellent structure. You seem capable of capturing any genre you turn your hand too (as does CPM come to think of it).
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Hi Tom, I am old enough to remember Bread but they did absolutely nothing for me I’m afraid. Your song and performance on the other hand is much more enjoyable. It’s a lovely catchy number taken to another level by your (always strong) vocals.
To my ears the production and arrangement is spot on.
This will never be my preferred genre, but this is an excellent 1970s pastiche.
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Everything sounds perfect. I don't know bread, but definitely sounds like a classic. If I heard this on the radio, I'd wonder why I hadn't heard it before.
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Top drawer.
I can hear hear the David Gates/Bread thing...but I'd happily drag him (if he's still alive) out of his mansion and hold a gun to his head until he'd signed the deeds over to you.
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This is just great. Your vocals are so different to David Gates' but underneath I can hear his influence. I think this a cracking song in all departments and full of melodic invention which is so rare to hear. My only problem (and please don't take this personally), is that your vocal tone and delivery do not suit the song. IMHO it needs a gentler more mellow vocal which would bring out the underlying beauty of the song.
Great writing though.
M
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Not a whole load of love for David Gates and Bread out there
'd happily drag him (if he's still alive) out of his mansion and hold a gun to his head
but I appreciate the very kind comments for my song :)
My only problem (and please don't take this personally), is that your vocal tone and delivery do not suit the song. IMHO it needs a gentler more mellow vocal which would bring out the underlying beauty of the song.
maybe keep the LVox un-pushed in the chorus, just from memory, he didn't used to let rip...did he?
@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) thanks for the feedback guys, the thing is more inspired by Bread than a full pastiche, he didn't let rip but it's really something I enjoy so I did it! Tried to bring back the quiet at the end somewhat but could have perhaps done a little more...
took me back to the 1970s and for some strange reason The Carpenters rather than Bread.
@diademgrove (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19135) masters of the soft rock cannon as well those kids! Thanks for the comparison :)
...the problem nowadays is if your not spitting it out in a tuneless fashion ( Stormzy comes to mind) it's never gonna get played on today's radio.. ???
@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) is there a place I can take a class in this tuneless spitting? I'm sure I could master it with enough time :)
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@tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) - Shame really, Gates was a superb Songwriter and could capture feeling better than many, 'Guitar Man' captured the mysticism of being a guitarist, and I wanted to be that man, it kept me motivated when I was a teenager, practising every day while my mates were out playing footy.
I just think they picked the wrong Band name 'Bread' immediately reminded me of that mouldy loaf in the bread bin, not very rock'n'roll.
Great Work, It's not a genre I'd attempt as it's such a hard act to follow, utter respect man.
Rich
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@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308)
'Guitar Man' captured the mysticism of being a guitarist, and I wanted to be that man, it kept me motivated when I was a teenager, practising every day while my mates were out playing footy.
Yeah, "Guitar Man" is something else isn't it. Full to sadness and longing, the guitar player as a wandering spirit fading away but lingering. Really stuck with me when I was young, the magic and the pathos he summons up.
For those who don't know it:
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Brilliant... just brilliant