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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pompeyjazz on May 18, 2019, 01:42:07 PM

Title: Want U
Post by: pompeyjazz on May 18, 2019, 01:42:07 PM
I've had this song hanging around for quite a while but I just could not get it to sound as I wanted to (Ever been there ?)

Anyway, I've recently re-done some parts and re-mixed it and I think I've got it how I want  :)

All comments and critique much appreciated


I, want you in my life, want you in my life, every day and every night
I, need you in my life, need you in my life, every day and every night

Sitting alone, long lost and lonely
When I'm on my own
Dream of you constantly, always it throws me

No place to hide, emotions so raw
My isolation, hoping you'll walk in the key in the door

Ever since you've been away
I count the hours day by day
Friends drop by a drop of gin
Couldn't see the state I'm in
Saturday papers, Sunday roast,
Tell you what I miss the most
I want you, I want you

I, want you in my life, want you in my life, every day and every night
I, need you in my life, need you in my life, every day and every night
I, want you in my life, want you in my life, every day and every night
I, need you in my life, need you in my life, every day and every night

(c) Bradley - 2019
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: Paulski on May 18, 2019, 02:04:43 PM
Boy lots of soul coming out on the board lately.
I love how this labours along with the 3/4 time and bluesy vocals.
The change-up in the middle is well judged and keeps things interesting.
One of your best John and there have been many great ones  ;D
Paul
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: Skub on May 18, 2019, 03:27:06 PM
Yo pomps.

You are so good at this kind of old rock and roll/soul type of song. It suits your voice so well.

At first I thought the song was quite busy,almost cluttered,but when everything dropped out around the 32 second mark,then it all made sense to me and gave a real sense of dynamics.

The bridge was pure....er...whaddya call them..oh yeah,Beatles.  ;D

Gonna give it a few more plays now.  8)
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: PaulyX on May 19, 2019, 09:03:10 AM
This is fab John, and also very "Fab 4"... channeling Lennon.  Really liked the quirky bridge too.  The whole thing has an air of love-sick desperation about it... tonnes of emotion, and I liked the lyrical details like the gin and the newspapers.  Great song to start a Sunday morning with - thanks.
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: tboswell on May 20, 2019, 01:43:35 PM
Another powerful piece of work John! Soulful but full of bruising guitar noise, in a way I can't recall being used together before. Nice!
That verse sounded a bit shadowfax to me, with the acoustics and synths.

I felt the start was a bit messy, there's some hiss I turned up cos I thought it was a feature, then the drums came in and blew my head off! BOOM! And the vocal rhythm right at the start is a little hard to make out until the track settles. Could tidy those things up a touch.

Love the middle section, horns on there are nice, the piano is great and the move back to 6/8 works really well.
Really powerful and epic, loved it. :)
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: SlavaB on May 20, 2019, 01:56:21 PM
Great work John, very professional mastering. Great sound, Great music & Great vocals.

Best Regards,
Slava B.
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: shadowfax on May 20, 2019, 06:02:53 PM
Powerful number John mate, luv the geetar work in this song..agree with Thoswell that the start was a bit confusing vocal wise..seemed like 2 outa sync vocals...bangin song tho!! :)
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: pompeyjazz on May 20, 2019, 09:57:04 PM
Hear what you guys are saying about the opening vocals. Had to port most of this off an old sadly dead computer so will be redoing them,  I think it's worth it  :)
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: Bill Saunders on May 21, 2019, 10:11:30 AM
Brilliantly sang, dripping with emotion and soul. I loved it. The break in the middle is so original and it fits perfectly. Production sounds top notch to me too. Very enjoyable.
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: PaulAds on May 21, 2019, 10:20:25 AM
Aye... Top song, John

Captures quite a bit of that obsessive, claustrophobic thing that Costello did with a song with a similar name...although I honestly think this is better. He got a bit carried away with himself, really.

The change of pace certainly was a bold move...good on you for your sparkling originality and fearlessness.

Cracking stuff.
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: MichaelA on May 22, 2019, 01:47:27 PM
I really like that verse melody and feel that breaks out about 30 secs in, very atmospheric and controlled.

There's a busy feel to some parts but your mix skills have tamed it well.


Your mid break interlude section is completely surprising, refreshing and loads of fun. All these differing elements combine to make it quite an epic piece overall. Great concoction of musicianship and a fair bit of passion too! :)
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: pompeyjazz on May 23, 2019, 09:46:17 PM
Another huge thanks @Bill Saunders (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18525) @PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) @PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) @SlavaB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19895) @Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) @tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) .I toyed with re recording the whole fecking thing but decided it is what it is  :) I did tweak the mix with regard to the opening so as always, being on this forum is brilliant  8)
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: Cawproductions on May 23, 2019, 10:06:09 PM
Hi Pomps, Missed this one.

Great mix of vibes in here, like the sig change to, that gave it a step up.

Agree with one comment earlier tho, a tad busy on the intro section.

But overall great mix and a cool arrangement.

Thumbs up here dude.
Andy
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: Bankie on May 26, 2019, 03:39:59 PM
Quality as usual. Loved the change at "Ever since.." and the ending, especially the crazy guitars.
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: RealKevM on May 27, 2019, 01:22:35 AM
I knew John Lennon was still alive. Saturday paper, Sunday roast indeed. Fantastic as always Sir.
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: macker71165 on May 27, 2019, 10:59:06 AM
wow very nice recording and song fella!   ... think lennon would be proud of this tune too
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: mickyplankton on June 05, 2019, 11:38:48 AM
Hi Pompey. I concur with most of the above. This is a very fine example of a song where he bridge not only works bit actually makes the song. It adds interest and then when the original song comes back in its like the return of an old friend. I'm not a fan of bridges in general but this is an exception.
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: redrhodie on June 06, 2019, 04:03:27 PM
Great guitar. I especially like the tremolo, I think that's what it is. Haha. Your singing reminds of Elvis Costello. I like the bridge. I think the chorus is a little too repetitive. I like the way it ends a lot.
Title: Re: Want U
Post by: montydog on June 10, 2019, 02:53:54 PM
Towering vocal performance is the key to this. Production and arrangement top notch as always. I liked the way the piano came in at around 2 minutes - it was almost like 2 songs in one. Maybe the chorus is a little repetitive but that's nit picking really. Excellent piece of music.

M