The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Anna Dubrovsky on May 06, 2019, 08:54:56 PM
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Hi! I released my first album and I wanna show you my fav song "Delay". What do you think about this? I really really hope you'll like it! :D
Delay:
http://annadubrovsky.com/songs/the_desire_album/delay
Lyrics:
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I left everything behind
I can't take it with me
It was so funny to hear
Meanwhile, you wanna be me
I was tortured by my dreams
And I couldn't sleep
I couldn't sleep
They told me
Stop crying like a little baby
You're already an adult
But I was freaking out because of your stupid manners
I always fade away
But stay away
Just stay away my head
I told you that
I won't came back
I won't came back
I won't came back
And minutes went
And we were dead
But were alive everytime
We looked at the sky
I don't know if I can
But I feel alive again
Maybe if I find a way
I'll return without delay
Without delay
You know it's hard to forget your voice
You are like an infection and you will be destroyed
And even if we fall into the hole
And we will fall and fall
But I don't care anymore
Because I'm already lost
Save me one more time
Where am I?
And where to find you tonight?
I told you that
I won't came back
I won't came back
I won't came back
And minutes went
And we were dead
But were alive everytime
We looked at the sky
I don't know if I can
But I feel alive again
Maybe if I find a way
I'll return without delay
Without delay
I don't know if I can
But I feel alive again
Maybe if I find a way
I'll return without delay
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Hi Anna,
A lovely ballad.
Has a modern feel but also has references to some early 80s New Romantic genre. hints of Eurthymics.
Well produced and sung.
Sandeep
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thank you so much ;D
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If you take the time to listen and comment on other peoples work you will surely get more response..it's a two way street.. :)
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Hi, welcome. Nice track, my favourite aspect is the backing vocals - quite unusual, and I like the way they don’t go for typical harmonies, and sound quite distant from the mic. I also liked the simplicity of the synths - good restraint there, made me think of the track Wonderful Life by Black, or very early Depeche Mode... so yes it has the spirit of the 80s for sure, with some Millennial updates. Areas for improvement - I’d say some of the lyrics could be thinned out, as it sounded like you were rushing over the words sometimes in the first half of the song. I also personally wasn’t a big fan of the “eh, eh-eh-eh” vocal repeats after the choruses, but then again that did feel like one of the most modern traits of it, so I might be showing my years there... Anyway overall very classy track to arrive with. As Shadowfax says if you join in with the forum and review some others you’ll get more feedback I’m sure.
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I'm weak for a good ballad, and I like the package this song contains. With the synths, backing vocals. The song is somewhere in between the 80s and modern music, but I enjoyed the listen. I see great potential for this song! :)