The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Troispr on May 01, 2019, 08:44:42 AM
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I've just completed a song about not wanting to grow up and have recently learnt that these forums are amazing for feedback.
It would be amazing if you could take a look and let me know what you think :)
I Don’t Wanna Grow Up:
Well I don’t wanna leave this place
I know nothing will be the same
I’m talking about
This moment in time coz
I don’t wanna to say goodbye
I don’t wanna grow up up up up up up up
I don’t wanna grow up up up up up up up
I don’t wanna grow up
Can I just stay here plz
Stay 20
I love these years
I’m not ready to grow
Up up up ups p up up
i don’t wanna grow up up up up up up up
I don’t wanna grow up
Think about the late nights and
Free time
Juvenile
Getting High
Loosing time
Don’t wanna think about
Stay ins
11pms
Endings
New beginnings
No
I don’t wanna grow up up up up up up up
I don’t wanna grow up up up up up up up
I don’t wanna grow up
Why why why why
I don’t wanna grow up up up up up up up
I don’t wanna grow up up up up up up up
I don’t wanna grow up
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Relatable lyrics about not wanting to grow up, and I think a lot of people can relate to that :) With that said, I think you have a really good voice, a cool pop/indie voice. The acoustic guitar rhythm fits the song good, and the fill-in from the drums works well. The whole production with the song and video seems very professionally done!
Nice job, and welcome to the forum :)
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Thank you so much! That's really great to hear!
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Whato @Troispr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22382) - Great song, nicely played, LVox beautifully delivered, BVox even better, I particularly like the arrangement, with stops for letting the music breath, so tastefully done, those strings are kept well down in the mix.
Took another listen with earbuds (this time didn't look at the Video), yeah, comes together, reveals alot, as @Younger Hills (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22101) said it sounds pretty well produced, but a lot of that could be down to the time spent planning the arrangement, did you play it live much?
Where did you record it?
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This is decent, I like that you've gone to the effort of making a video too.
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Thanks you so much @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308)
I play it live all the time yes. It's strange now when I play it live because I hear all the accompaniment I added in my head.
Thanks for taking the time to listen to it and watch it on different levels, you made some really great points. My cousin helped me record all the different parts I had, he kindly added drums and bass as well which really lifts the track I think.
Troispr
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Thank you @RealKevM (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21324) :) I really wanted this song to be something I could be proud of.
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Wouldn't it be great to not grow up, or at my age grow down a bit!
Pretty song, and the video looks great. I wasn't sure when you sang "up up up" the notes should go up. You don't do up first time, 2nd time you do but fall down again.
Not sure if you meant anything by that, seems like you are considering growing up and then thinking maybe not.
Anyway, enjoyed it very much. Do check out and comment on others peoples stuff on the forum, lots of interesting work going on!
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Hi this is a beautiful ballad.
Well produced.
Great vocals and harmonies.
Top video and a great listen.
Sandeep